So long 2024

Hello dear reader,

Did you have a good festive break? I hope so. If not, I’ll cross my fingers for some good luck to come your way.

Theme

If I had to pick a word to describe 2024, I think it would be steady. Yes, there’s been a few ups and downs across the year, but it would be dull otherwise 🙂

On positive view, the Ever Lovely Mrs J’s health remains, well, steady – certainly no worse. While her conditions will not magically fix themselves, we had some good news a few months back, saying that one thing – and therefore one risk – was off the list.

Wee Man seems more settled outside of education, bless him. We’ve been helping him financially as he’s not entitled to any benefits from the government. Feel free to add your own eye roll to that 🙄 But, he’s doing his best to gain work experience and both his partner plus us are helping him as we can. He seems brighter in himself as well, so progress on the mental health front, bless him.

Child 2.0 is now about halfway through their first year of sixth form. They’ve already been on a university visit, which kinda threw me a little. Wait, they’re a year or so from moving out? But…! He’s also learning to drive and I think we’re in the best place we can around his transition. His passport, National Insurance, and school records are all sorted. Just the NHS details to pick up on. Mind you, it’s going to be a while before he sees anyone on that front.

Talking of transition, the word steady could also be applied to the lack of progress under the new government. As much as we seen to have escaped the tedious grandstanding, angertainment, and the pretending-to-do-but-not-actually-doing of the last lot, I am disappointed in the lack of vision, empathy, and progress I expected to see with a more sensible set of folk at the helm. Perhaps, as Abigail Thorn suggests in Transwrites.world, trans folk are not going to get what they need from the current system. With that in mind, I wonder what Child 2.0 will do as they reach 18 and their determination continues.

Chams

On a good note, Chams continues to bloom and we’ve welcomed numerous new folk from near and far. We’ve seen some old friends pop in to visit, which was really great – not just to see them again, but to hear that they’re getting on well and living.

The local hosting company were kind enough to upgrade our forum software. It’s something I’ve muddled through before, but I’m no Linux admin and as such, it was both touch-and-go plus scary, when I did it last. Thankfully, said firm did the update in less than an hour and with no issues. I guess a lot of things are easier when you know what you’re doing! 😁 I did, of course, provide snacks as a thank you because one good deed etc 🙏

A big thank you to those at Chams who help sort out the catering (tea, milk, biccies,etc); welcoming new folk; keeping the forum ticking over; and helping with the admin (attendance sheets, photos, etc) ❤️

There’s not been much on the outreach front this year, but maybe that’s a good thing. What I mean is, folk are getting their collective heads around things and as such, there’s less need for Chams to ‘go on the road’, so to speak.

Yours Truly

Which, given all the above leaves one topic left in this section: me 🙂

If I think back to years before, I feel I’m in a better place now than then.

After working through some issues with the support and wisdom of the counsellor, I’ve managed to stay off the anti-anxiety meds since the summer. In fact, it’s been a very long time since I had a panic attack, and I can only report that as a good thing! 😁

I think it was around springtime when the penny dropped and a friend’s insight came back to mind. Andie had been kind enough to say that they’d spotted a pattern of feeling okay in autumn and winter. Late spring being iffy, and then the August/September meltdown that, well, flattened me (my words).

With the thoughts of a friend in mind, I dug out my spiritual Big Girl Pants and had a heart to heart chat with the Ever Lovely Mrs J. Not seeking permission, but checking she was okay about me sporting smooth pins all year.

Anyhoo, the conversation was along the lines of not wanting to cause upset and embarrassment, rather than seeking permission. Does that make sense?

As ever, the Ever Lovely Mrs J continues her wisdom and wifey loveliness. We talked about how it might help, how most of my leg hair has gone through age, and we laughed that our eyesight is such, we’d probably not notice. True 😁

I think having my pins and arms smooth all year has really helped. Writing it makes me think I’m being a twit, but in a you-wouldn’t-say-that-to-a-friend vibe: A) if it helps, it helps, so don’t overthink it; and B) I think that’s the old trap of thinking your body and mind are two different things, hint: they’re not.

So, I am grateful for not having to return to a Summer Wookie disguise and stay as I feel my best all year. That and the kindness from my lovely wifey and the wisdom from a friend 🩷

Getting out

I’ve had the good fortune to get out & about a few times this year.

One event was Pride which while very much in Richard mode, that was an amazing experience! I was glad to be able to make it and just take in the experience. Big up the supportive parent massive! ✊🫂🩷

In terms of ‘holidays from him’, I didn’t go without this year and that’s quite the gift. Looking through my photos of seems there was a trip to Leicester, so has it only been one? I find that surprising but once it’s better than nothing! Unfortunately, I couldn’t quite get diaries to align, so Val and I could get a day out. Fingers crossed for next year! 🤞

I also had the pleasure of catching up with an old friend, Sue, who was having a tour of the Old Country. Coffee, cake, and a good chat FTW 🩷

Moments & Memories

For me, part of taking a snap is to help me remember what was going on and help defrost my aging memory. So, he’s a cycle through the image bank with what went well.

From top left and along (note, image should be clickable to expand. Useful, if – like me – your eyesight is going! 😜)

1. Cleaning up – a spot of fun (!!) in needing to vacuum after a visit from Nicola of Wigeroo.
2. Blue dress – This number felt a bit short on the night, but I’m glad I’ve kept the dress. I think this was the last of my purchases from Roman. As much as I love some of their styles, the fit isn’t made for folk of my height.
3. Mirror mirror – Having to find my spiritual Big Girl Pants, get ready on time, and make my way into the world. It had been a while, so I was somewhat nervous. Still, if you don’t push yourself now and then, you’ll not get a chance
4. Spring greens – I think this was in April and it’s a old number (as is the dress & shoes 😁) but I felt happy in both.
5. Dotty in Red – A red dress I picked up in the sales. Shoes via Vinted which helps recycle and satisify my footwear habit!
6. Office red – Modern and/or 50s cut to this dress. That and a return to my old ‘hair’. Slight ‘foundation’ issues which prompted me to check my shade in Boots a bit later. Not only had I got the wrong colour but also the wrong type for my skin. Ah, every day’s a school day!
7. Pinko Subversive – jumper and boots combo due to colder weather! A shift back to my new hair, having experimented with wet n set foam rollers. Luckily, the curl held very nicely in this new ‘do.
8. Xmas Gift – The last one from the year and one I feel happy in. If it was the party, the company, the outfit, and/or the luck of getting my make-up right; this photo feels quite me. Given my leaning towards being overly self critical, maybe I should take this as a win 😉

YATGB’s posts

A look at the popular posts for this year are as follows. TBH, I just write what interests me and it’s always a surprise to see what posts folk find interesting.

• Dress Size Roulette
• Notts Pride 2024
• A holiday from him
• That’s so you…
• Low battery but high spirits
• A week of living undangerously
• Living through it
• Blue, white, & pink without the blues
• Ladies who latte – meeting up with Sue & Emma.
• One race. One planet

Next Year?

I’m not really one for resolutions. Mainly as I feel that if something is important to you, why wait. Maybe that’s the as-yet-undiagnosed ADHD talking though. 😉

So, post-Christmas, I’ll be trying to eat more healthily again and avoid too much cake/bread. It wasn’t too hard last time and I think it helped make a difference to my tum quite quickly.

The other thing is to try and bend with the wind – no, not in a farty way! 😉 – but more ‘go with the flow’ and try to be calmer. So, don’t get wound up and try not to worry about things. See diagram 😁

In terms of headspace, I’ll be trying to look towards Positive.News and other (but fact checked) sources, rather than the doomscrolling. Indeed, perhaps trying to keep posting positive trans news as well would be a good thing. I’ve been doing that in Chams’ Forum for a bit. Below is a handful of the items that have caught my eye over the year.

• What do the Trans community need most right now? Abigail Thorn & Freddy McConnell | Pod Save The UK
• Will Ferrell’s Road Trip Movie With His Trans Best Friend Will Save Lives
• Why Are “Gender Critical” Activists So Fond of Gametes?
• World’s Largest Psych Association Passes Policy Supporting Trans Youth Care By Massive Margin
• ‘I was having a much better time as a girl in that parallel life’: how an app sparked a late-life gender transition
• Fact Check: No, A New Study Does Not Show “Being Trans Is Just A Phase”
• David Tennant annihilates anti-trans bigots: ‘F**k off and let people be’
• “No LGB without the T”: Nadia Whittome gives powerful trans equality speech in Parliament
• A touching video of an old man tearfully waving a Pride flag has gone viral. Here’s why.
• BMA to undertake an evaluation of the Cass Review on gender identity services for children and young people

Signing off

Thank you to those of you who’ve been kind enough to leave comments and interact with the YATGB over this year. It’s meant a lot. Likewise to those of you who get in touch off-camera, so to speak, and sharing what you’ve been up to.

May I wish you the best of health and luck for the new year.

Stay fabulous!
Lynn
💖