A kick in the head

Hi,

This week saw Wee Man and I enjoy the last episode of Bodyguard. For those of you yet to enjoy it, there’ll be no spoilers. A big thumbs up for a quality BBC political thriller. Brilliant performances by the cast and great writing too.

It’s no secret (as it’s in the trailer) that one of the lead characters has PTSD. Now, in honesty, I don’t know much about that, but I would say I do know a little about seeking help. We men are not always the best at getting help when we need it, and I’ll include folks on the trans spectrum too. We may not be completely ‘bloke’, but for some of us that’s most of our background and day-to-day culture too.

But, dare I say, getting help may be just what you need. Soldiering on regardless may feel stoic and Very Stiff Upper lip, but – and maybe shock news here – there are no prizes in doing so. Shame really because I think a gift of any sort (well, only the nice type!) is always welcome.

So how does this play into this being a trans blog? Well, I think that blokes – certainly those who are somewhere on the trans spectrum – may have had years of hiding who they are, putting on a mask to blend in, sneaking around like a spy, and that’s before we even get to start talking about dysphoria.

Yes, mental health issues in the trans community – and possibly due to that hidden stress – are slightly higher than for non-trans folk. Not that either group is better or worse; we’re just on slightly different paths. But, regardless of who you are or who you want to be: please don’t put off asking for help. That might be from a friend, your family, your doctor, or other professional. It might not feel like talking about what’s bugging you will help, but, and over time, it will.

If you don’t fancy confiding in your GP or suchlike, a local trans group may well be a good place to start. They may certainly empathise with your situation and I think that no-one (at those with their heart in the right place) is out to recruit or convert you.

Hell, those of us attending; we’re trans-something-or-other and we’ve probably realised that we’ll be in it for the long haul. If you are? Well, that’s up to you. Maybe you will, maybe you won’t. But, if you come to the group, at least you can find out and maybe make some friends along the way. Perhaps, even slightly loopy ones in rose-printed dresses 😉

Take care,
Lynn

8 Comments

  1. A good post. But it's not always easy to know where to find sympathetic help that you can trust and that uncertainty is part of the problem. At least the internet has made it easier to research stuff before contact.

    Oh, and another lovely outfit. You are always so pretty. Sue x

    1. Thanks Sue. Yes, finding a good trans group can be tricky. I've started to ask those new to the group how they found us. Some say via Nottingham Switchboard (a LGBTQ+ help centre), Northern Concord, Google (mais oui), but word of mouth seems the best advert. I've heard that from those who use forums, social media, or who have sought help from GPs/therapists.

      The Internet (t'interwebs?) has really helped in this aspect. While it's drawn some disparate and hostile forces together, it's not all bad.

      L x

      PS: thanks for the kind words re the outfit. All those weeks without a beer seen to be finally postin off 🙂

    2. Sometime round the end of last year I finally found enough nerve to attend a meeting of the Oxford trans group, after having found and joined on Facebook – though not as Susie, partly because I'm not confident or ready enough for that yet, and because it was a weekday on my way home from work. As a consequence, and because all of them seemed already settled or were on the road to transition, I felt completely out of place. I've kept up occasional FB contact, but I've not gone back since that first time.
      As Sue says, that is a really pretty frock, and that smile shows just how good you look and feel in it.

    3. Sorry to hear the group didn't work out for you, Susie. That's a shame. If you are still looking, I hope you find one that's more you.

      The dress certainly helped me feel good, thanks. Funny how the right outfit (and a good photo) help.

  2. Interesting post Lynn. I found Rose's Forum helped me a lot when I first got lost in the Pink Fog and helped me to confide my secret with my Wife who in turn helped me get help via a doctor and eventually through counselling sessions. Whilst I'm still not 100%, mentally I'm im a much better place nowadays.

    Lotte x

    PS Great photo, you look nice. That dress is gorgeous too, nice purchase.

    1. Hi Charlotte. Good to read that you are in a better place. I think that's worth a lot.

      PS: Thanks for the kind words re: the dress. It's certainly a favourite.

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