This time last night, well, as I type with somewhat cold fingers, I had finally had chance to try on my birthday present. It was a gift from the Ever Lovely Mrs J. A dress, in fact. But, when you’re trans-something-or-other, a gift from your spouse, such as earrings, a dress or suchlike. It’s so much more than a present; it is, at least to me, acceptance. A twinkle in their eye, that they know what they’ve bought you, will delight.
We all have things that we like: certain bands, football teams (Ed: don’t go there, Lynn), authors, gadget manufacturers, clothing shops, chocolates or films. I have, for a little while, been admiring Desigual’s dresses. It’s the cut, the colours, the patterns. However, even on sale, they are more than I am prepared to spend. Instead, I just admire them and enjoy them from afar.
|Thanks for the snap, Val|
Anyhoo, a series of unfortunate and unsuitable events, meant that said item languished, in my travel bag, for many a week. Nay, two months even. I’m sure I was due a warning letter from the people who issue Trans Licences. 😉
My patience paid off, and served with an early start, false lashes and my new hair, I was feeling particularly pleased. I appreciate that may sound a little smug, and that’s not my intent. What I would like to say is that sometimes, being trans can be a bit of a slog – like much in life. But, as with more regular activities, when it rocks, it truly rocks. So, serve up a batch of it-all-works-tonight, add a dose of new-threads, top with getting-your-lashes-to-work-and-wow and sprinkle some spouse-acceptance. There’s a recipe for happiness.
A few people were kind enough to compliment me on the new hair, which helped too. I had been nervous about wearing it, having seen some less than flattering photos, during the purchasing. But, the Chams crowd are both kind and honest. If something doesn’t suit, they will tell you nicely. So when they say it does, you can count on them.
While I was getting changed, a new lady – Fyona – was also making herself fabulous. I won’t say much of her background, as it’s not my story, nor secret, to share. But, meeting new people is always cool and it prompted a somewhat unusual question: what was your waking up moment?
Or, to put it another way, why did you start? I’ve asked this of many people, and each person’s answer is different. Both Fyona’s and Kimberly’s (who was sorting her lippy), surprised me. I guess, you get used to comparing what you know, and assuming that other people’s stories may be similar.
My turning point, ignition, waking up moment; whatever you want to call it, was when I was 7 or 8. I remember a seeing the laundry basket and a pair of mum’s tights. I can’t recall the exact memory. I’ve heard that memory is mostly three facts, and your imagination fills in the blanks. Whatever the detail was, I put them on, purely out of curiosity. What would they feel like? That spark of curiosity was the start of an on-again, off-again journey that’s still going on today. I’m still learning, still curious.
Kimberly’s moment was much later in life, her 20s and Fyona’s much later still. My initial reaction, other than interest in what they were saying, was: Why not earlier? Why then? I’m not saying that me starting earlier is better, or superior; it’s just early. No prizes for an early start. As I keep saying, it’s not a race. Hell, if you want to compete, compete with being a different person than you were yesterday. 🙂
A few more questions later and it seemed that it – being trans, or clothing curious, if you will – just didn’t register, until later in life. I’m curious about you dear reader, about your first steps into this odd world of gender variance.
Talking about starting and events for the new year, a few of us thought about doing a ‘newbie night’. That phrase was soon changed to Welcome Evening. There are a few busy times for Chameleons. The first is around the end of September, as the weather cools and the nights draw in. The second is just after Christmas. Maybe it’s a New Years’ resolution thing, I’ve never really asked.
So, there are lots of folk who lurk on the forum. This is cool, we’ve all done that. What Sandi, Sarah and Tina suggested, was offering a make-over evening. We’ll all bring in clothes, wigs, make-up and if anyone wants help, we’ll all chip in.
I think part of this started, because Helen had asked if I’d paint her nails for her. I have a reasonable collection of nail polishes. Thing is over the years, with a make-up voucher from Boots when you buy lunch, it’s easy to *ahem* invest in a new colour for the season. I don’t wear nail varnish every day, so they soon build up. Still, my loss, is Helen and Sandy’s gain. It felt good to share and give back a little. I also did Kim’s nails too, so maybe when I pay my mortgage off, I can go part time and run a mobile nail art business. 😉