“What the eye don’t see won’t break the heart”

Hey y’all,

Once in a while, the all-seeing eye of The Media scans over our little subcultural havens. Sometimes folk are after a lighthearted look at we trans folk- something for the coffee table magazines perhaps.
Anyhoo, earlier in the month a similar request dropped into my inbox. It was from a soon-to-be-launched magazine – LGBT focused at that – and, unless I got the wrong end of the stick, was for students by students. A worthy cause in my humble opinion as it gives folk work experience on the real deal and from a TG point of view, if one person reads the article and gets some hope from it, then it can’t be a bad thing right?I exchanged an email or three on the subject and it was all going quite well. Then the bombshell: what about a picture of the happy couple? Say what? :-)Woah… Let’s just back up a bit on that point. While my mug may be occasionally visible – albeit in low res – on this site, I’m not ready to be in a magazine. But moving away from the whole me-me-me vibe, it’s a completely different thing for the ever lovely Mrs Jones. To start with, she’s never seen me in Lynn mode, and frankly, I’m very happy to keep it that way. Also, I’m kinda in disguise. Okay, some days the disguise is better than other days but you get my drift 🙂 Mrs J doesn’t get that luxury. So my questions – ‘cos you know there’ll be more than one right? 🙂 – are these: Why the big deal on a photo? Is the story not enough on its own? Why is it when you say ‘no’ to a snap, interest vanishes like an election promise? :-)I mean, I’ve read positive husband and wife articles in the past and they’ve been straight text. How does having a picture of a trans person + partner somehow make the story more valid? Incidental, there seems to be a rising tide of blogs written by wives and girlfriends….There are WaGs, so can there be PoTs? Partners of Trans Folk? :-D…. which I think is excellent. The partners writing that is – not my weak pun 🙂 It’s the voice we often don’t get to hear. We know the stereotype of an angry spouse – and who can blame them if we spring this surprise – but what about the partners who accept? At Chameleons, we have lots of first-time outs for us blokes, not so much in the wife department. Honestly, I take my hat off to any woman (or man) who’ll stand by their boyfriend/husband when they reveal who they really are.

Take care,
x[ Today’s lyric: When you don’t see me by The Sisters of Mercy ]


  1. On the ‘real life’ mags a photo is pretty much required but elsewhere a illustration or alternative photo would do.

    Its always great to hear alternative views the most famous being Helen Boyd regarding so’s but I’ve noticed a few starting to gain a voice.

  2. Lucy: Yeah, the real life mags have made a few calls to Nottingham Chameleons, at least via email, but – understandably – nothing ever comes from it.

    I think that now the trail’s been started, there are PoTs – sorry, couldn’t resist – who are find their own voice and adding to breaking down the traditional images we have in our heads. Viva la revolution! 🙂

  3. Alan: I think the latter will keep on going. As to revolution? Fits and starts I feel. I mean we’ve had the trailblazers do their work, I suppose it’s us to the rest of us mere mortals to keep on pushing.

    Sometimes I wonder if there will be a tranny revolution – no, not storming the castle and beheading those who only stock shoes up to a 6 🙂 – but will there be a date in the calendar that says: ‘it all happened today’?

    We’re a secretive bunch and as someone pointed out in a forum many moons ago, it’s nice to be out once in a while, but until the TG community is ready to be ‘out’ in male mode – at home, workplace, etc – then the TG revolution may never happen.

    Alternatively, it may be a gradual shift were we wake up one day and find that Jo(e) Public doesn’t give a hoot and it’s only ourselves who have the problem 🙂

  4. I would love to see the world come to the point where it didn’t matter…

    As for that shoe thing, I’d be happy if they could even get the sizes the same between brands!


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