Hi,
The difficult thing about writing a blog entry – and I should add, IMO 🙂 – is getting started. It seems to be an either/or of having nothing in the tank, or the overly full shopping bag that’s wobbling about on the backseat. Today seems very much the latter metaphor. If you just give me a mo, I’ll try to make it to the proverbial table, and bring matters to rest.
Right, that’s that metaphor well and truly tortured 😉 Let’s get on with this week’s gibbering eh? 🙃
Nails
At my last appointment to the beautician – yes, make your own jokes about they’ve got their work cut out or I hope they get paid by the hour etc 😉 – I took their advice and bought a bottle of Orly Nail Defence. Well, two to be precise: a strengthening treatment and a nutritional one (‘nailtrition’).
I can report that either through luck, vitamins, and/or the strengthener treatment, my nails have survived this week’s usual bumps and stumbles. All that and they have a nice shine to them too. I’ll take that as a win #Posiblog
I guess like moisturiser, perfume, or the feel of the right clothes on your skin; for me, having my hands feel soft and my nails looking, well, pretty, that helps. It’s another step away from the dry drab of ‘himness*’. Which, if you’re a bloke, himness is probably great…. it’s just not for us genderfluid types.
Time off
I could’ve written ‘my last week of freedom’ but that feels a touch hyperbolic 😉-
[ No, brain, not hyper b*ll**ks; that’s a term that describes the doom scroll of news churn 😁 ]
– and if I look for the good in that, I think there’s been quite a bit. Okay, I have missed my old colleagues and there was an element of worry about what the future may hold. Then again, as the cynical old joke goes: a permanent job is just a contract with a month’s warning 🙃 I guess that joke predates zero hour contracts 🙄
As the Ever Lovely Mrs J pointed out, I’ve not had a career gap, and with what had been happening in our family – and perhaps my job too – a break might do me good. As ever, she was right, and ignoring the job application, associated self-doubt / imposter syndrome, etc; it’s been rather good.
I’ve had time to probably switch off from the old life, sort the house a little, visit Granny J, and even a have a few days out in Lynn mode.
Interestingly, the latter – the pull to what to be out – has somewhat switched off from around November. I don’t know if it’s because I’m able to mix & match more at home, legs/nails are more as I prefer. But, whatever it is, I’m glad not to have that… well, click-click-click of pressure ratcheting up. I hope that new found balance remains and continues into this year.
NB: I note I’m wearing jeans in three of those photos. I wonder if the GFPD – Gender Fabulous Police Department- will ask to see my licence? Excuse me, ma’am; is this your photo stream? Are you aware you’re not wearing heels nor posing on a staircase, in a built up area? 🙃
Chams
With last time’s meeting moved back a week, it meant that our second meeting of the month was just a week after. A bit of a change and good to get things back on track.
After dressing for the cold last time, I had in my mind the idea to mix & match some separates, but I couldn’t quite get anything settled in my head. Do you have that at all? The Ever Lovely Mrs J did point out that getting your skirt & top just right is a bit tricky. Perhaps more so, when you’re trying to work out how to get colour pop opaques in there *and* ensure your top half is warm. Ah, the things you don’t have to worry about as a bloke eh? 🙂
It took a bit of time to remember that there’s at least six* dresses [ Me thinks the lady doth underestimate too much 😉] that would tick the boxes on style, warmth, length, and colour choices. That’s before you add in the obligatory cardigan to layer up a little.
I also wondered if it might be nice to switch over from comfy boots, to a heel just to change things around. Usually my go to is a Mary Jane style – they’re certainly comfier & easier to walk in! – so I found an old part of New Look heels. Oddly, I had been planning to send them off to a charity shop, but I was glad I’d left them on the side. I had forgotten you need to take smaller steps in them, but a bit of housework helped me get used to them again.
I happened to mention that I was struggling a bit with my eyeliner melting, and the Ever Lovely Mrs J advised that it may be the pencil I was using. Bless her, she gifted me one of her old Urban Decay ones! ❤️ On the matter of replacing it, Mrs J said we’d worry about that should she need any new make-up this year. As I got ready at the Centre, I was reminded how lucky I am, to have an accepting partner. That I don’t have to hide who I am, and we can talk openly about trans* matters, what a gift that is! 💝
As to the night itself, we were fairly busy and good to catch up with folk after the Xmas party of last year. It was Helen’s birthday and, bless her, she’d been kind, bringing along a cake to help celebrate it. Thankfully, we had the cake slice I’d picked up for the Christmas ‘Do, and we had plenty of napkins & paper plates. I did the usual ‘who wants cake?’ ask, and then slice & deliver. No brain, do not go into a Adam & the Ants riff 🙃
[ 🎶 I’m the dandy organiser, who delivers cake confection! ]
I absolutely didn’t need to pop to the bathroom, having dropped a piece of chocolate icing down my cleavage 🙃 I did check my eyes while I was there and no sign of any melting or Pandavision 🙂 Mind you, I did try different mascaras on each eye, and I didn’t apply any to my lower lashes. Neither mascara ran and my eyeliner stayed put too. I’ll take that as a win.
The dress is by Popsie, so it has the all important pockets, and it’s a great fit. The material feels rather nice, and I’m glad I bought a summer dress in their autumn sale. My hair may look a little different, as I gave my wig a careful spritz of synthetic conditioner post-wash. That seems to have straightened out a little, and helped it fall back to the sharper cut.
Now, I don’t do a lot of photo editing to my snaps, other than removing marks off the wall or a slight change in lighting, etc. However, I felt I’d try my hand at mixing two snaps together. One snap I preferred the post, but I wasn’t looking – yes, I got distracted 🙄 So, I’ve tried to play ‘head swap’ and you can see the altered image to the side.
That reminds me, I feel that some how, we need to improve the lighting at Chams. But, I’m wondering about time & space with any equipment I get. I mean, we used to have a proper white backdrop and frame, but it took up a lot of space and around ten minutes to put up & take down. It’s not like we ‘time rich’ by the end of the evening. I may need to put my thinking head on 🙂
Just a case of easing into the weekend – says she who’s had six months off 😉 – and then back to the world of work. I wonder how things will go? Big Girl Pants on, deep breath, and don’t forget a coffee beforehand!
L x
I like your metaphor of blogging as a shopping bag. Sometimes I find the bag splits and the contents fall out in a heap and somehow you’ve got to make some coherence of the runaway apples, squashed tomatoes and tins of beans all over the floor, whilst putting the spam well away.
Thanks for the nail strengthening and nourishing advice. I must get myself some of that good stuff.
I keep telling TGirls that women these days don’t wear skirts and dresses much, but jeans, leggings, trousers and shorts are the usual choice. So if you want to look like a woman out then dress like one. Three points for going out in jeans, therefore. Not that there’s anything wrong with a dress, mind. That’s a lovely one you have at Chams.
I’ve noticed over the years of reading YATGB how Mrs J has grown more and more to accept and support your trans life. Her sharing her makeup with you and giving you tips is like the final stage of acceptance. It’s heartening to hear of a couple who grow together like that.
Best of luck with the job, and have a nice weekend.
Sue xx
Hmm. Beans, apples, tomatoes, spam? I’ll skip the classic Python reference, and ask what dish are you making?.😁 On a less silly note, good to hear it chimed with you.
I’m just trying the Orly nourishing finish today, and so far, so good. The main things are that it’s a subtle but classy shine finish. The strengthener helped protect my nails, so I’m hoping this version works well too. I hope you find some and they work for you.
Yeah, dresses for special occasions seems to be the thing. That or when you can’t quite be bothered or the separates aren’t quite working for the office. Given how comfy a good pair of jeans & boots – or a good set of leggings – I’m not surprised at the popularity. Thanks for the kind words about the outfits, Sue.
Mrs J and I talk about various things and, perhaps obviously, the trans situation comes up. Partly because Mrs J and I are parents to a young trans men, Child 2.0, and also because of my nature too. I’ve shared shoes, dresses, and gifted emergency tights, when Mrs J needs to get fancy for a work related thing. We have different tastes in patterns and she’s (sensibly) sworn off heels: Birkies or boots these days, bless her.
Wishing you a good weekend too. TTFN!
The other difficulty of blog writing is trying to think of anything after the opening paragraph that you’ve spent the last week thinking about.
I get eyeliner smudge too, which is likely from using cheap non brand Superdrug products. I’ll have to make a note of Urban Decay if those are better. I can sometimes forgo the foundation, cream or powder but lip and eyeliner are a must.
Pocketses are good. Better than having to tuck a spare tissue up your sleeve – or down your bra.
Yes, there’s that too. You manage to herd the words of the opening and then…. birdsong and breeze follows. Cue numerous minutes of false starts or writing, deleting, and rewriting to get going.
Yeah, the eyeliner smudge thing. I think it might have been exacerbated by my new foundation. That or the slight touch of mascara to the outer corner of my lower lashes.
That’s a fair few variables to play around with in my head! 🤔 So, I’ve kept the fountain as is, only put mascara on my upper lashes, and tried a different mascara on each eye. Just in case one was the culprit. I’m thinking the foundation might be playing into things, and despite the better coverage, I may go back to my Clinique.
Urban Decay’s ranges cash be rather funky and they do an amazing set of shades for all skin types. Yay for inclusion for darker skinned folk ask the way to us milk bottle people 😁
As to the tissue: perhaps in the bra might have helped avoid the icing incident! 😁
An uplifting post as always and I’m so pleased that you have been free of the ratchet recently.
I can’t comment very much on the clothing debate. But I can say that I enjoy wearing a skirt to work and that the power of decent tights to set something off with a decent top or dress is superior to jeans for a special occasion. That said, I do seem to spend a lot of time in jeans or dungarees myself so… maybe not the soundest response I’ve given.
My own make up game is entirely utilitarian, so I cannot do much more than look with awe at your own excellent use of eyeliner and mascara.
Stay fabulous!
Thanks Joanne. To be free of the (accursed) ratchet is rather good. May that continue for a bit longer, please 🙏
As to make-up, I think Chams isn’t really a ‘daytime look’, if that makes sense. Not full on glam – unless it’s Halloween or Xmas – but quite possibly in the ‘night out’ territory.
I’m fairly sure I’d have to dial things down and get up early, to manage it every day. No wonder so many people keep it simple.
Hi Lynn, I really enjoyed this blog post, it has that wonderfully familiar Lynn cadence where humour, reflection, and honesty weave together so naturally. From the “nothing in the tank vs wobbling shopping bag” dilemma, to the gentle self-mockery and asides, it all feels both deeply human and very you.
Your reflections on nails and self-care resonated more than you might expect. Those small, tactile comforts, soft hands, a bit of shine, really do matter, especially when they quietly help move us away from versions of ourselves that never quite fit.
I also appreciated how thoughtfully you wrote about balance: time off, identity, and that welcome easing of pressure rather than its absence feeling like loss.
The Chams section was a joy, from wardrobe problem-solving (and the eternal cardigan calculus) to cake logistics and eyeliner experiments.
There’s such warmth in the way you describe community, partnership, and belonging, and the gratitude you express for acceptance feels both grounded and moving.
And finally, the Cham outfit photos are lovely. The dress, the styling, and that confident ease really shine through, pockets included. A wonderful visual coda to a rich and generous post.
Thank you for the lovely comment, Lotte.
As to your words on self care – nails, skin, etc – it’s very much the little things that help ♥️
Fab dress, do love a popsy !
Izzy
Thank you, Izzy. They [Popsie] do some fab designs.