Lessons Learned VII

Hi, In the last Lessons Learned I wrote about going out and the need for some self-belief to help make that happen. Listening to trans friends and reflecting on my own experiences, one of the things that can really hammer us is passing. For those not in the know, shall we aim for passing as appearing as your preferred/new gender and not being ‘read’ (spotted/outed/seen) as transgender. It’s not about tricking anyone, it’s often about personal safety, but there’s more than that. (Note: a slight edit to that paragraph. I’m not a huge fan of definitions – I’m more a story person – but I think we need to start somewhere 🙂). I think passing is a curious thing: an […]

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Lessons Learned: Part VI

Hi, When it comes to be being somewhere on the Trans spectrum, there’s the question about going out. I’ve mentioned support groups and shopping previously, yet stepping out can be quite another thing, IMO. In some ways, getting outside feels like ability, confidence, style, and self acceptance coming together as one. BTW, I don’t think you have to have a full house on those, and – dare I say – you decide when you’re ready. Maybe you’re still learning to dress or find your style, and your self acceptance isn’t there yet. But, so what? You want to get out there, you do that. You don’t need anyone’s permission (unless you’re borrowing the car 😉). Sometimes, you just have to […]

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Lessons Learned: Part V

Hi, If I look back to the memories of the emotions I had when i started this blog, I was very much up and down about my dressing. Okay, mostly down which was not a good thing. Getting by with occasional dressing before work, frantically clearing away all signs, sneaking time to buy things, and trying to live in just one gender. Moments snatched in a busy life and feelings of shame or guilt around who I was. Not a rollercoaster ride I would recommend. I think there’s a line between privacy, personal space, and hidden secrets. To live a life where a person must constantly check what they say, hide who they are: what type of life is that? […]

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Lessons Learned: Part IV

Hi, If I was a sci-fi nerd, I’d make a joke asking if this is a New Hope? Ah, but perhaps my comedic powers are weak (old man) and the Farce is not yet strong in this one…. Okay, I’ll get my cloak. Sorry, coat 😉 Over the last few posts, I’ve talked about trying to make sense of things, personal style, and shopping. Indeed, some of you were kind enough to chip in with your own stories and comments, which I think makes this little ol’ blog a bit less one sided. Hair By this, I mean on your head. Maybe we’ll talk about body hair and personal grooming another time. On my time on this planet I’ve had […]

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Lessons Learned: Part III

Hi, Last time I wrote about finding what works for you from a style point of view. That style may change based on what you’re up to, as your tastes change, or as your confidence grows. All that aside, knowing what works for you and actually getting hold of things leads to the heady world of shopping… Real World Shopping What about trying things on? Well, the old school Jeans on Top of the Stash hack works in most mixed gender stores. Supermarkets, out of town clothing barns, certain department stores, etc. Work you way through the clothing section of your choice, pick up a few items, and then drop a jumper or a pair of jeans from the section […]

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