I’m not going to talk about the news today. Not because it isn’t important, but knowing that if I do, it will only stoke the slow burn of rage within me. Yes, I believe that a person is innocent until proven guilty and I also believe that victims have a right to be heard, listened to, and taken seriously. Perhaps blindly, I am hopeful – or if I can admit this to myself – that we’re in the last hurrah of powerful misogynists and that those not of their ilk will turn against them.

A trans-something-or-other person can dream, right?


I was listening to a colleague the other day about projects. Don’t worry, this will be trans related. As usual, I have to go around the houses with a bit of background before getting to the point. Call it setting the scene, or, if you’re more cynical, that I need to pad this sh** out to make room for a photo that’ll momentarily distract us from the awful truth of life. 😉

Where was I? Oh, yes: projects. The part that’s relevant is that most work – be it a personal project, a work thing, or even the route to self-discovery – is unknown.

Sure, we have a rough idea of where things are going, and yes, there’s plenty of people who can tell you the stages you’ll go through…. or, more accurately, might go through.

I’m going to stress that word because no journey is ever the same. There’s always some quirk of Fate, cast of the die, or personal circumstances that give life that little bit of an edge to keep you on your toes.

Yeah, we can plan out the steps of what we’re going to do, but the further we get away from the now of it, the more that future mist settles. We can’t know the future, only guess at it. Sure, some guesses are more informed that others, but we’ll – and I’m going to do that bit to prove that there’s folk about telling you what’s going to happen 🙂 – not really know until we’re almost on top of it.

What can we do about the unknown? Should that stop us from embarking on finding ourselves? I would say, no, do think of what might be. Do think on how things can be better and understand that you can’t know it all before you set off. Take a few steps forward and see how things work out for you. I think there’s no shame in changing direction and trying something new. Maybe it will feel like four steps back, three forward, and repeat, but you will close off the areas that aren’t working for you. That’s all cool. It’s all part of the learning process.

Maybe you want to stand still for a bit and let things go by: that’s okay too. Just, don’t stand so still you become stuck. Keep looking forward, learn from the past, but don’t be held back by it. With time – and learning – those mists will clear and – just maybe – you’ll have a grand view to see how far you’ve come.

Take care,


  1. I was just thinking how far I've come this evening. After a full week at work as Claire which coincided with three visits to Nottingham Royal Concert Hall in a week. When over there this evening was just thinking that, only a few years ago I was plucking up the courage to drive home from Chameleons as Claire and was really scared of just driving through Nottingham on the way home like that.

  2. A cryptic post. I don't like the unknown, and there's a bit too much of it around at the moment. One thing I do know is that powerful misogynists and their ilk will only ever be nasty, that you can't reason with them, and that the only purpose they serve is to make life miserable for those they come into contact with. I do feel that Western society has changed enough that most people are now supportive of decency rather than dogma and that this latest burst of nastiness will be temporary. Sue x

    1. Are there nice unknowns and not so nice unknowns? 🙂

      Like you, I'm hoping the current bout of anti-anything-except-angry-old-white-men is a whimper rather than a bang. I might be a middle age white bloke, but I don't (and won't) stand for the discrimination of others based on race, gender, sexualiy, age, etc.

      With everyday people being more live and let live, it feels like society is swinging towards acceptance and trying to understand. Well, except certain online aspects 🙂

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