Hi,
Today’s the last day of the Jones’ staycation. Both the Ever Lovely Mrs J and myself had leave to use up, so with Child 2.0 on a much deserved school holiday; it was time for a few days out.
Given our family situation around caring – both human and animal! 🙂 – we split things up, so Mrs J & Child 2.0 could stay overnight for the further trips, while Yours Truly would look after the hounds. Plus, I don’t travel as well as I used to (Ed: Fairly sure Lynn’s snoring might summon a Witcher to investigate the monstrous noise😏).
Hot headed
It’s been another heatwave in Europe, so the first part of this week was aiming to keep cool. This meant early morning walks with the doggos and keeping them out of the hot sun – they do love to sunbathe! – during the afternoon.
Given two days to myself, typically I’d be heading out & about, taking the gift of time. Given the environment, this was not on the cards, but that didn’t stop the ol’ thought powered, brick filled tumble-dryer from rumbling away on the matter. Yeah, thanks brain! 🙃
I wouldn’t exactly describe this as distress or upset…. more, gentle frustration. The fact that you know it’s not going to happen, and despite coming up with a few ideas to dodge the heat, it is not worth fighting against the obvious. I guess like pushing your foot in a not-quite-my-size-but-dammit! fab shoe, you might get out in it, but you’ll not enjoy your time about in it 😏
Besides, it was DeWookiefication midweek and Chams on the Thursday: two good reasons to look to the future and take it easy on the hot days.
Gender Affirmed
While there’s not much fuzz left on my outer calves (mooooo! 🐮) for a decade or more; other areas have remained obstinate and have not flown away for my middling years 😉 So, a trip to the beautician is always welcome.
It seems like a rather fab cocktail of a beauty treatment, a good chat, some pampering, acceptance, and I always feel better having gone. I mean, what’s not to like!
This Tuesday was no different and being on holiday, I had time to go a visit Wee Man + Mrs Wee Man, and have some lunch out. Well, coffee and toasties, as none of us where particularly hungry. They’re both doing well, which is great to see. Job malarkey continues, but you only need to be lucky once.
Fairly sure the t-shirt doesn’t exist, but as there’s rarely anything new under the sun, this one is up purely for a visual pun and satire.
Thursday and chillax
With a much needed dip in the hot weather, I was very much in a meh kinda mood about Chams. Well, not about going: I always enjoy catching up with folk and seeing everyone. We’ll come back to that in a mo.
No, this was more that I’d mentally prepared myself to it being too hot, and given Tuesday’s waxing and some self-administered nail care, I was feeling fairly chipper. The Ever Lovely Mrs J suggested the classic ‘well, why not pack just in case, you might change your mind’ – clearly, Mrs Jones knows her hubby’s addled brain better than he does 😁
Chams HQ was a touch warm, but the A/C certainly helped. That and I decided to take a risk and use some Bare Minerals powder foundation, rather than my regular, Clinique. I was pleased with the results. Both in terms of good coverage and it was too warm. Don’t get me wrong, the Clinique stuff is fab; I just find it a bit much along with padding, wig, etc.
Clothing wise, I’d packed two dresses – both Joe Browns – with one new (sale) and one from Vinted. The Vinted one won out as it was sleeveless. Both sets of shoes where from Vinted, which while that hasn’t helped reduce my shoe collection – yes, Susie, I will do a count at some point 😉 – it does mean I’m sort of recycling, rather than buying new.
I’m also able to satisfy the frugal genes, in that I’m able to buy brands I wouldn’t usually spend on. In this case, Clarks, which seem to have just the right fit and styles I’m after. However, as much as I love the designs, I don’t think I can justify a new pair, given I’m out twice a month.
The group had a good long chat about silly stuff, life, the trans situation, how well a visit to Leeds First Friday went, and the possibly effects of the Online Safety Act that came in last month. The silly stuff was a chat about comedy new & old; with much shared humour, recollection, and occasional personal funny stories. This resulted in a lot of laughter, and I think that’s one of the most amazing things about the group.
A number of the group went to the Leeds First Friday night out for the first time, and it was great to hear what a good time they had. It wasn’t just the night out itself, but the afternoon of being out & about, and being in regular (AKA civilian) venues for meals and drinks. Izzy was on holiday, but her blog often covers some of it. Anne’s is one of the organisers – I think that’s right – but I don’t have her Instagram feed to link to. Assuming the Unusual Suspects are featured on it, who knows! 🙂
Oh, and I did say I’d come back to the point about catching up. As per last week’s post about talking with friends & colleagues about being a mix of support, validation, etc; one of the many things that’s fantastic about Chams, is that there isn’t that masking. You can just as easily listen to a friend talk about a day out, their struggles with a music project, hopes in adopting pet, to hear someone compliment another on what they’ve picked.
It’s that cultural safety where we can be ourself, where we don’t have to mask, that sets up free. Well, IMO. It is genuine support and dare I say care, in that we do look out for each other. Well, as much as a group of middle aged Midlanders might do 😏 There’s certainly some good natured jokes that go around, but never with malice or meanness.
In terms of the Online Safety Act, we had a good long chat about options to help protect the forum. I think the short version is that we’re okay and we are doing all the right things to make it comply as best we can. Whenever you have a ‘safe space’ where members are worried about their privacy, I get that it’s worrying if a provider wants ID. That’s before you get to the dysphoria of having to look at a male passport when you’re not a bloke (and vice versa).
So we’re working through things and everyone’s come together to be open about their needs, and offer a hand. TBH, this has really helped me, as I didn’t want to decide on behalf of the group. I mean, sure; Val, Diane, and I help run Chams; but it’s the group’s group, not ours. We’re just helping look after it. It’s absolutely a team effort, with folk helping here & there, sharing things, organising vendor visits, etc.
That reminds me, I do need to buy sugar, having forgot last time. Oops. 🫢
It wasn’t long before the evening was at a close, so it was time for a few snaps to help capture a few memories. Looking at my own, I clearly see to be quite chuffed given the cheeky smile. That’s a rare but genuine moment. I’ll take that 💖
L x
PS: Please do pop over to Sue’s News & Views, as Sue is celebrating a fourteen years of blogging.
Firstly, thank you for the shoutout. Most kind.
Secondly, points for cute frock and hairdo. An ideal look for a hot day.
Good to hear of the two fem boosts of wax and Chams this week. How to keep dysphoria at bay.
OK, I’m going to have to ask, since you’ve awoken the science cell I have in my brain, about doggie sunbathing. If a dog sunbathes, does its skin get darker or does its fur go blonder? You know, like for humans.
Sue xx
Credit where credit to due, Sue. Apologies for the rhyme.
The outfit was cooling and I wasn’t too hot, thankfully. I wished I’d managed to apply some fake tan in my upper arms, but that’s my “aim for the best” hyperfocus kicking in, which doesn’t help. Instead, I shall try to focus on your kind words and the smile in the photo.
Yeah, no whiff of dysphoria this week and I guess that’s like being pain free. You go about your day and it’s only as you get on, that you remember nothing hurts. That’s a good place to be!
Well, our hounds are fairly furry, so they’ve not much skin on show. That’s good given the effect of the sun can be harmful. We walk the doggos early to avoid the heat and sun, as with their dark fur, it’s far too hot for them.
I’ve not noticed their fur lightening, although our eldest hound has gone very grey around the face. He’s an old boy now 🩷
Nice outfit photo Lynn, you have that pose down to a fine art. I do like your summer ditsy dress and it hangs rather well on you.
One can never have too many shoes Lynn. I’ve bought a few dresses off Vinted and have never been disappointed.
Enjoy your weekend.
Lotte x
Thank you, Lotte. Padded shorts help add shape – those and a good bra.
As to posing, I think the trick is to take a lot of photos! 😉 Luckily Val and I have an agreement on taking each other’s picture, so there’s plenty to pick from.
On a more serious note, I think the advice I read was “don’t stand straight on as you’ll look your widest” and “if it bends, bend it”. I guess that’s legs and arms…. not all fingers in different directions. At least, not unless you’re auditioning for Wicked 🪄
“One can never have too many shoes…” but one can struggle for cupboard space 😉
There’s some lovely things on Vinted isn’t there? I like the ideas of someone selling something on, that I’m getting something new to me, and it’s helping recycling a bit.
We’ve talked about that feeling of frustration, either when opportunity and time come together but something else, which could be the weather, tiredness or mood, gets in the way. Luckily there was a self-care session and Chams (and a new Vinted dress) to prevent that frustration from boiling over.
Did you remember the sugar?
Sugar? What su…?.Umm, yes of course! 😁 No, it’s on my list and I’ll pick some up when I’m next in the Co-op.
Yes, you’re absolutely right about the frustration of stuff in the way. I guess it’s that emotional upset at realising you’re going to be stuck as him for longer. If you’re lucky, there’s distractions you can do to try and help. However, they feel more like snatching a breath, rather than mindful breathing.
Glad Chams went well, a shame to miss it !
The LFF afternoon bar crawl is currently organised by Ann, Benni and myself – our 2 year anniversary is in October ! Not sure where those 2 years have gone !
It is a lovely photo and dress too.
Anne says ‘hi’, BTW 😁 She also said you were on holiday, so I hope you’re having a good time away.
I didn’t get the full details, but the afternoon and related shopping trips, seemed to be the highlight. Well done for for the organising. It all helps.
PS: Thanks for the kind words about the dress and photo! 🙏