To sway with the wind

Hi, How’s things? Hopefully less muddled than my current brain state 😁 Keep taking the tablets So I’ve finished my half doses and I’m now on a regular 20mg tablet. The good news is I’ve been through the pit – over the placebo uplift and back out of the emotional wobble that follows. Hopefully, it’s a steady – if occasionally wobbly – climb that improves. I am feeling less panicky – which I guess the whole reason I’m back here 😁. I can still feel the pull of runaway worries, but (touch wood) they are not grabbing me or causing my body to go into panic mode. Again, reasons to be cheerful. I think my sleeping patterns are settling down […]

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Work, doubt, and clothing confidence

Hi, Another working week out of the way and we’re into the weekend! It’s been an odd one for me given the amount of time out of the office. I’ve been working, just not at my desk. Thing is, there’s this little twinge of guilt that I just can’t seem to shake. The feeling that if I’m travelling from A to B, I’m not actually doing something. I get this sometimes when I’m working outside of the office. Maybe I’m coaching someone, or (hopefully) helping a team of people organise a project, or train them in the Tech Du Jour. The worry, if I had to give it a name, comes around like a lazy comet. I look at the […]

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“Like a lawn that’s seen better days…”

Hair loss. Now, what did Billy Connolly say about these? With the weather slowly turning to Spring, I’m finding I’m no longer sporting the all-important cosy hat. Okay, not a literal cosy but perhaps not far from it. 🙂 Much as it’s nice to feel the sun on my face, I’m sometimes conscious of the feeling of the wind through my lack of hair. You see *ahem* back in the day, I had long hair. Sure, it was a faff and meant a bit of upkeep, but it was very much part of who I was. Even when I had it cut, that felt more me than if I look at the buzzcut I have now. On bad days it […]

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Moving on

Hi, Am I glad it’s Friday! What a week. Sheesh. I feel like a hamster that’s been through an angry pinball machine. 🙂 None of this is T related. Just the punch-and-you-better-duck of life in general. A parking ticket at work, meetings, botched appointments, website woes*, and other malarkey that frankly…. and as the immortal line goes, “I’m getting too old for this shit.” 🙂 The above is all sorted out, but I could have done without that type of stress. Other stress, like deadlines, workload, and short bursts of dysphoria, I manage to cope with. It’s not so much the pressure, but the feeling of being trapped and unable to fix things that gets to me. Then, things get […]

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Tea power

Hi, Do you find that you talk yourself out of doing something? Okay, sometimes this is a good thing (do I really want that second pint at lunch?), but if you’re anything like me – and you have my sympathy if you are! 🙂 – there are times when fortune favours the brave. So it was yesterday. I had the good fortune to be working at home (Yay! No meetings!) and as I worked through my Do List, I wondered about Thursday night out. The weather was a lot cooler and yet, I wasn’t quite in the right mood for it. Indeed, in many ways, I was revving myself up for just going along in Bob Mode. Summer can be […]

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I, Spy

Hi folks, Well, it’s been an interesting few days this last week. Interesting as in a rollercoast of emotions, which at least tells you are alive. Nothing serious, but I could have done without it, if I’m honest. To be honest, there’s a lot of be said about quiet. There are days when I think quiet is vastly underrated. 🙂 I think the stress comes in when you feel you’ve got a lot on. Things organised at work, which impact on what you’ve got organised at home and then things you’ve organised socially… well, you get the idea! Event I had the good fortune to attend a training event on Trans Policy at a local university. There were lots of […]

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