Hi,
Where to start this one? Shall we being with saying I’ve nothing to grumble about? I think that might be a good start 😉
Mostly on my Tod
July is nearly over and we’re into the merry month of August. I am hoping the latter brings cooler days.
It is also exam results soon and fingers crossed Child 2.0 gets what he needs for the uni he wants to go to. He really worked his socks off, bless him. As distraction and also to use up some holiday, the Ever Lovely Mrs J took him out for a midweek roadtrip. Lots of castles and historic places, which is exactly Child 2.0’s bag.
With the temperature climbing again into the 30c‘s, it was a case of getting up early and taking it steady during the day. That and early starts to avoid the sun and let the hounds have a good walk in the cooler part of the morning.
Part of me had hoped I might manage a trip out, but the heat was too much for me. Indeed, the usual interests of reading, creating (tinkering, modding, writing, etc), and whatnot pretty much switched off. I did watch a few films on streaming, but it was very much a lazy week.
Deliver, return, and recycle
I have had my eye – or more accurately, my hyperfocus 🙄 – on some cute Boho or hippy sandals. However, it seems not to be, this year.
I bought some very cute ones from Love Lemonade in a size 8. I have some Birkies in that size and they’re a fab fit. So, surely there was a chance right? Nah. It was as if I’d ordered something from the childrens’ range. I could not get my toes through the first first strap, and that was midway in the shoe! 😠How is it that my New Looks’ and Birkenstock slides in an eight are fine… and this is…. are these shoes made for Tinkerbell? 🫠
There now follows a comedy rant:
When our new AI Overlords arrive, I will be dropping the following into the coding: the necessity for all footwear to be tested by a self adjusting robot foot. New grading for length and width will be applied. These new width measures will follow a of letters where A is very, very narrow, and midrange is probably F, and the current extra wide somewhere near J. What will pay for this testing is the tax applied to company profits & exec bonuses – not consumer purchases ✊ – based on the amount of shoes returned for a bad fit. Viva la revolución! ✊😁
On the upside of shopping, I bought a cute new bangle from Joe Browns and a sleeveless, crinkle material black top. They were definitely keepers.
I also had a look through my wardrobe and had a clear out of things I had kept back from the last clear out. Cue the local hospice charity shop getting two skirts, three pairs of heels, some cycling shorts (which didn’t work to hold my hip pads), and a brand-new-with-tags pair of blue jeans.
Books from the last century
Stana featured a post called Summer of ’68 which includes a link to the 1960s book, A Year Among The Girls. Given that’s an American book and of a topic unlikely to reach small rural English towns, it was very much news to me. There’s a link to a scanned copy in the Internet Archive (thank you, Stana!) which meant I was able to download it and have a read.
Setting
I am about two thirds of the way through the book, and I think I have to say it is of its time. I’ve hit the part where they are talking about visiting Casa Suzanna. A very rural / out in the sticks resort, I guess. I remember watching a documentary on this a while back. This book – and the above web site – dovetail that. I guess, and perhaps with a lot of history, there are different recollections, views, and some things can be forgotten. Particularly in a world where it’s not safe for you.
They do things differently in the past
With any book from the past, I think it’s necessary to remember when it was written and the experiences the author had. To judge someone from modern perspectives…. well, it’s a perspective. I struggle with this when I think about HP Lovecraft, that I enjoy his stories & world building. Yet his views on race and the language used…. well, horrible frankly.
Now I’ve virtue signaled the Woke Flag – yes, bigots I am being ironic, and do look that word up 😉 – there are some parts of Raynor’s (the author) where the language is very much of its time. Raynor seems to take time to hammer home being heterosexual ‘is normal’ and anything else is wrong or dirty. Now, if that’s down to the society that they grew up in I can’t say. I suppose at best it is ignorance. It’s not nice, sure, but it doesn’t feel targeted unlike the idiots today.
That said, and maybe this is my personal weirdness of neurospiciness and gender mess; as a teen in the 80s I could not understand why folk in the small town hated and mocked gay and lesbian people. Maybe that’s small town small mindedness – yes, I am judging! – the BS of right-wing press (The ‘Scum’) and Thatcher’s Bigots Charter. Sorry, Section 28. But back to the book 🙂
Cod psychology 101
Some of the ‘why we do what we do’ armchair psychology is…. Well, it may raise a well groomed eyebrow at the simplicity of the theories and how much things have changed between then and now.
At one point one of the people in the book mentions T folk do what they do ‘cos they hate their dads. Umm, no? 😁 My Dad’s a lovely chap: kind, gentle, funny, and was great with us kids. My goodness, I’m sure we tried his patience at times! 🤭
TBH, the ‘you mum loved you too much’ has a strong BSy whiff of blame the mother! Obviously we’ve moved away from that so much…. NOT 🙄
A few people also talk about ‘not giving in to addiction’ and I will raise my hand, and say that I had thought about my dressing in that way too. I don’t recall reading anything that suggested this was the way it was. I think it was my addled teenage brain trying to make sense of it. Heh, not so clever now eh Jones? 😁
Truth be told, that didn’t leave me until my early thirties. What replaced that was the idea that some people needed to express themselves to be who they are. It wasn’t addiction that caused the relief, it was letting go of the proverbial chains and mask I’d fixed to myself. Proverbially speaking, I breathe. For a time I wasn’t trapped in something I wasn’t.
Negative asides
Grumbles aside, what has held my attention is the similarity around behaviours. That the people they meet in the book tried to stop or hide who they are, and that didn’t work. Indeed there’s talk around distress, ‘the blues’, or mental breakdowns. That seems as much a thing as it is now. That if a person can’t be themselves, so this affects their mental health. How lucky we trans* & gender nonconforming people are compared to those in 60s America.
I found myself smiling as the author wrote around people wanting to look their best, and photos where very much a thing. I guess when you have to appear one way a lot of the time, having a record of how you might look – and indeed, perhaps to look like more of the time – that may help. Likewise you can learn from others how how they do their outfits, make-up, hair, adjust their figure, etc.
Despite the secrecy and the risk – indeed, some where outed and suffered because of that – T folk back then seemed desperate to talk and to meet others like them. I guess we humans have always been social creatures and we like to belong. Even if the risks were to lose family, their livelihood, perhaps even their freedom.
“Now we all have a great need for acceptance, but you must trust that your beliefs are unique, your own, even though others may think them odd or unpopular, even though the herd may go, “that’s b – – a – – d.” Robert Frost said, “Two roads diverged in the wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”
the character John Keating, Dead Poets Society
In closing
Despite a few cultural and things-of-their-time moments in the book, I’m enjoying it. It helps bring the past to life and connects some of the other bits of American history in my head.
I find wry amusement that in many ways, we’ve not changed. Sure, language, fashions, and acceptances has; but we are still here. We’re still trying to find who we need to be and we still seem to be pushing against those who say no.
Will it ever be thus? No, I think the current nonsense – like other political movements – is a snap-back or a last hurrah. Long term it will go and it doesn’t mean we should stop pushing back. Progress is not a smooth curve, that’s for sure.
I am now thinking that maybe I need to get my finger out, and go buy a copy of CJ DeBarra’s Queer Nottingham book. It covers the period from 1960 to 1999. Yes, Chameleons should be in there. We had quite the chat about it 🙂 But to be serious, Chams’ history is mostly handed down and stays within the group. Like the book A Year Among the Girls and Casa Suzanna, it is a piece of history most folk don’t get to hear about.
_________________________________________
Here’s to a good weekend when it arrives.
Take care,
L x
PS: I’ve updated the anti-spam system and done a few tests. Hopefully it won’t block your comments. There’s always the contact form if you get stuck and things play up.
Hi Lynn
Just a check as my last two comment attempts have hit an expired token error message from Captcha.
Thanks Susie. I’ll check the config. Apologies for the issues.
I got rid of the Google system and tried just the Jetpack option. That keeps spam out of the comments, but the spam would go into a bin for review. I was hoping the new one stops the nonsense from being submitted.
I guess more testing is needed. Ho hum.
Sorry about that, Susie. Okay, I’ve run some more tests and switched the CAPTCHA over to invisible mode. I can’t see to trigger any issues in Edge or Firefox, so I am hoping things are okay. Edge is Chromium based, so – fingers crossed – if it’s okay there, it’s okay in Chrome. If not, I’ll need to do some more testing. Oh, and the tests were on PC and mobile.
Hi Lynn
I suspect it’s an open secret now, especially after the recent documentary on Casa Susannah featuring an interview with his daughter Betsy, that the author of A Year Among the Girls, Darrel Raynor, was science fiction editor, author and founder of DAW Books, Donald A Wollheim, although this only gets a very breif one line mention at the end of Wollheim’s Wilipedia page. Although it was necessarily a much more closed secret at the time. In those days, it could cost your your family, home, reputation and job.
Thanks for reposting the link from Stana’s page so I know where to look for it later. I’ve not had a chance to read the book, which might take some time (and squinting at the scanned type).
Like you, I had some very conflicted feelings about my own cross dressing and need to cross dress (obviously related, but not quite the same thing) all the way up to my late thirties and beyond, up to the time I found other people I could open up and talk to on the internet.
Nowdays I am an open and active member of two LGBT+ and trans suport networks in my workplace. That’s rather astonishing.
Thank you for the extra information, Susie. Am I imagining this, or did you share something similar about Donald’s life in an email? Apologies if I am misremembering. Mind you! Either way, good job you’ve posted it ‘cos it’s gone right from my old noggin 🫠 I hope you enjoy reading Donald/Darrel’s book when you get chance. There’s various ways to export it – PDF, text, etc – so plenty of options around how you want to engage.
I’ve just been looking at Donald’s Wikipedia page and it seems he had quite the life. Not only that, but the publishing work and other activities had a massive influence on sci-fi (IMO). Also, that he took the cheeky option to publish Lord of the Rings in paperback, that’s astounding. If that hadn’t happened, might we have missed out on Tolkien’s stories? I suppose they may have popped up later. That or someone released something that was picked up.
This bit from Wikipedia – and one should always be wary of what one reads online 😉 – made me go “sorry, whut?” 😁
Just. Wow. Sure, wizards, elves, and orc (orks?) aren’t Hamlet, but then as Sturgeon’s law states, “Ninety percent of everything is crud” 😁 Besides, one person’s crud is another person’s livelihood or pleasure.
If I may, I think that’s totally understandable…. and not just because I was in a similar place 😉 On a more serious note, if all you are hearing is “queer is bad”, when do we get chance to read the more enlightened and evidence based research? If you’re swimming in that ‘zone of bad’ I would say how could that not influence our thoughts, equating who we are as anything but addicts, deceivers, tricksters, or pervs.
As you say in your closing comment about being open and in two LGBTQIA+ networks; hit it Camille! “We’ve come a long, long way together / Through the hard times and the good” 🎶
Nineties music banger references aside, if I think a bit more about your words, I have stuff to be thankful for too. This place for one, a blog where I can write, where I can hear from others, and where I can express myself. There’s Chams were I’ve learned to understand and accept myself, plus friendship. Those and the love of Mrs J who accepts me. Things worth celebrating and fighting to keep 💓
Ta Lynn
Yes I may have mentioned the Wollheim connection in a comment or an email a while back when Stana (I think) first posted an article to Casa Susanna or after I saw the documentary. Strange (especially for anyone under 30) to think there may have been a time before Tolkien (though I always had more time for Peake’s more weird and quirly Gormenghast series) and the whole epic fantasy glut (Eddings, Donaldson, Jordan and the rest). And that L’s bookshelves would be largely empty, or filled instead with science fiction. We might have been spared Harry Potter (and its author), but on the downside, no Diana Wynne Jones or Howl’s Moving Castle.
Was it alleged that Lord Dunsany might have penned the first fantasy novel? I guess you’d need to draw up some tags – far off lands, non-human folk, magic, etc – to decide. Otherwise Mary Shelley’s going to be in with The Modern Prometheus 😉 “It’s all made up, innit. S’bout this bloke ‘oo makes a loada dead bits into a new oooman.” 😁 Apologies, I seen the have copied & pasted from Cocknipedia 😉
I guess someone would have picked up on the legends and tropes eventually. What I will say about the Potter phenomenon, is it certainly seemed to get kids and adults back into books. I’ll not comment further on those.
[ Looks over to The Worst Witch series on the book shelves ] 😉
If you discount Cervantes (reputedly the first ‘novel’ as such) then yes Dunsanay’s The King of Elfland’s Daughter (which I read recently and is very fine) may be the first English fantasy novel. After that, possibly Hope Mirlees’ Lud-In-The-Mist (also very fine). Brian Aldiss argues for Frankenstein as the first sf novel (and consequently agues that sf is, at heart, a gothic form of literature.
I will take you word – and indeed, expertise – on all of those, Susie. I only know via geek culture and RPGs.
My first attempt at commenting got the same message as Susie mentions. So here goes again with wot I wrote:-
It’s a pity about the sandals as they look rather cute. I wish manufacturers would agree on sizes. Maybe it’s time for better regulation on the matter. After all, weights and measures are regulated and can result in legal redress if you are sold short; I think that wrong size-indicators on clothes waste a lot of customer time and can affect one’s image.
I have my fingers crossed for Child 2.0 and his hopes for uni. I’m sure we’ll learn from you in due course, but hard work usually reaps rewards.
Thanks for the book review. I saw Stana’s post and made a mental note to have a closer look so if you are enjoying it, even with reservations, I might add it to my reading pile.
Have a good weekend. August marks the start of autumn in the UK IMHO so I expect and wish you cooler weather. It was certainly boiling in London on Thursday.
Sue xx
Apologies for the annoyances around posting a comment, Sue. I’ve made some changes and done more tests. I can’t seem to replicate the error, so I am hopeful it’s now sorted.
I’ve put this image together – https://yatgb.co.uk/comment-test – where you can comment/reply.
If you do get an error and you’re on a Windows laptop, please try the Windows key (bottom left of most keyboards) and press SHIFT and S – that should open up the Snipping Tool, which lets you take a piccy.
You’re right – on both counts – about better sizing and the shoes were very cute. Maybe it’s a stretch, but I think bad sizing is ‘failure demand’ and that has a cost. The unnecessary waste of staff time – packing, shipping, accepting, evaluating, refunding, restocking, etc. – and the impact to the environment – packing waste, fuel spent delivering, and fuel wasted on returns.
Results are due mid August and thank you for the well wishes to Child 2.0. As Mrs J points out – who is as wise as she is lovely – universities are somewhat on the back foot financially, so course entrance grades will be flexible. I guess I am hoping he gets what he needs, so he can go where he wants to. Getting away from home made a world of difference to me, even if I didn’t qualify. I am hoping Child 2.0 will get similar benefits, bless him.
Autumn huh? Oh, I shall look forward to cooler temperatures that’s for sure! I hope the weather is kind to you back at Sue HQ and the pool is cooling.
I’m having trouble posting too. Blooming technology Grrr!!
I hope child 2.0 gets the results he needs. Fingers crossed.
When it comes to the psychology of why I dress, I just think I was born this way. It’s just how I am. Nothing to analyse here.
Dee xxx
Bah. I thought I’d fixed it. Sorry, D.
Yes, a good idea to think on its just how we are. If only I found leave that particular thought alone 😁