#NotSafeToBeMe

Hi, I’ve been trans since I was a child in the 80s. I learned early on, that little boys shouldn’t be sensitive or, kind; but should play rough, not care for their appearance or for the feelings of others. Anything ‘weak’, feminine, or ‘other’ was to be mocked or punished. It seemed the worst thing you could be was girly, or, heaven forfend, gay. You learn to hide who you are, never being who you need to be. When you swim through that toxicity, it gets in your eyes, your ears, your throat. It’s hard not to swallow some of it, those burning lies. If you can’t keep your head above, you might go under, and for a time, it […]

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Toxic

Hi, I’ve got a lot running around in my head at the moment. Thoughts jump in and out of focus, so I’m doing what I usually do in this situation: just write…. Or more accurately, when I can’t grab what I need to say, I tailspin into going off topic and I delete things. 🙄 I think this is attempt number four… The bad I… I don’t want to write about the bad things: the loss of womens’ rights in the US; the UK MP’s private letter sent to schools in South Yorkshire about a ‘push back’ to trans teens; and the creeping of fascism of our politics, etc. I am aghast that I’m writing that last line without irony, […]

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Crack the lens

Hi, By all that’s fabulous, it is far too hot today. A global uptick in heat waves and extreme weather, but hey, let’s count the money from burning fossil fuels in our air conditioned mansions. 😋 A few weeks back I happened to go to a professional ‘do’ and photos were taken: group shots on the fly and posed ones too. Luckily I managed to avoid most, but not all. I found myself looking at the smiles and laughter, thinking that folk had enjoyed themselves (which is great). There, in the background, was what looked like an egg with a pair of glasses drawn on it, balanced on a shirt and tie. Yes, that would be me. I clicked by […]

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Four days

Hi, This week saw the start of an experiment in a number of UK organisations: the four day working week. The important bit is folk are still paid for five days. That and it’s not where you do five days of hours in four. Been there, it was awful 😋 As someone who struggles to balance home commitments with work, and occasional bouts of, well, just feeling burned out by late Thursday, I could really fancy this approach of a shorter week. I read last year where Microsoft had tried it in one of their offices in Japan. Part of the deal was to stay off social media at work and try to cut down on lengthy meetings. The outcome […]

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You can’t say anything these days

Hi, It also seems I haven’t quite understood how to publish a post on the right date. How embarrassing 🙂 This week I happened to stumble upon an article about two comedians. One American, one British, both very well off, and both known for anti trans ‘jokes’. I thought I’d put that last word in quotes, just in case there’s any confusion. I mean, a joke is supposed to make you laugh, right? Sometimes, all I hear is hate and ignorance slithered out with the thin veneer of irony or “just sayin’”. The funny thing about humour – if you pardon the clumsy language there – is humour is both very personal and it changes. The knowing look and modern […]

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Late

Hi, Crikey, writing a blog post on Saturday. Tut tut and I haven’t even got a note from my mum to to explain my lateness. 😉 Hmm, there’s a thought and also an awkward conversation! 🙂 Hi, Mum. Remember I told you back in the 90s I’d stopped dressing? Yeah, well, it turns out that stopping was just a phase and I’m much more myself. No, Mrs J is fine and no, the kids don’t know I’m trans. Well, if they do, they’ve not said anything. Anyway, I’ve been running a blog for the last decade or two, and I was wondering if you write me a note to explain why I was late posting? Oh, yeah, I tend to […]

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