Calm down, dear. It’s just a job.


Shall we go with the personal and then end on the ponder-able?


This week at work….. Well. Indeed. I have a very large glass of wine next to me, which is unusual; mainly as I’m more a hot choccy or gin & tonic kinda person. But, needs be as needs must. Not that it’s been a bad week – no-one passed away, no-one got the sack, etc – but I would struggle to say it’s been a good one.

Why the heavy vibes? Every year, the firm I work for, like many others, do staff reviews. Sadly, not a comedy line up, moreover a list of tasks you agree to take on, attempt to complete and if you do very well, your boss can recommend you for a boost in wages. Now, money is feeling a little tight in the Jones household – as no doubt, it is for many other folk – so this year, I did my best to go that extra mile. My thinking was I’d have plenty of evidence on the task list and indeed, I felt that in many ways, I’d gone beyond what was asked of me (extra out of hours work, taking on extra projects, not just planning upgrades but fully completing them six months in advance, yadda yadda).

I was a little surprised when I bumped into a friend in Personnel, when she asked how the staff review had gone. “What review?” I asked somewhat surprised. L when on to say that she’d seen most of the paperwork come in and the management folk had reviewed them. After more investigation, it seems our new boss….. and I struggle to type this without my blood pressure rising…. decided that he didn’t like last year’s targets (as he didn’t set them), so he didn’t hand them in.

Children of the 80s may like to rattle off the phrase: what ‘cho talking about, Willis? 🙂

All those extra hours, all that extra work. Written off because he couldn’t get his sh** together in twelve months to let us know the plans, agree new tasks, or even, to tell us what he was planning.

Yes, to say I was a little cross, is somewhat of an understatement. 😀

You can imagine, office morale has been very, very low this week – and not just from me. I have been back in touch with Personnel and after gathering evidence, I’ve asked them to investigate. Judging by the look on the adviser’s face, this goes against company policy. I’ve yet to challenge said manager over the issue – mainly as a co-worker did and was told where to get off. Nice…. :- I guess we’ll see if anything happens from above. I am gently coaxing colleagues to contact Personnel if they also feel similarly.

Watch this space.


Friday on Radio 4 – yes, I do know how to rawk 😉 – sees the regular broadcast of Desert Island Discs. For those of you not in the know, I’ll let you pop off for a quick Google and come back…..

Sorted? Good, well, this week’s episode featured the editor of Vogue. I’m afraid said lady’s name currently escapes me, partly due to traffic on the way to work, a day at work and the third of a glass of wine I’ve drunk. But while her name floats around the alcofrolically challenged neurons, her comment over a person’s appearance has not diminished.

I think that people make very conscious decisions, about the way they want to portray themselves. And if that’s to say I don’t care about my clothes, you’re still saying something.

Clothing, for a trans* person, is a complicated beast. From a guy point of view, I may be scruffy – t-shirt, jeans that have sometimes gone in the knee and trainers – but I would like to hope I look together. Not a mess, but at although very casual – to the point of being laconic? – but okay. I’m not really a fan of the shirt & tie, although for a going out do, I don’t mind. It’s nice to dress up once in a while.

As to the trans wardrobe, it’s waaaay more complicated. That’s even with ignoring the physical issues of being tall (6ft), reasonably broad shouldered and, if I don’t do more exercise, heading into two-new-wardrobes-please territory (looks guilty at the wine and drinks it anyway).

Complaining? No, not really. Perhaps the complication of it all adds to the fun. The challenge of putting something together than a) suits me, b) is fairly on trend, c) I like wearing and d) things I can’t do (like, smooth pins). There are looks I like, but don’t work for me and there are things that work for me, that I don’t like. Fickle, moi? 🙂 But, I think that’s true of everyone…. umm… not the fickle part, but the liking for things that don’t always do us any favours.

There has been many evenings when I’ve found there’s a look I’d like to try, or seen something in the wardrobe and wondered what else would go with it. On good days, it all comes together beautifully and when I get changed, it’s all good. Most days, it’s okay and I’m happy. On the bad days, even laying it all out on the bed and hoping the Fairy Gokfather (that’s not a homophobic slur, BTW! Think Disney…. only better turned out and more helpful) will give me a clue, doesn’t work. Instead, you end up falling back to old favourites.

Until someone invents the Gok app for my smartphone (“Not that, sweetheart. Try the wrap dress.“), I shall be ever looking for inspiration and coming up with outfits in my head, whenever meetings begin to drag.

Still, it is the weekend – depending on when and where you are reading this. Salut! [raises wine glass.]

Take care,


  1. Re the office situation, I'm feeling cross for you. Being taken for granted (aka being crapped on) is so f***ing infuriating. Good luck with sorting something out, or at least having your complaints taken seriously.

    1. Thanks, Jonathan. Sorry it made you cross by proxy. It is, as you say – although really, I'm bound to agree! 🙂 – a poor state of affairs.

      Fingers crossed eh?

  2. Sounds like you have a great boss! How can someone not know the damage they are doing by pulling a stunt like that?

    As for the clothes, my enjoyment goes with the trends. When I see something I like it's easy to put together outfits, but at the moment there is not much in the catalogues or on the websites that wows me, and so I'm a bit: meh! On the bright side it's cheaper at the moment! ;p


    1. How indeed. So, did he not think, or did he think and not care? There's a question, but not one I shall spend much time on.

      Is the lack of wow due to summer trends, or just this season? It's funny that sometimes, you see loads of things you like, and yet others, your turn your back on the new stuff and stuck with the tried & trusted.

  3. Sounds like the 'communication' in my place. Often it seems that someone decides we will do something a particular way but the instruction doesnt actually get down to the people it will effect until its too late. If you have the paperwork from your previous review with the goals or objectives outlined on it, you may have a case to put forward to your HR/Personnel department. I hope it goes well for you and you get some kind of recompense for all the extra work you put in!

    On the clothing front, it sounds like im similar. Pretty scruffy as a guy, but very particular (and quite fussy) as a girl. Im always looking for the items that flatter the most while remaining as on trend as possible. Sometimes I enjoy the challenge, sometimes its quite frustrating!

    1. Thanks. Not heard anything from Personnel as yet. I think a polite email may be in order. Morale is pretty bad in the team at the mo…. which is not, IMO, a good thing. Until then, on with the daydreaming over outfit collections. 😀

  4. Presumably the Gokapp tells you to strip to your underware for the nation to gawp at first before dispensing advice.
    Sorry about work, have been in frustrating breakdowns x

    1. I do like Gok…. I know a lot of folk don't, but so it goes. I think the Naked gimmick is just that, but hey, if it helps people feel good about themselves, who am I to stop them.

      I do wish he'd stop honking boobs tho. 😉

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