That’s so you…

Hi,

Happy long weekend with chocolate event UK readers 😉

Or, at Chez Jones, just the long weekend, as we – okay, I – am equally disorganised and uninterested in purchasing Easter eggs.

Therapy

No, not the rather good metal outfit – seeing as I’m missing the question mark – but time with the counsellor last week.

I think the best way I can describe the benefits, is that the conversations around the complexity of the mess in my head (that’s with a knowing look to camera 😉), have helped. If I was a clever person, I’d probably mention some intersectionality, but I’m not, so we’ll move on 🙂

So, helped in that a shared look at the situations – anxiety, family life, caring, transness, body issues, work/life balance, and guilt – has let me look at things differently. Partly on making new connections around self-care and healthy choices, but also in begging able to, well, silly as this might sound: be brave around my needs.

I feel the need to point out that the above list aren’t problems or issues; they’re instances in which I sometimes struggle. There are no villains of the piece – unless you count the mythical anxiety goblin, but perhaps that’s a metaphorical creature that needs compassion, not fighting.

With the latter there’s been moments to reflect on I am not just my thoughts and this happened, but I’m safe. I feel a bit of a fraud saying these things, but again, I would not say that to a friend, so I need to work on that for myself. Likewise, forgiveness around perceived failings and self criticism when I was younger. I would not expect my kids to magically know how to behave or be flawless, yet, somehow I carry that unhelpful baggage with me.

Maybe it’s time to gently push that suitcase into the loft, and let the spiders make use of it. 🙂

I think we may be coming up to the last session soon, but it’s been incredibly valuable and while I think such therapy doesn’t cure you, it does help you cope and make better choices.

Thursday night out

Another busy evening and great to see so many folk at the group again. I had left packing a little bit late, but a quick look through the wardrobe brought out some old favourites, so in the bag they went.

Nicola from Wigeroo visited, bringing along her hair expertise and a fine collection of wigs & hairpieces for folk to try. We’ll come back to that in a bit 🩷 Oh, if you are in the Nottinghamshire/Leicestershire area, do check out the Wigeroo website and services.

Jayne had a quick restyle on her existing ‘do, and I thought that looked fab. I spotted Ann buying a new number, and Debbie trying on a few as well. A good night for the group plus supporting a local business and friend of the group too. What’s not to like?

Just for fun, I did try on a spiky/punky chopped blonde wig. Understandably, I got good natured teasing of Toyah references and Bowie as the Goblin King 😁 Well, at least both performers are very cool – unlike how I looked in the ‘do. 🙂

Trans Joy

I’ve had a number of wigs over the years, and like times out, some are okay, some are awesome, and a rare few didn’t quite work as I’d hoped. That’s my own fault and risking a purchase, rather than taking it steady. Still, lessons learned. Plus, with a wig, it’s easy to switch back and no waiting for your hair to grow back. That and you can always wash it and regift.

Ignoring the tiny handful of not-quite-rights, there’s been times when I’ve put on a new number, and felt that’s me. My current number – a synthetic bob with highlights – just seemed, well, perfect for me, and so much so, that finding a new one has been a tall order. Or, as business speak seems to be these days: a big ask. 🙂

So, imagine my delight when Nicola presented a chestnut number, with a soft curl and – say the luxury softly! 🤫 – a human hair construction. Cue a quick try on and the feeling of, ooo, this is very nice… Then, when everyone had had there discussions, help, and purchases, Nicola was kind enough to restyle the hair to make it just right for me.

Dial that ooo, this is very nice… to oh, wow. Now I feel very special and add a dab of I hope the mascara is waterproof. Yeah, I’d say that went up to eleven out of ten. BTW, if you’re thinking I’m looking a little windswept: helping Nic and Pat reload the car, did, -ahem- expose me to the beautiful English Spring weather of a howling wind and lashing of rain 😁

Closing up

With our ally packed up and gone, there was a time to sit down and mingle a bit. Given the number of folk in the room, people had buddied up, and conversation was going well in wee groups.

I did get chance to say more than just hello to our latest new visitor. A note of thanks to Debbie, Angela, and Ann for providing just the right amount of welcome and kindness. Visiting a new group can be nerve-wracking, but hopefully, with a gentle hello, tea, and good conversation, things work out for the best.

Come the end of the night, it was time to do the pots, shuffle the tables back, and take photos for those who wanted them.

After last week in terms of feeling a little too warm, I was glad of being able to back in sheers and a cute skirt. Being able to dress and look as you feel, well, that’s quite a gift, IMO. Something that I’m grateful for and I’m hoping well keep the dysphoria demons away over summer. One can but hope 🤞

Given I’d brought the Hoover up – or more accurately, Henry – to tidy up the hair trimmings: well, if there’s a prop and a chance for some good natured fooling around, why not?

Altogether now: “I want to break free….” 😁 Diane suggested I put my foot on Henry, but I feel quite self conscious posting that, so you’ll have to imagine via this snap instead. Thanks to Val for the photos, and keeping the camera steady during laughing 🙂

Yes, appliance experts, I did work out the vacuum works best when plugged in *and* switched on 😉 I should also point out that I’ve managed to achieve two cliché KPIs: trans person taking a photo, and man writing about cleaning 😉 There, and I didn’t even mentioned the housework done today 😁 Probably because there was no photo and I did it in drab clothes 🙂

L x

PS: Happy Trans Day of Visibility on 31st March 🏳️‍⚧️

PPS: Due to a transport issue, I had to take an attendee back to their care home again. Luckily, the Home Manager rang and I was able to have a quick, but kind word. It seems there’s been some miscommunication with the local taxi firm, and I’m hoping they can help the person ensure they have transport out and back before leaving. I’ve no issues around emergency help. The catch is if I’m not about, there won’t be others going that was and safety is a concern for women out at night. Oh a cheeky note, I couldn’t hang up the borrowed phone, and I heard the manager say “what a nice bloke” which felt very kind.