Serendipity, I guess

Hi,

As I write this, I’m sat on the dog sofa* enjoying the cooling breeze from the garden. No bifold doors as we’re old school. The sun is mostly behind the high trees from the neighbour uphill, so it’s an absolute joy to enjoy the greenery, birdsong, and slow time.

( * If you have hounds, technically all sofas become dog sofas 😉 )

Under one of the hedges, a blackbird is flicking the fallen leaves around, looking for insects. I do need to get around to trimming the brambles that have built up, but that’s not a hot weather job. I’ll absolutely need some sturdy protection against those thorns.

The washing is already done and hung up in the conservatory, while the dishwasher burbles & swishes the pots clean. It’s all rather relaxing and a rather fab way to start off the day.

The Ever Lovely Mrs J is working from home as it’s too hot for her at work. I have a suspicion we will all pop out to the nearby services for coffee & toasties. Meanwhile, the doggos will relax in the A/C of the shop.

Mind health

Maybe a bit of a stumble on wordage and mouth feel, but bear with 🙂 Child 2.0 booked an appointment with disability support around his needs at university. I sat in of there were any technical issues or extra information required.

The gent who helped us – we’ll come to that in a mo – was incredibly helpful, wise, and kind. He had a background of coaching and specialised in neurodiversity as well.

It was a long video call – in a good way – and Child 2.0 was really pleased with the outcome and what he learned along the way.

I had a slight dampening of the eyeballs 😉 at one point, as the specialist covered ADHD/ADD behaviours in younger folk, emotional reactions, and coping mechanisms.

Sigh. I felt seen and understood ♥️ – and this wasn’t an appointment for me nor about me. Serendipity, I guess. Ah, there’s today’s title 🙂

I would say the coach’s words were about growing up, study, and that’s a long shadow for us humans. The brain is still developing into our twenties and we continue to learn & change as we age. He mentioned sleep issues and “the brain that won’t still”, leading to creativity late on. That and the need to distract to relax or to comfort oneself after emotional events.

His examples of how ADHD affects emotional reactions felt like the bit of the puzzle I’d missed. Or more accurately, the connection I couldn’t make on my own and it stitched so many experiences together. Oh, so maybe I’m not a bad kid or stroppy… I was just reacting in a way that felt, well, normal. “Normal” -or perhaps natural? 🤔 – even if I knew that’s not what other people did. Ah, slight moments of shame. See also retreating into tinkering with gadgets – software and creative writing in my case – to cope.

But, I have somehow learned “I am not my emotions” and I think things are less dramatic nowadays. I still put my foot in it and say the wrong thing, despite the intent coming from kindness. Ah, what a fiasco 😉

Me aside, I could tell Child 2.0 was very engaged and he said later, that so much of the coaches comments on autism rang true for him. I’ll not say more as that’s his story and private to him.

Oh, and here’s a question for you: how much do you have an inner monologue and/or visualisation? Not judging, just curious.

Family

Due to a lucky landing on time off and Wee Man’s shifts, we met up earlier in the week for a chat. I also had his birthday gifts as he’s now into his early twenties. He’s an amazing & kind young man ♥️ We had a good ‘dad & lad’ natter over a stroll and, of course, a late breakfast.

Luckily it was early on, but it was too hot by 10ish. I gave him a lift into town, so he didn’t have to face the free sauna that you get on a bus ride.

I think he said it was 40 in the bus the other day. We really need to get on top of net zero and sort climate change out.

Oh, that reminds me, Nottinghamshire is due to get a massive new solar farm if planning goes through. There’s also an announcement to put EV charging in more of the car parks in Bridgford, so that’ll help. Now, if we could get some more trees in, and maybe some vines overhead of the paths; we’d be winning….. and a lot cooler.

Giving the mask a rest

We’ve had a second bout of very hot weather this week. You can tell it’s hot because I’m up around 6AM to get the dogs walked. I am very much a night person and not one for mornings.

As the heat built up in the peak of the day, the Ever Lovely Mrs J said “You’re not having a lot of luck with the weather for Thursdays”. She’s not wrong, bless her!

Now, as much as smooth pins and tidy brows help keep the Dysphoria Beast away 🙏, to escape the feelings of “stuck as him”, that’s something else.

Funny, in the darker days before I learned what internalised transphobia was, I would often think of it all as some type of addiction.

Escaping that hurtful nonsense brought clarity and I don’t think like that now. I guess it’s more a fancy night out is partly a break from the discomfort. That being able to be all of who I am, is like cool, fresh air; not the slow ratchet of climbing staleness that ‘too much him’ begins. That I can put down the mask and just be.

Thursday

Given the heat and the time, I wondered if Chams would be another ‘just go in bloke mode again’. A cool shower certainly helped, although the process of packing and sorting the recycling, made me absolutely lathered. Cue a second refresh!

With the car’s AC on full whack – it was registering 35C at half six 🥵 – I headed off to Chams HQ. Now, luck would have it that the traffic was in a good mood, and as the Centre had been used that day, the AC had kept the worst of the heat away.

I had packed… flexibly. Which is a more “Oh, Lynn’s got this” vibe than I overpacked ‘cos I didn’t know what to do 😉

It was too warm for my summer maxi dress from Unfolded, so that’ll have to wait for another day. Instead I went with a scrappy vest, matching bra, and an old new-to-me flared skirt.

I think I’d have been better off with my old wedges as the new barely there nude heels from Vinted didn’t survive the night. Minor rips on the material by the toes. Okay, lessons learned on no more from that brand and an extra item for the charity shop.

As to make-up, I went with a Bare Minerals powder foundation – although that suggests it was thicker than that, and it certainly isn’t – to give me some light cover. I skipped on eyeliner as my lip pencil gilded on a little too easily 🙂

I was feeling the warmth, but I was not ‘glowing’ my slap off. The changing room doesn’t have an AC feed from the main room, so I hoped that if I was mostly okay here, the main room would be fine. Thankfully, it was.

At the the evening itself, Anne, plus Isobel & Charlotte – possibly Sally as well – were first to arrive. We had a catch up as with a lot of Chams things are interrupted by home, holiday, work, and stuff. Still, I think that the good thing about the regularity of the meetings, is that there’s always another time.

Diane had treated herself to a makeover and was looking amazing. I think she went to Femmeside Studio down in Syston. She did share two of the photos from the event, and I felt she looked amazing. Talking of which, Val continues her run of pretty summer dresses. Look out, there’s a compliment, Mrs 😉

We also had three new folk attend. They were all feeling very nervous and we did our best to give them just the right amount of chat & support. It’s always lovely to meet be people, and I hope they enjoyed their time at the group.

We did have a slight technical issue as I’ve changed phones. Now, all my apps are set up but I didn’t know where the NFC connector was. For the non-geeks, that’s the widget that let’s you use your phone for contactless payment. Thankfully, I remembered that having mobile data on can interfere with it. So, a quick reconnect and bingo, I found take the attendance fees for the group.

On that note, Val found about fifty quid in notes and coins in the cupboard. We used to keep that float for change, back when we were cash based. That’s been years, so I’ve transferred money to cover, kept the cash, and that’s avoided faffing about at the bank. Not that there’s one near us anymore.

Talking of the new phone, I decided to leave the old camera behind and try the new handset out.

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That’s it for this week. I hope you’re managing to stay cool and enjoy the summer as best you can.

L x