Hi,
Hello Friday, you welcome guest, you. Ah, the joys of a slow walk in the cool summer air, and the gift of not having to rush anywhere. Instead, I can take it steady, enjoy an iced coffee, and think about what waffle to put in here.
Hmmm. Waffles. 🧇🐷
Returns and keepers
Now, anyone who’s donned shapewear will know that there’s a bit of an issue around answering the call of nature. Generally this isn’t an issue for me at Chams, because the evening isn’t that long. But, with the hopes of going out & about, I find it’s a good thing to plan ahead. You know, just in case your body wants to surprise you. Hey! Yeah you. Remember we went before you got dressed? Yeah, I know we’re on the motorway, but I think we should go very soon. Love ya babes! 🙄😁
So it was that my eye fell upon some shapeware – a faja, if you want the style – as it had the all important zip in the all important area. A purchase was made, hopes rose….. and I’m sending it back today. 😐 Now I know my body lacks curves and even with my hip pads on – which was the reason I bought this – it was, well, awful. Too tight on the tum, and baggy on the thighs where it’s supposed to give more shape. Bah, humbug, and bah again! 😁
On a more positive note. Last month I bought some more anti-chaffing shorts – or as Snag call them: chub rubs. Lightweight, breathable, and – without oversharing – a -ahem- discrete gap, so you don’t need to take everything off, just one’s undies. That’ll do, pig, that’ll do 👏
Bad advice
In August – and unless cooler heads prevail – the Labour government are planning to release the EHRC’s advice – one more time at the back! advice – around trans* folk being able to access certain services.
This is a statement from The Good Law Project on the matter. In their words:
Harmful statutory guidance, which strongly encourages service providers to exclude and segregate trans people, is due to come into force on 5 August. Even though the code of practice is not binding, it is set to have a devastating impact on trans people’s lives.
While it only applies to services and associations – not employers – the guidance is widely expected to have a much broader effect. Businesses, clubs and other bodies must consider it, but it doesn’t change the law, and where there is a conflict with the Equality Act 2010 they must follow the Act.
The Good Law Project – 15th July 2026
Sigh. What a mess the current administration have made of this and equality. Is this Labour’s Section 28 2.0? It feels like it.
To riff on an old phrase: you can depend on leaders to do the right thing, when they have exhausted every other possibility.
Let’s move on.
Technical tweaks
The eagle eyed amongst you may have spotted the Google icon disappearing from the site. I was doing some bug fixing on the contact form, and it seemed I had left an old CAPTCHA present, but not active. That’s now gone, so the form works again. If you could give it a test, I’d be very grateful.
Reflection
Continuing with the lack of news apps – oh, and apparently there’s a football competition on at the mo? 🤷♀️ – I’m still reading a more curated feed. Space Daily popped this wee gem earlier around a researcher’s study into the behaviour of boys between six to eight, and their behaviour. Now, by Space Daily’s own admission, they’re not psychologists; folk interested in science, people, space (like, duh 😉), etc. Also, the study was a small group, so keep that in mind.
Now I’m sharing the above, ‘cos there was something in the article that chimed with me: that shift as I got a bit older as a child. Now, memory is unreliable and anecdata isn’t to be believed 😉
But this is a blog and I write about feelings, personal history, opinion, and other fluff. 😁
Maybe this is too broad a question, but I wonder what our culture would look like, if kids who were like me – curious, empathic, and frankly leaning towards the femme – didn’t learn to mask who they were?
It’s something that I’ve heard numerous times – burying the truth, if you will – on podcasts where queer people talk about their lives. I hear it in the stories from folk at Chams and I read it in the blogs & comments you create. That a lot of us spend time hiding, being told no by folk who don’t get it, and eventually….. awesomely, somehow we push through the barriers, out through the cracks, and to be who we need to be.
I hope that our son, Child 2.0, never needs to hide. That he can be who he needs to be. That he knows he is loved. I hope that for the next generation of queer kids.
L x
Hmm, that shapewear sounds less like a poorly shaped faja you couldn’t fill properly so much as a poorly filled fajita.
The UK’s politics since 2015, or even since Tony Blair, have been a personality show and there are deep-set problems with a creaking constitution and crippling corruption that are not being addressed, just hidden behind a theatre of actions against trans people, would-be immigrants and the like. I think Child 2.0 won’t have an easy life as a trans person but (and NB this is not a victimhood contest) the knives are out more for MtF trans people as they are seen as betraying the masculinising that always comes with right-wing politics. Just about all the parties are now wedded to the xenophobic right and merely swapping goons at no 10 won’t change things. Address Britain’s atrocious political stagnation and the sheer horribleness of politicians and public trans bashing will reduce as a matter of course.
Glad Fridays are a day to look forward to. Have a good weekend.
Sue xx
Are people from South America significantly curvier than we simple British dumplings? 🙂 I can understand the corset part being very firm, bit the thigh shorts? I think my PJs were a slimmer fit – and they’re deliberately loose! 😁
Sadly, Sue, I feel you are not wrong about the procession of clowns and fools. It should not be like this.
Child 2.0 is a little below average height, but his face & body are changing. I doubt he’ll have issues day to day, thankfully.
Conversely, women who don’t fit that narrow “western cis/het ideal” – whatever that is 🙄 – can forward to further challenges and rudery from the great unwashed.
I think it’s going to have to get worse before it gets better.
Still, it’s the weekend; so doggo walks, a café breakfast, and seeing the Jones Massive. Hope it cools down for you soon.
Ugh shapeware can be the worst! However your experience is the same as mine, some work, some don’t. Thus for most, when they ask for my recommendation of what will work for them, I tell them to just go try on as many different brands and types that you can. Then if you’re lucky maybe one or two will fit. And this goes for all humans in my opinion. Take Care Lynn!
Hi Kelly and welcome in 👋 Yes, it feels a bit of a “you just need to be lucky” shopping experience. Not ideal if the options are limited or you’re pinched for time. But, so it goes! First world problems eh? 😉
I have been contemplating some chub rubs from Snag. I love the different colours.
The EHRC advice or guidance, is causing a lot of fear, and rightly so. I’ve read comments from some men (usually right wing thugs), that they won’t tolerate blokes in dresses in the Gents and will eject them. And I saw a similar comment from a woman about both trans women and trans men in the Ladies. If I get challenged in the Ladies, I’ll just smile sweetly and ignore them. After all the Police are not exactly going to be interested in attending these incidents. They can barely be bothered to turn out for the crimes they’re supposed to.
I found your thoughts about growing up and living with having to hide our true selves, to be very poignant. And your wishes for the future generations to be full of hope.
They – Snag – do indeed have a fab set of colours for the shorts. I might have a discount code if that would help you out.
TBH, I’ve some loose bloke shorts and cropped trousers, where neither provide quite the right amount of protection; so chub rub shorts it is then!
I think you’re right about the EHRC thing and fear. A cynic might argue – moi? 😉 – that that is the point. To spread uncertainty – or ignorance & fear, to quote an old RPG game – which keeps trans and gender nonconforming folk away.
As with the dark days of Section 28, there are those with power, influence, and money, who detest queer people and want us hidden or worse.
Let’s hope that despite the Useful Idiots and thugs, the British sense of kindness and letting folk be, will win out in the end.
I guess you have to hope. Better than to despair, that’s for sure. As to future generations, if the adults our children and their friends have become, if you’re a political party or a business that doesn’t support queer people, you are toast.