Good week? I do hope so.
Fun with Wipe Boards
I was about to type: ‘do you find yourself bored in meetings?’ But really that’s a stoopid(tm) question really. So, before you enter the 10th circle of hell, to help pass the time, why not turn up a little early and write down some outsourcing terms on the whiteboard or on the flip charts?
Chuck in some random percentages, a graph or three and include words like key staff attrition, customer return index, Capita vs Prometa vs Offshoring, OCP retention, projected staff losses, chainsaw cull, etc.
You can also do similar things for companies who are MS / *nix / Netware houses. Just pick your favourite opposing technology company and jot down some pointless buzzwords.
Now, sit back and see who bites… 🙂
Snip, Snip, Snip
After everyone had set off to work, I got out the denim skirt I bought last week. A couple of careful snips later and I was the proud owner of a mid thigh skirt (see below). At least I could sit down in this one. Not bad for 3 quid 50 and five minutes work, although I doubt Den de Lisi has anything to worry about just yet. Unusually for me, I actually have a picture snap of this. (Thanks Sandi!)
Deliverance meets Butterflies
This week’s Chams meeting had a Country and Western feel to it. Rather than sit about and natter, sometimes the group likes to do something. Frequently it’s a quiz, sometimes a trip out, a theme evening (no, not gas masks or maids – Valentines or Tea on the Green). For a bit of variety, this time was line dancing. Sandi came armed with a couple of DVDs and Daphne provided the speakers (thanks girls!). After a few volume issues with the old laptop (let’s hear it for open source DVD players) we got started.
The introduction had a short piece on ‘what not to wear’. As per, the TG contingent were dressed inappropriately (in heels). Still, how hard could it be? It’s just walking up and down right? 🙂
There must have been about half a dozen of us (RGs and TGs) and my word the dancing was hard. I just about managed to follow the ‘left right left, left behind the right’ instructions when they were slow, but put it to music and we started to lose it. Daphne pointed out that it was very much like the famous cooking scene from Butterflies (no? Ask your mum then – just don’t mention it’s a trans blog alright? She’ll only worry). Still, the hardcore persevered (cowboy hats off to you ladies!) and we while we won’t be winning any prizes – it was a good laugh.
Strangely, it was easier to line dance to Abba’s Dancing Queen than the country numbers. Before you ask, that wasn’t on the DVD, but while everyone was having a break, I fancied a quick boogie to something a little easier to dance to. Somehow I don’t think the group would have been impressed with NIN’s Closer. 🙂 Maybe next time we can be disco bunnies or salsa loons! Salsa? What the hell am I going to wear for that? Plus, who’s going to lead? 🙂
After last month’s query about how busy are the big guns – actually, let’s be lets be a little more literal – last month’s query over how much traffic do the big blogs pull, Becky suggested (ta missus!) I try Google Analytics. I did this just after last week and it’s quite interesting to see where folk are coming from to view your site. Clearly, most folk are English speakers (Ed: don’t make a snippy comment about American English – especially wiv yor spulling) although there are a few people from further afield: China (everyone’s cheap labour market, but shhh.. don’t mention human rights, it means we get cheap goods); South America and eastern Europe too. Places not so far afield pop up on the map (Northern Notts). I wonder who that is? 🙂
The other day I bumped into a mate from an old work place. That’s part of the fun of these consultancy gigs: you never know who you’re going to meet again as you flit our the Midlands. Anyway, that’s not the point of this section. First, a bit of background: after I’d left the other firm, I heard that one of the network guys had come out and decided to transition. Fair enough, I thought, and that was the last I heard.
Anyhoo, while we were shooting the breeze I heard a little more about what had happened to Miss P (as we’ll call her). T told me that Miss had decided it wasn’t for her and – pre-surgery – decided to go back to being Mister. Righto, I mumbled in response – trying to feign non-interest. (Ed: Jeez, non-scene straight acting or what? FFS). I’ll say it here tho, I think that took real guts. It’s one thing to want to change your entire life, but it’s quite another to put yourself through all the funs and games it involves, only to publicly admit that you made the wrong choice…. and to go back. Again, it takes a lot of bottle to do that. Respect.
Talking of work, I was recently shown an advert for a new messaging system. That’s not the interesting part – the advert was a kinda Sex in the City meets Star Trek communicators thing about a fashion house. Again, the Enemy Within strikes a blow for TG creativity.
“Well, Bob, I was thinking we thrash out an ad about this messaging system. Y’know, like, showing how you can read your mail while in the server farm or catching up with meetings while on the shuttle bus. Guys?”
“You think so Jerry? What about doing a number set in a fashion house? Maybe a meeting with their big boss? They could talk all about the new colours for the season and maybe the PA could go shopping…Oh, the click of her heels as she heads down the street, mobile in hand, Radley bag in the other? To…errr. show that the system works when you’re outside the office.”
Ice Ice Baby
Sometime last year H. asked if I’d like to go ice skating with her and the girls. Being about as graceful on ice as a drunken hippo with greased feet, I chickened out and had some father + son time down the local park.
Ice skating? Well, it’s just never appalled… until I caught Lisa Scott Lee on the ITV bruise-athon Dancing on Ice. Hell, her performance ticked all my boxes: amazing young lady looking fab, cheesey anthem (video), and what an outfit! I’m off for a boot fitting. Later, lovelies!