Hi,
Well, it’s been a week hasn’t it. I’m not quite sure where to start. I’m not even sure I should start, but I feel I would be ignoring the goose-stepping bigotophant in the room. Yes, it is a funny colour – sort of an orange gammon. Yeah, it says really weird stuff too.
How we forget
“Look after each other, don’t have hate in your hearts. Say prayers for my baby girl,”
Sinead, parent of Grace O’Malley-Kumar
“Please hold no hate that relates to any colour, sex or religion,”
Emma, parent of Barney Webber
Words spoken by the parents of Grace and Barney, two students attacked and murdered in the summer of 2023. An attack that took the life of father and grandfather, Ian Coates.
Little more than a year later and Nottingham, usually a progressive and accepting city, had racists attempting to protest. Thankfully, not to the horrifying scenes that have blighted communities in many cities.
I wonder, as I often do, what would those who seek to intimidate, abuse, and bully; feel, if they and their loved ones were the ones having to hide from a mob of thugs? To know that to go outside was a risk that might leave you bloody, or worse.
I don’t feel the fear of being outside – or more accurately, I don’t if I appear as a middle class straight white man. I have been afraid while stepping out in female garb, though. Will I be targeted for being seen as a woman or targeted for being trans?
The mob, though, are perhaps the trampling boots of this monster. A spiteful creature built on the hateful rhetoric of slimy chancers, blowhard politicrits (yes, a B52’s reference), and dying media. The latter ‘rage farming’ for clicks and sales.
The useful idiots will have their collars felt and they will do time. Their communities will not improve, jobs will be lost, families will have an empty seat at the table. Meanwhile, the ‘men of the people’ will rest easy in their mansions, limos, and comment afar from sunny climes, growing rich as talking heads and after dinner speeches.
Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated? 😉
If you’re into conspiracies, maybe you need to be looking at who stands to gain from feeding your hatred, who takes the fall, and funny how the instigators are getting richer, and you’ve got feck all.
Maybe it’s easy for me to write this, flat out on my woke, flexitarian, transgender middle class arse, but it’s taken a while to get here. Mrs J and I were skint when we got together. Jobs were scare and rents where high. We struggled to make ends meet and the flat we lived in was cold and it leaked. Not sure I’ll refer forget finding ice in the loo, one morning. 🥶
I’m not going to play the card of “we worked hard and that’s why we are here.”. We had help – from the state, from parents, from kind people – and in return we tried to help others too, where we could. It ain’t easy working and it can feel like the odds are stacked against you. But, please, it’s those at the top hoarding the money, not us schmoes slogging on minimum wage. We are one race. With one planet. Immigrants aren’t the threat; it’s those building empires and dodging tax that’s breaking things: the climate, justice, twisting ‘debates*’ with their platform, and the economy (low tax, low workers’ rights, etc).
( * I exist as a Trans person. My existence and validity as a person is not up for discussion. )
I’ll step off my soapbox now 🙂
Kindness is the new punk
On the way back from walking the doggos, I had to wait for the traffic to clear. A van was holding things up, hazard lights on, and the engine smelled hot.
The driver got out, opened the bonnet to take a look, and it seemed clear he wasn’t going anywhere soon. I asked if he needed any help and in general, I get a note of thanks, and the driver is on the phone to their roadside recovery firm.
This time, though, the chap took me up on the offer as there’s no garages open near us and he needed to be elsewhere to meet his brother. Tick tock, tick tock of modern life.
I gave him a bottle of oil for emergencies, he topped up the coolant as a fingers crossed exercise, and I provided a cleaned out 5L bottle just in case things got warm further down the road.
Why am I writing this? Because offering help is the right thing to do. Mrs J has been sat in her car, waiting for a repair team, and no one offered help. I’ve stood by the roadside with a broken motorbike, in pre mobile days, and how glad I was, when a friendly motorist stopped to check I was okay.
So, you pay it forward.
As ever, I take the route of do you want any help? Do you need anything? Drink, food, etc? That and ‘you tell me if you want something’, ‘cos I’m not here to tell folk what to do.
As we got talking and looking in the van’s bonnet (“hood” to you Americans 😉), his teens got out and were getting a bit bored and antsy. Yeah, been there too; as a kid and as a parent. It ain’t great either way! 😁
But, a check on ‘is it safe to do blah in an emergency?’ on-line settled his worries, and it wasn’t long before he’d got the vehicle running, and off they went.
Said gent waved cheerfully out of the window as he set off. He was a Muslim chap given his fab beard and language. I mention this because we’re just two people, just trying to get through life, and life is always better with kindness. He had family with him, he needed to be somewhere, and his wheels were messing him about. Yeah, I feel you pain, fellow dad. I hope you got to where you needed to be 🩷 I hope that you were reminded that strangers can be nice and sometimes the world isn’t such a bad place.
Thursday
With cooler weather, I dared to hope that a fancy night out may be on the cards. I don’t know if I’d been overdoing it, as by 4pm, all I really wanted was a long sleep.
But, a cup of tea and a hot shower got shit of some of the funk and I headed off to Chams.
I had two skirts from Vinted to try and an emergency dress, just in case the separates didn’t quite work. No Val, this week, to assist with fashion advice. So, thank you to Ann & Izzy for your guidance and support.
One skirt was a 16 and a little close to snug. The other was an 18 and needed clipping in to fit. Ah, as ever, I’m somewhere in-between 😉
While getting changed, I was slightly surprised to hear a voice from the past: Allison decided to pop by! 🩷 This is photo attempt No 4 – we spent a few laughing and missing the shot.
We were soon nattering away while I applied the cement. I guess not much has changed, given that’s what we used to do back in the day! 🙂 Twas good to see you, Mrs. 🤗
The evening was quite busy and we ran out of chairs for the second week in a row. Luckily we have spares in the changing room.
We had a problem (again) with the payment machine and I’ve spent most of Friday emailing the support team. Grumble grumble. The company seems to want an inordinate amount of paperwork and I’m annoyed they just cut off the service without warning. I’m now looking at an alternative and our bank have been incredibly understanding and accepting about our needs as a Trans group.
The evening went by pretty quickly and, as ever, I felt glad I’d gone and had the good fortune to catch up with friends old and new. Oh, and we had another two new folk, and they seemed to enjoy themselves. So good to see people relax and be themselves.
L x
It’s good to help. Although for me it’s mostly being asked to get things down from high shelves in shops, or working out when the next bus to somewhere is due. On the bus to work last week I did overhear someone ask the bus driver where the stop for my workplace was, so assuming they were going for an interview I walked up with them and booked them in at the gatehouse. (New starter at the canteen.)
Like the new skirt.
To coin a phrase: commit random act of kindness 🩷 Top stuff in helping the person at the gatehouse. Interviews and travel can be quite stressful.
Thanks for the kind words about the skirt. Needs a bit of taking in or some elastic threading. Luckily, Alison was able to clip it at the side.
I was the last one to use sumup, how strange! The skirt is lovely, really like it
You didn’t break it, Sally. Please don’t think that! 🙂 Via the email between Chams and SumUp, I think we reached a trigger point on how much we can take in, without completing the ID checks that they didn’t tell us about. Hence, the midway lockout.
I’ve posted in the Chams’ forum to see if folk are happy to proceed with trying Tyl. So far, two folk have said yes.
Given Tyl is an app, there should be less faffing about with the card reader, but you can still use a card or smartphone to pay.
Oh, thank you for the kind words about the skirt. New to me via Vinted. May I say you looked fabulous on Thursday in the dress and trainers.
Trying to be modern and down with the kids
Ha ha! 😁 Mums, yes – and in a stylish way, as we don’t do punching down at YATGB 🙂
Rights is always an interesting question, who has the right to xyz when resources are limited, is the majority correct, is the current situation correct etc etc.
Its to easy to say that we should all be equal when some clever political type explains to the masses we have X knee operations for the cost of one gender reassignment treatment
BTW my answer is ‘I don’t know’ and unless your name is something Solomon, most other people don’t know the answer either
Rights, as I understand my political theory, isn’t a question: it’s an answer.
We can afford lots of things – rather than contrast medical procedures, I find it helpful to contrast things like Nuclear deterrant (which we can’t fire independently, as per the last time we tried to test one) and the NHS – one is ten times the cost per year of the other – and we pussy-foot around trying to balance one person’s health with another – it is a strange alchemy.
Equally, the cost of refugees is a drop in the ocean compared to what tax is dodged by large corporations.
Such economic choices suggest much about priorities and the comparisons of medical treatment or complaints about costs of housing those with nothing are revealed as the divisive tactics they are. As I say, and repeat: rights are not a question, they are an answer.
Re housing: how much did the last government say it would cost to ship someone to Rwanda? If we’d spent that money on affordable social housing for all in the UK, how might things be different?
I would say be wary of arguments that pit one community against another. I would ask: who is asking that question and why do we think it’s important?
Perhaps the real questions are – and coming to Joanna’s point about tax dodging – why are we short of resources? What are the blockers to progress?
Daily Wail readers and gammons might be upset to read that Brexit has both increased our need to have medical staff brought in from outside the EU, and by making it harder to recruit staff, treatment times are also impacted. Do look at the issues around the UK’s ability to import and negotiate deals around medicines.
From one IT person to another, anon: I’m fairly sure you’ll get the statement of “You are free to change the system. You are not free of the consequences.”*
( * Well, unless said person is a snake oil consultant who’s skipped merrily away with the contracted cash and off to rinse the next target 😉 But then, lawyers, finger of blame circus, etc ).
A right to peaceful protest? Yes. ‘Direct action’ activism is a grey area, IMO, and one for people far more informed than I. However, the riots we’re talking about this month- namely, the targeting of mosques & properties of people of colour, etc – that is completely unacceptable.
PS: regarding resources, on a related note, this week I read an article which reported knee replacement surgery regret at around 30%, whereas gender confirmation surgeries have a regret rate of under 2%. This does not mean should focus on A Vs B, but that the situation is complex, and measuring the wrong thing is counterproductive, even perhaps, dangerous.
Most of the issue about taxes are caused by international tax treaties, written in the 1920, very hard to change because every country needs to agree to the change. The USA always tends to say NO, if that vulgar uncouth oaf gets in, nothing will change.
I don’t have an issue with the concept of migration, I just prefer it to be managed, ie the UK has to choose to accept you instead of just arriving on the doorstep. The UK should looking at population of refugee camps. But there are only so many resources in the UK. Usable land, health resources, farming resources etc.
As for Brexit, I voted against it, but the Brexit vote got a larger majority than the Welsh devolution and nobody questions their right to exist.
Its interesting to note we have not had any of the rioting in Wales or Scotland. Even the Daily Fail objects to riots
We have a space, food, housing, and money in the UK: however, not, IMO, as well distributed as it should be. Ignoring those fleeing war and persecution for a mo, that we have food banks or even ‘warm banks’ recently, is shocking and disgraceful. Something has gone very wrong in this country and it’s going to take a while to get things back on track.
When you have nothing and you’re afraid – of food running out, of the cold, of debt, etc – then it’s difficult not to be drawn into the lies from those who seek to divide us as people, given their ‘simple solutions’ (baseless and unworkable).
IMO, to be British is to be kind, welcoming, and accepting. Our culture is richer for its diversity and we are a nation of immigrants. Saxons, Romans, Vikings, Normans, etc through to the amazing melting pot of cultures we have now.
The Jones family background are immigrants. We’ve only been here a few hundred years. We came across from Europe to work the land and help with the waterways. But, hey, we’re white, so we pass.
Plus, the racists are hardly welcoming when it comes to equality for women or supporting LGBTQ+ people. So, yeah, I don’t side with their lies, their hate, and their unworkable ideas.
That is one truly lovely outfit. Hey, the model is not bad either!
It is an entirely normal and natural thing for humans to help each other. We are social beings and can’t survive on our own and are therefore reliant on others, just as they rely on us. Natural kindness and co-operation are often pointed out as something rare and special, often by media and bullies who are mean and exploitative. The mean guys have big loud voices but they’re actually a minority. How to reduce the power of that minority is key. Jailing violent thugs is part of it but it’s the instigators of hate that somehow need removing. I’m looking at you, JKR.
Sue x
Thank you for the kind words, Sue. The skirt was a lucky find via Vinted. I’m enjoying buying second hand; feeling it’s money going back to the person, I get something pretty, and it’s recycling as well. I did need a hand getting it clipped to make it sit right, though! 🙂
I’m with you on people being interconnected and we need to collaborate to survive. Ignoring the blowhards and liars who have the platform, when out day to day, the majority of people are kind and helpful. Perhaps that’s because we are face to face, and meeting as people. Rather than the “they’re one of those types!” Othering, we see in comments from those who seek to divide us as people.
I have broken down 3 times in the last 3 months, and was overwhelmed with the number of people who stopped to assist !
One I was even in guy mode and still got a few people.
I was most surprised – I guess old cars might get you more attention though.
Sorry to hear that Sum-up has been a pain, long live the replacement !
I am happy to pay double next time I am there if there is a hole in the finances due to this.
Will be at Peterborough beer festival for the next one, so will be September.
Izzy x
The joys (/s) of owning a classic motorcar, I guess! 🙂 Mechanical issues aside, good to hear that people are helpful.
I hope the Peterborough festival goes well and you have a good time. Thanks for the offer to pay next time. You, Ann, and two others – including me – are on that list.
I’m hoping NatWest will pick up later on the form, so we can try the be system. If nothing else, it would give us a backup
If you really want to be horrified by “Immigrants aren’t the threat; it’s those building empires and dodging tax that’s breaking things”, read “How They Broke Britain” by James O’Brien. I’m now reading “The Bullingdon Club, the Ransacking of a Nation” by Sam Bright. Truly awful.
Labour have a lot of work to do, stating the blindingly obvious, but as a nation we’d be doing ourselves a huge favour by never voting in the Tories ever again. And, of course, we will continue to see Tory politicians working with the far right media and think tanks funded by dark money. The battle isn’t over 🙁
Thank you, Alex. I have -ahem- avoided reading O’Brien’s book because it’ll just p*ss me off. Well, okay, inform and infuriate perhaps 🙂
After the damage done by the corrupt junta over the last six years, it’s going to be a long road. Not just financially and legally (COVID VIP lane scandal anyone?), but to reverse the independence of trusted institutions, and dial down the unpleasantness shown towards people of colour, trans folk, women, and those who need help (medical, mental, and/or financial).
I recommend O’Briens’ book. It doesn’t tell us what we didn’t know or couldn’t work out already but it brings things together quite well. There are some errors and misrepresentations (e.g. ‘light-touch [financial] regulation’ was Gordon Brown’s mantra not the Tories’) and, being in radio, he perhaps skews the discussion too much towards media influence. But it’s a good synthesis and didn’t so much make me rage as made me feel ‘I told you so’.
PS This post of yours has given rise to unusually high levels of discussion, hasn’t it? Stay pretty, hon.
Sue x
Hmm. I’ve mixed feelings on reading the book, Sue. Folk have been kind to recommend it and at the same time, I’d be worried that it would wind me up. Plus, I guess if James is very much in the media industry, that’ll give him to experience to write about what he knows.
I note that the European Movement – yes, I’m a liberal, flexitarian, Guardian reading, leccy car driving, woke pro EU trans person 😉 – reported that a YouGov survey put rejoining the EU at 59%. However, the truth is a little more complex.
https://yougov.co.uk/politics/articles/50317-labour-does-not-have-a-mandate-to-take-britain-back-into-the-eu-says-public
Oh, and, yes, this post has caused some debate, and I guess this is a fairly emotive issue for people. May I take a mo to say thank you to everyone for keeping things civil, even when we don’t ask agree.
PS: congratulations on Sue’s News becoming a teenager 🙂 Thirteen years eh? 🎂
Are there any trusted think tanks left? Hopefully, with labour things will improve in that department. But battling the media is a whole different ball game and one reasonably minded peeps are not likely to win – now there’s an understatement! But at least the Conservatives are out for now.
Trusted think tanks? There’s a good question. Perhaps those who are open around their funding, aims, membership; perhaps yes. However, there’s a number who are funded by extremist organisations based in the US (the evangelical right & climate deniers). If there’s money from the Russians coming in, I can’t say*
( * The answer being that I don’t know, but the truth is, being part of the woke hive mind socialist Trans Mafia; technically, I’m not allowed to say 😉 )