Hi,
I nearly started the introduction with “hello there”, which may ring a few bells if you’re a sci-fi nerd (like me) or have used the Internet any time in the last ten years 😉Still, we have our title, and possibly, a tie in with the graphic below.
I feel that labels are shortcuts and as such, trim a long story to a short one – and in some cases, a single word. However, if the history of YATGB has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t do short explanations 🙃 Excuse me while I rev up the hyper-waffle-drive… 😉 Two scoops of ice-cream…. a dash of maple syrup…. and we’re off!
[ Today I learned: To be genderfluid may fit within being non-binary, which in turn, may sit within being trans* ]
So, why the phases of the moon? I guess there are times when a picture can help with a metaphor. Yes, I have attempted to tweak the colours of each phase. No, I don’t know why I left the middle one red either. If I’d been aiming for the trans pride colours, or indeed how the moon looks, it should’ve been white. Ho hum! 🫠
I think what I was trying to show, and possibly make sense of in my own head, is that I change. Yes, I’m ‘me’ all of the time, and yes, how I look varies with environment, or perhaps, opportunity. Like most folk, how I behave depends on who I’m with. I’m pretty sure we’ve heard the chat about wearing masks or the idiom of ‘putting on your game face’.
The catch, if you will, with the above, is that it’s all good…. provided one is swimming with the proverbial tide. Ah, we’re back to the moon again – which is useful, because if you take another look at my badly coloured in photo, you’ll notice the colours do not phase properly. Now, if I was very clever, I would say that was on purpose. But the truth is, I’m okay with graphics software, but I’m not a graphic artist 🙂
After various weeks or being okay, I find myself with a slight case of unease. That tightening of the metaphorical spring. Tension that I can feel in my arms and back as a type right now. Tick tock, as I’ve said in the past. Hopefully I will be able to let things go, focus on the good, and not worry about feeling out of kilter. I redid my toes the other day with a new colour, so that’s a little something just for me. Maybe a luxurious shower might help as well? Something to think about for later.
Now, it’s Friday and I’ve had a day off and the full weekend to look forward to. All of these are good things. Likewise, today I’ve had the pleasure of a spring afternoon walking the doggos. The key element, at least for me, is to remind myself You don’t have to be anywhere. It’s not quite taking time to sniff the flowers, but it’s close. It’s to be aware of my surroundings, to not rush, to let the hounds have a good sniff, rather than zip round the route, and get back to the next task. A clever person might say the word mindful, but you might have to wait for that here 😉
To try and enjoy the moment, it means that I get the enjoy the warmth of the sun on my face. To hear the birdsong. To experience a touch of Spring as the trees and flowers begin to bloom. After the greyness of the late Winter, these are, I feel, things to be cherished.
With Spring, of course, comes marketing and I am doing my best to ignore the -ahem- Call of the Inbox and Lure of the Sale. Yes, I have looked previously. Yes, I put things in my basket…. and then left them. I gave it a day. A day became a week… and they’re still in the basket. Clearly, I am not in need of them, and even if there’s a reduction and I’m still not buying, I guess someone else can have the pleasure. This approach seems to be working for me, so far. Not exactly going cold turkey, but a good slow down nonetheless.
Besides, I’ve a good wardrobe of brights and I can fold the opaques up until late Autumn. I’m quite looking forward to the change. Perhaps I’ll “mix n match” for a work morning just to even out the genderfluidity.
Fingers crossed eh?
L x
The older I get the more I feel, as I did as a child, that perhaps civilization is not all it’s cracked up to be. That not feeling pressured to be doing something, that simply feeling sunlight on one’s face is really nice, that playing with pets is as good a game as any… Online, I’m increasingly putting things in baskets and then giving the site a rest for a few days. When I come back to it I’ve usually forgotten what I was thinking of buying last time and then I just empty the whole basket and get the old favourite frock on again or whatever it is.
Have a relaxing weekend. Cute outfit BTW.
Sue xx
I think some civilisation is a good thing. I like people – just not everyone all at once 😉 Plus, I’m not fully sure the ‘hyper connectedness’ of turbo charged news is good for us. I guess it’s a form of privilege to be able to ignore it. That and help your mental health from the doom scrolling.
Is it an age thing, to shift away from busy cities and towns? 🤔 In my early 20s, I liked being in the city, but we moved out to the suburbs once we could. I think before I was 30, we moved out into the sticks. It’s just… a lot quieter out here. Dark nights are nice as there are no street lamps.
I’m hoping to wear days outfit this coming Thursday. Fingers crossed.
It was Neil Tennant who wrote, and sang, “the question of identity is one that’s always haunted me, the person I decide to be depends on who is with me.” Also, hauntingly for me, “the woman in me shouts out, the man in me just smiles.”
I hope you found some peace in the spring weather lately too. I have never been a fan if the noise, glitz, glamour and clamour of urban living, personally.
Finally, some words from Erasure: “I never had to tell a lie, cos I always drifted with the tides of the moon.”
Thanks Joanna. As a teen in the 80s, I found solace in the lyrics of Erasure and The Pet Shop Boys. I guess during the cruelty of the Section 28 era, artists wrote subtly. The themes from their works covered other lived exigences too.
To come come back to your note from Tennant, what a gift it is to be free to express yourself, and not second guess nor mask your speech.
I’ve never fully decided or figured out where I fit within the CD/genderfluid/biGender/trans spectrum. I tend to regard trans as an umbrella term and where I sit in the other categories often depends on how I feel at any particular time.
Fridays off are a good thing, although being increasingly taken over by ‘volunteering’ duties (or the feeling that you should be giving the carpets and stairs a good clean)
Re. Sue’s comment: It was Gandhi, I think, when asked what he thought of Western Civilization, answered that he thought it would probably be good idea.
Hi Susie. Thanks for the Ghandi quote. That did make me chuckle.
Labels and the tribes within, eh? Discuss and show your working 🙂 Like you, I’ve mostly stuck with the umbrella term, as it seems to cover all bases.
I guess there’s times when I seek more understanding and possibly the need for accuracy. But, as you point out, it does very much depend on how you feel. I think all I can say, is being – or feeling – stuck in one form doesn’t work for me. The option to flex and change does – regardless if that’s complete femme appearance or some way in-between.
Good to hear Fridays are working out for you – even if, so to speak, you sort of end up working on them.
Hyper-waffle-drive, I like that Lynn.
Interesting link about the fact that genderfluid may fit within being non-binary, thanks for including it your post. Genderfluid, non-binary, bigender, demigender, so many labels and for so many years I’ve tried to find an appropriate label for myself.
A spring afternoon walking the dog sounds nice, like you say to experience a touch of spring, the blooming of trees and flowers and the sound of birds are indeed things to be cherished.
Nice outfit photo Lynn
Best Wishes
Lotte x
The hyper-waffle: a four dimensional shape that pairs brilliantly with ice-cream and some maple syrup. The extra dimension appears as ‘added padding’ to the consumer’s physique 😉 However, if used as fuel for the hyper-waffle-drive, this extra space is converted into reading time, as there’s so much more content to read 😀
I kinda feel that with all the labels going around, that the community is searching for something that makes sense. Not a quick process, IMO, as people come forward with new ideas and there’s the rise & fall of terminology, as we all learn.
Thanks for the kind words about the outfit, Lotte.