“Time goes by… so slowly”

Hi kids,

No deep journey into the soul tonight, my brain feels like it’s ready to shutdown. With a bit of luck, maybe I can coax a little more activity out of it.

We had a consultant in at work. To those of you who have had the pleasure, you’ll know all about Death By Powerpoint and the 2pm graveyard shift. You know, that bit where the animal part of your brain – which is being completely underused – kicks off with ‘food eaten. now sleep.’ It’s touch and go then until it’s time for tea and biscuits.

Somewhere in the dead zone, I found myself pondering something far more intereting than the security workshop. Okay, yes, it was clothing related (so sue me) and I realised someone had asked me a question. “So what to you think of the solution?”

Ooops. Busted! Now, it would have been rather handy if my imagination had used the items on the whiteboard and filled in the blanks. (Ed: or you hadn’t been daydreaming). But no, instead I got a Obi-Wan moment delivered in Morgan Freeman’s wonderful voice:

Security synergy? To me, it’s just a made up thing, a consultant’s phrase, so that young fellas like yourself can wear a suit and a tie and charge the firm a four figure sum to tell management something they already know but are either too dumb or scared to admit it to our customers.”

All this happened in but an instant; that’s the wonder of your imagination. Perhaps the gentleman took my silence to mean that I was considering saying something of deep importance. Unable to shake Morgan’s advice, I frowned and looked at the board. “I’m just not sure that that level of redundency is required.” That seemed to do the trick and off he went into techno-double-speak.

Normal service will resume when my brain has recovered.


  1. Heh. Yes, trimming consultancy may not be a bad thing.

    A mate once said that they have a gravy boat at their work. It’s like the gravy train, only more opulent.

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