Time and tide

Hi, I was going to start with ‘the funny thing about being genderfluid is…’ but I stopped as it felt like the warm up to a joke. I am now feeling a bit of pressure to say something amusing, but that’s unlikely to happen 🙂 A while ago, someone asked me what did being genderfluid felt like to me and the answer I gave was it was like the tide and a walk by the sea. It’s just a matter of time before the water rolls in and I start to feel that I’d like to express/appear/be the fancier version of who I am. As a midlander while I understand how the Moon affects the sea, the actual timings remain […]

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The Tide

Is it Sunday morning or Saturday night? It’s certainly later that Friday night and the clockwork post. Tick tock. Friday came…. and went. A scene plays out in my head. I feel the sea of emotions rise and swell, rolling me, and I try to steady my course. It is dark and while I can feel the wind and the spray, proverbially speaking, the big waves, remain lost in the gloom of what might be. I will not go overboard and I will not drown. I am not lost at sea, but…. I am tired. Tired of holding the wheel. Tired of the same course each week give or take. I need to get out of this storm. Get out […]

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Strange peace

Hi folks, Hope you are all keeping well and sane given the lockdown situation. The last handful of weeks have been rather pleasant, if I’m honest. No commute, the shift of all meetings to online, more time with my family, dog walks at lunchtime in the countryside, and frankly, a lot less stress. Yes, I am working longer hours, but given the location and balance of home/work, I don’t mind. Perhaps due to the above, and as I was saying to the Ever Lovely Mrs J, I am okay with not going out on Thursdays. That feels really strange to write that! Yes, I’m missing friends there, and the Skype/mobile calls help keep in touch. But, the actual dressing, it’s […]

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Colours

Hi, If jealousy is the green-eyed monster, blue is sadness, and seeing red is anger, what colour is guilt? An off-white or sickly hue that pervades or hazes like a thin mist? This past week I’ve had occasional touches of guilt. Perhaps because work has been flexible around family commitments and I’m actually enjoying what I do, I’ve been feeling like I’m not working for a living. Or more accurately, I’m at work, getting things done, helping, and it’s not a slog. Plus, it’s not about me, but the small group of us pulling together to do what we can. Despite a slow return to El Wookie Pins, I’m feeling okay about the trans side of things, so it ain’t […]

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Moolah

Hi, I think I can safely say that I’m not a hot weather worker. Come to think of it, too cold and I’m not exactly spritely either. Maybe I’m just not cut out for the office life? 😀 Could it be my odd Celtic/Nordic genetic cocktail? I’m all in when it comes to a nap in the sun, but it’s touch and go for anything more taxing than fetching me or the Ever Lovely Mrs J a cool drink. 🙂 With the heat and the bright earning mornings, my sleep hasn’t been what it usually is, so I’m kinda not in the zone when it comes to T stuff. So, another Chams meeting in bloke mode. Maybe to ‘cure’ the […]

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Tea power

Hi, Do you find that you talk yourself out of doing something? Okay, sometimes this is a good thing (do I really want that second pint at lunch?), but if you’re anything like me – and you have my sympathy if you are! 🙂 – there are times when fortune favours the brave. So it was yesterday. I had the good fortune to be working at home (Yay! No meetings!) and as I worked through my Do List, I wondered about Thursday night out. The weather was a lot cooler and yet, I wasn’t quite in the right mood for it. Indeed, in many ways, I was revving myself up for just going along in Bob Mode. Summer can be […]

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