Being Dad

Hello dear reader,

This week has been somewhat unusual. Not just for me, but seemingly a large number of folk who’ve been following the American elections. What is the world coming to eh? I get that neither candidate was perfect and their faults, I guess, are very much in the eyes of the voter.

That said, some of the outrageous things Trump said, you’d have been sacked from most jobs over here. I can only hope that the piss & fire was mostly for show, and his term will be far quieter. Failing that, anyone who’s had the sheer rudeness* of not being born white, straight and male, may be in for a rough ride… and frankly, that’s wrong. I don’t give a toss about your politics, your religion or your excuses: if you’re discriminating against someone’s basic human rights, you need to have a word with yourself and start treating others like people, not stereotypes.

( * warning: ironic statement )

Being Dad

Okay, politics aside, with the Ever Lovely Mrs J being away with work, it’s been my task to be the working househusband. For the record, Mrs J works too, as do many families in the UK. Partly necessity (bills, mortgage, etc) but also equality. I’ve tried seeing if I can give work up, but apparently we need the money I earn. What a crock 😉

Anyhoo, I don’t mention the househusband thing, as poor little me, or as a brag; moreover, how do single parents manage!? I’m knackered! Plus I’ve had help from Granny J on two afternoons. To top it off, old Owly McNightOwl here has been going to bed early. What’s a bloke to do eh? 🙂 Seems I’m a lightweight, as I was talking to a work colleague and her husband’s often abroad (Royal Air Force), so this is very much her gig.

I had hoped to manage a spot of Lynn time midweek, but events conspired against me. Instead, I was looking after Little Miss and Wee Man, due to unexpected school closures. I was a bit miffed at my plans going south, but what can you do? It’s not like I could send them packing, so I could go out, that really wouldn’t be right. Instead, we took the dogs for a walk, played games and watched a film. A good time was had by all and it’s quite probably saved me a bit of dosh and given me happy memories too. Good stuff.


Talking of moolah, Chameleons have been looking for funding help keep the membership costs down. After withdrawing from a recent grant, due to the requirement for full personal details, we tried our hand with the Womens’ Centre. They – bless them! – have been very helpful and we’ve been awarded our request. We’ve not had to hand over our *ahem* real IDs and they’ve been nothing but accepting about our trans nature.

Not that I expected anything less, but there’s always that slight worry that you’ll upset someone because of their views. Anyhoo, such whiffs of fear were totally unfounded. Now, as the new back account just about sorted, I’m visiting one of they’re staff to finalise matters. Fingers crossed eh?


With autumn taking a cooler turn, fashions have understandably changed. I’ve managed not to buy new boots for ages, although I’m really liking some shoe boots at the mo. I’m wondering if I need them, or if shopping is just filling in the gap, of not being all of me. Tricky times.

On the one hand, I wonder if I’m filling the trans void with retail purchases, because I can imagine outfits that would go with them. That and – to echo a sentiment made on Late Night Woman’s hour* – the idea of fashion helping me fit in and be part of the crowd. Sure, I’m a 6ft trans* person, but if I’m dressed well, does the former matter less?

( Late Night Woman’s Hour is the occasionally more adult version of BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour. I don’t mention this ‘cos of “ooo, how femme am I?” nonsense, but I enjoy the conversation and the different subjects covered. It’s available via podcast or iPlayer if you’re interested. )

But, on the other hand, there are three more meetings at Chams. Two regular meetings and the Xmas do (fingers crossed!). Then, there’s, what?, another two meetings a month before Spring (is that six?) and you know my love of mixing items up to make a new outfit. Realistically, how much wear am I going to get out of a pair of oh-so-cute boots? Sigh…. Perhaps, I’m buying the dream, rather than the item. The dream that with them on, I’ll be like the other office ladies, and not a chap who’s trying.

Decisions, decisions….

Take care,


  1. With my large feet I only really have the choice of "stripper heels", unless I want to spend over £100 on bespoke ballet flats! So mostly I decide not to fit in and go with my DMs. Which have bright pink laces regardless of how I'm presenting 🙂

    1. Funny you should say that about bespoke shoes. I was looking at a the Facebook page and a few customers pointed out the high prices compared to other sources. Ah, economics of scale :-/

      I think DMs are cool, IMHO, and when I see someone rocking a pair, it makes me smile.

    2. Luckily I can manage a UK 8 which is at the top end of most women's size ranges.
      I have three pairs of ankle boots which work well with jeans and leggings. So I'd say go for it, Lynn and treat yourself to an early Xmas present.
      DMs look cute on smaller girls, but I wonder if it work in our sizes?

    3. Gah! Voice of Satan! 😉 Yes, I may well pop out this week and see what i can find. I'm only an eight in wide fit, so nine otherwise. It's those above nine who have my sympathy. At least you can get a 9 on the high street.

      DMs? I think if the outfit is scaled up, yes. I think the truck is to avoid looking like your balancing on two gold clubs. 🙂

  2. I've just spent the morning doing the washing, cleaning the bathroom, the cooker and kitchen surfaces and vacuuming the stairs and the carpets. I wonder why Susie never does any of this when she has a whole day in the house to herself?

    1. I just had to look up TERF.
      The real answer to getting Susie to help more about the house is to wean her off spending all her time on Facebook and Google, but wondering how I change her passwords without her knowing. Tricky one, that.

  3. I've got to admit that Donald Trump becoming president of the United States was a terrible shock for me – when I discovered that he had (after so many predictions he'd lose, and badly at that), I was absolutely stunned; I couldn't believe what had happened. I think the people who voted him in made a terrible mistake in doing so; not only does he give every impression of being a bloviating moron – the last person you want in charge of the most powerful nation on earth – but his victory already appears to have emboldened some of the worst elements of American society to behave in an even more frightening and hateful fashion than before. I'm quite worried for the people I know in the States, and all the other decent folk who live there; I hope the days ahead for them aren't going to be quite as dark as they seem right now.

    1. I think that when a potential leader espouses certain views, this can legitimise those with similar takes. I'm not a fan of extremism on any front and the rise of right-wing populism has pushed hate speech and quite possibly hate crimes to higher numbers. This is not a good thing and we all lose out when this happens. I'm with you on hoping things will get better, not darker.

  4. OH the househusband thing I must admit I love it when the wife is away and I have to do the looking after all 4 kids and the house. But I have to admit it's taken many years to get there, and yes in the early days getting the grandparent brigade in to help out was a must.

    I understand the issues we face when you booking a day off from work to have a bit of Fyona time to find out that half the kids have a day off as well, either through teachers strikes or training or what ever they can get the day off for. Don't they know we need our time lol. But with the old ones now at least I know I can get at least a hour in the morning before they get up to get their breakfast at dinner time.

    It's never a dream to get the things you like especially shoes, you should see my wife shoe cupboard and the garage loads of them, I sure she only worn some of them a couple of times a year. The sad part is that even though I am the same size 7 UK I don't like here styles 🙁

    1. It's a bit of a challenge, but I think it's very rewarding being a parent. You've got four? You need another hobby or lead lined pants! 😉

      I did try two shops today, but Tesco had the size right, but not the style. While New Look had the styles, but not the sizes. Well, there's time yet.

    2. I totally agree it's a challenge, but I love every minute of it, it's what keeps me going. Yes four that's the trouble with my hobby, but two bricks and a pair of scissors helped it not getting out of control 🙂

  5. DM's I wear in cherry Red size 11's with Rainbow laces from Stonewall whether I am Bob or Jo☺. I think they look great with a maxi skirt

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