The Tide

Is it Sunday morning or Saturday night? It’s certainly later that Friday night and the clockwork post. Tick tock. Friday came…. and went.

A scene plays out in my head. I feel the sea of emotions rise and swell, rolling me, and I try to steady my course. It is dark and while I can feel the wind and the spray, proverbially speaking, the big waves, remain lost in the gloom of what might be.

I will not go overboard and I will not drown. I am not lost at sea, but…. I am tired. Tired of holding the wheel. Tired of the same course each week give or take. I need to get out of this storm. Get out of these cold clothes. What I need is to find a refuge. To disembark and walk the world as the other part of me. To breathe cool air and not gasp.

Water lashes the cabin and there is no sign of land. I know there will be. Perhaps in another month. I just need to hold things together and ride the waves. They will pass, I tell myself.

I give a knowing look to the scene in my head. They will pass It is the only thing round here that does. 😉

L x

4 Comments

  1. Yes the storms are threatening. They are not localised squalls and you are not the only desperate skipper lashed to the wheel with the wheelhouse awash.
    Look out. Thousands of other craft stretch to the horizon, their captains frustrated and exhausted and wanting to walk the world again as they used.
    Their world of employment,education, financial security, emotional warmth, securely housed, or dressed as they need to dress, no longer life as once known. Each dreading what the tempest will bring.
    No jokes here about dragging yourself up on deck. No, this is serious. But each of us is, by continuing to chart a safe course, continuing to sail a passage away from reefs and thundering waves is a beacon to the rest; to vessels around. It can be done. It must be done. It will in time be done.
    We will remain at the wheel with no need to hoist the yellow flag of contageon as we maintain our rage against the raging storm.
    And at the appropriate time when the snap of the ship’s radio advises the storm is abating, that both hemispheres have smooth waters and the despatched doves return to the masts to proclaim that land is once again safe, we will all walk as we wish as our complete selves. May the day come soon. May we keep lookout for each other until that time.
    Geraldine

  2. Lynn, I feel your pain…………. I’ve been there too many times. The problem is when you can’t see light at the end of the tunnel the feeling of hopelessness can set in. But it will end, you will get out there into the fresh air, as yourself, as Lynn. The sun is shining here, it’s a new day, and in a new day there is always fresh hope, a fresh start. Soon Lynn you will be there in the sunshine, soon…………………..

  3. > Is it Sunday morning or Saturday night?

    Well to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, i kind of lost track myself. So you gotta ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well do ya, Lynn? 🙂

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