What is YATGB and why am I blogging? I started a blog back in 2005 so I could get some ideas out of my head, explore things a little, and maybe, hear from others who are walking a similar path. In 2019 I moved to this site, bringing over all the weekly posts.
Those ‘others’ are the transgender community. People who’s birth gender doesn’t quite align with their true self. Off we go on our proverbial journey through identity, trying to find something that fits.
Some of us transition, yes, and some of us don’t. I joke that I’m a part timer, but if I had to pick a label, genderfluid (or maybe bi-gender?) would work. What dors that mean? Well, I’ve interests and behaviours from along the gender spectrum and to stay okay, I need to express all of them. That’s the catch. I don’t fit into the regular view of male and my heart tells me I’m somewhere in the middle, not quite one or the other.
I’ve tried to be honest about balancing my needs with that of my dear partner (the Lovely Mrs J), our two awesome children (they don’t know), and life in general (I’m not out at work). I think there’s a myth that trans people plough through things and it’s all about them. You might say the same for folk who have a sincere love for running, football, soaps, painting, gaming, etc. People are complicated, and I think we need to be careful of our biases when trying to understand others. Being trans is an aspect, it’s not all a person is.
I’ve written about trying to understand myself as someone somewhere on the Trans spectrum. I’ve written about depression and the love and support that got me through. That was waaay back in the late 2000s and reading those posts feel a world away. Mental health seems to be a growing issue for people in general and part of me sharing how I got on, was to normalise things. Listening to others share their story about pushing back against the darker thoughts, that gave me hope. Just as with the Trans stuff, like meeting people, going outside, if I can do it, so can you dear reader.
But, mostly I’ve written about life somewhere in the middle: not quite a ‘proper bloke’ in my mind; certainly physically a man; the mental disquiet that can bring; then behaviours, thoughts, and interests that wouldn’t seem unusual for a woman. You might see a This Week’s Outfit post when I’ve managed to visit our local transgender social and support group, Nottingham Chameleons (they’re a lovely bunch of people).
Being raised male and having to learn (or fumble) my way through female style has been quite the learning curve. In fact, presenting as a man 99% of the time and seeing into the unusually closed off world of a woman’s experience – or maybe a trans women’s? – is eye-opening.
Does any of the above make me an authority or an expert? No, I’m just someone trying to make the best of things and if folk are interested, I’ll listen to their questions and share what I know. That’s certainly been the approach I’ve taken in the outreach or trans awareness sessions I’ve done. If you are interested in such a session, do get in touch. Using software to run such talks helps maximize attendance, reduce costs, and improve flexibility around time. 👍 If you’re interested in collaborating on something, I’m open to offers.
Thanks for reading and there’s a contact form off the menu, if you want to get in touch.