Hi,
Friday at last huh? Well, good news for those of us who don’t work the weekends, at least. Yikes, I hated working weekends back in the 90s. Saturdays & Sundays are made for relaxing, IMO. Well, okay, housework, errands, dog-walks, and then maybe some relaxing – but not being stuck at a desk! 🙂
A brief spell
With a last minute summer trip, the Ever Lovely Mrs J and Child 2.0 headed off into the countryside. They had their hearts set on visiting a distance neolithic site, and this would mean an overnight stay. With the slightly cooler weather, I did wonder if I might get a day out, however work related, uhhh, work conspired against this.
I did, however, put my Big Girl Pants on and made the effort to make the most of the evening. Despite the longer changing time at home – at least compared to Chams – I did think a wee trip out was in order. This is mainly to keep my nerve, and stop me from getting too stuck in the same old patterns.
Traffic wasn’t great as a left home and with that in mind, I ended up in an out-of-town place away from home and work. You know, safety first 😉 I had got my heart set on seeing if I might buy some more Bare Minerals, but there was no way I’d get into town, find the shop, and have time for a check-in with the MUA. This is something that’ll have to wait I guess. Still, something to look forward to.
I did tick one item off my list though. I had been wondering if a shirt might work with my pencil skirt. The answer – at least for the shirt I tried – is definitely not. Well, not unless I want to make my shoulders look bigger. Not something I need a hand with, really, so that went back on to the rail.
I also found out that if you delete the folder where the camera saves data to, it – well, call be crazy! – can’t store stuff in it. So no photo of the fashion crime, but I did manage to spot the error. This one’s not great, but you get the idea of the outfit, at least.
Yes, my trusty green wrap cardigan and some blue Mary Jane heels I know I can walk in.
ProTip: don’t go out in shoes you’ve not worn in. You’ll know about it later!
Era, kindness, and what next?
No, I’m not packing up on YATGB just yet. Got to get my anniversary out of the way first! 🙃 No, this is more… personal. Well, not too personal.
As I type this, I’m no longer employed. Not sacked, which is a very rare thing in the UK – thank you, employment laws! 💖- but it’s time to move on to something new.
Workmates at the coffee morning I invited them to asked how was I doing, and in honesty, it all feels a bit surreal still. In my head, I know I’ve signed the paperwork and I’ve handed my laptop & security ID back. That is me, very much out of the building. Well, what does that mean these days; when so much work is done remotely? 🙃
But in my heart, I know I will miss the friends I’ve made there. Some have been kind enough to want to stay in touch (thank you Signal). Perhaps the good news is that it’s been a gradual process, rather than a steep cut-off; so I’ve had time to mentally prepare for what’s coming.
Yet…. come Monday – yeah, I know it’s a Bank Holiday – I will flounder slightly; knowing that the usual routine doesn’t apply. There is also the need to boost my efforts on getting a new job. Thankfully the finances are okay, and that’s all I shall say on that matter.
Work friends said: “why not take a bit of time off? You’ve worked so hard.” I don’t say this as a humble brag, but I really don’t think I do work hard. Yes, I’m available during office hours and yes, I respond quickly to messages on Teams; and yes, I generally have something that will help. Not that I’m in a “fix it” role – that’s not my bag – but more advice, discussion, and – dare I say – emotional support, to help folk help themselves.
Jeez, that’s not sounding like anything I try do at Chams at all, is it! 😏
Ah, you can take the girl out of the closet, but not the clos – wait, that doesn’t work at all, does it! 😁
Silliness aside, I guess I shall see how these next few weeks, and perhaps even months, play out. On the positive, I don’t have any money worries yet. I do feel I need to get back on the horse – so to speak – and there’s a few things that need sorting out for Chams. The Online Safety Act has given us some digital paperwork to sort out (if that’s not an oxymoron). I’m helping someone in local government with some work to improve access to services, plus there’s some researcher requests come in too. A little time to get on top of those would be a good thing. They may also be a welcome distraction from my impatience around interviews and/or feedback.
Plus, there’s stuff going on “off camera” in the wider Jones family around health, where the news isn’t great. Perhaps having time – rather than a break – is just what’s needed. To be there when people need you; where you can be kind and support them; that feels like a gift 💖
Take care,
Lynn
PS: I had a request from a researcher in Dublin City University around their ECHO Project (details and web link below). If you do decide to be involved, please take care as some of the questions may poke at very personal experiences.
The ECHO Project is a Wellcome Trust-funded study led by researchers at Dublin City University, School of Psychology. It aims to better understand why some LGBTQIA+ relationships thrive, while others turn unhealthy or abusive. The project focuses on lived experience, so it will also ask participants about mental health and difficult life experiences, to understand how these factors impact relationships. Open to all LGBTQIA+ adults (18+) in Ireland or the UK, the study consists of an online survey, with an annual follow-up over 3 years
As long as you don’t have to immediately worry about being able to put bread on the table, having time for the family might be the most important for the moment.
Indeed, Susie. Just a case of money needing to clear, and then we’ll see. Completely with you on family priorities.
I hope they got you a good leaving present, hopefully not something too blokey though.
Good to read that you’ll be okay financially for a while. Fingers crossed you can find something suitable job wise. Have you anything particular in mind? Tesco delivery driver for example or perhaps some freelancing or even a job involves working from home.
Enjoy sometime out for a little while, find your feet and spend some quality time with your other half.
Good one for getting out and about, hopefully your nerve has been successfully kept. Sorry you weren’t able to get your resupply of Bare Minerals on this occasion. Like you say something to look forward to in the future, a visit to the MUA.
I wish you all the best for getting back on the horse again Lynn and remember if you need any leggings or riding boots before you get back in the saddle, let me know I’ve plenty of leggings and boots 😊
I had a really fab leaving card – a digital one, as this now seems to be be the thing. Some very touching goodbyes from friends and colleagues.
TBF, I prefer that having organised a few this year and, now, having received one. I think this one has an e-voucher, so I guess we’ll see how that can be spent. Fairly sure I don’t need any more boots or leggings 😉
As to the next job: it needs to be remote due to caring needs. What I do can be done remotely, so driving in traffic for 40 minutes, only to sit in an office to have video calls, feels a complete waste of time 😉 I mean, that’s an hour a day lost to sitting in traffic. “Ain’t nobody got time for that.” 😁
I’m aiming for something consultanty/coachy, as that’s my skill set and I like that type of work. Fingers crossed 🤞
Fairly sure a delivery driver isn’t for me….. due to my terrible sense of direction 😁
Wishing you well for the future outside the office. I don’t think I could face being an employee again and you may find that self-employment/freelancing works well for you. All the best, anyway, whatever you do, whether it’s as a computer hacker or a glam trans boutique owner. It’s much the same! The one thing I’d say is keep busy between jobs and create a routine as it’s too easy to drift into just slobbing around when you don’t have to be somewhere and do something.
Glad you got some Lynn time outdoors. A bit of smart trans femininity around town is a tonic.
Sue xx
Thanks, Sue. I think that the school runs, keeping the dogs walked, and looking after Mrs J, means that I’ll have some routine to keep me active. I do agree it’s important to be up & about, even if that’s not structured per se.
I think I will try my hand at contacting, which while it won’t come with the luxury of a dedicated pension and related benefits, I wonder if the ability to choose hours and jobs, will outweigh that. Worth a try. The good news is the mortgage has been paid off many years ago, and our outgoings (ignoring my extended wardrobe 😉) are fairly modest.
The time out felt a bit messy, in that I’d not really got a destination in mind, and going out late was new to me. But, slight self criticism aside, it was good to be out and not stay in my comfort zone.
Good luck with your next career move. I hope you find the perfect employment opportunity for your circumstances. I’m sorry to hear that you are having to become a carer for Mrs J. It’s never nice when health problems that require care come relatively early in life. I’m a full time carer myself, and have been since I was 49, so I know what it’s like. Hopefully you will find the perfect work/life balance with your career change.xx
Thank you, Deeanna. Fingers crossed for the future and I’ve been checking on various sites over the years. I may try my luck via an agency, as one was able to suggest a number of different roles that might be possible. The useful thing was that they leaned on skills I have, and in directions I’d like to pursue.
Mrs J is still up and about; she goes to work and manages a walk at the weekend. However, her health conditions conspire to hit her with chronic fatigue – usually resulting in a long afternoon sleep. If she misses that, she is wiped out, bless her. So that means I pick up on the chores, errands, and school runs, because I think that’s what you do as a couple.
Good luck with your job hunt.
Every one tends to use an AI to write CV and application letters 🙁
Since you left your job by choice, do not expect to be able to sign on
Thanks Anon. I tried an AI system, using it to suggest improvements to my CV. TBH, after spending nearly an hour grappling with the suggestions, I deleted the update; returning to the original. The old version felt more ‘me’. The only key changes I knew, where to bold key skills and trim a few paragraphs.
Oh, I don’t intend to sign on. The bar of ‘do you have any savings?’ puts pay to that.
Having once been self employed I got asked the ‘do you have any savings?’ , I told them how much, they said live of that. I then pointed out that cash was to settle an HMRC bill and did they expect me to rob the tax man. It was an answer that they where not expecting. The DWP hate people who can argue out of one of their many traps
Just remember that MS tracks changes to your documents with a history of changes, some job agents will track this. So be smart, send CV’s as a PDF document.
Thanks Anon. I’ll keep that in mind. FWIW, I tend to send PDFs as not everyone has Word – local or on-line.
Good luck finding a job. I have the good fortune to be receiving an occupational pension but so long as my SO is working I need a thing to get me up in the morning! So it’s off to work for me. Just finished the WORST job in the world last Boxing Day and leaving felt so liberating! Back in a HR role now, hybrid working and could not be happier … until my other ‘alf retires in a year or two.
Welcome to YATGB, Chrissie. Thank you for the well wishes. It’s early days yet, but I’ve made some applications, and hoping to hear back soon.
Glad to hear you are free of an awful job. I think we spend enough of our lives at work, that we should enjoy what we do and not be unhappy.