Hi,
How’s things with you? Hopefully you’re staying out of the wind and the wet at the mo. Still, that’ll shift the leaves about, water the plants, and top up the water supplies. Plus there’s the calories earned sweeping the drive and porch from the leaves.
In last week’s post, Sue was kind enough to comment and mentioned (paraphrasing here) that smooth pins are one of the best things as a trans person. Okay, maybe not for some trans masc folk, but for those of us leaning towards femme, yes they are.
For me, and I can only write about what goes on in my head, having my legs smooth helps. For want of a better metaphor, it’s like not being in pain. You know how it is with a headache, a sprain, or an ache in your tooth.
Pain, IMHO, is a funny thing in that we offer talk about being in pain and – as you’ll often hear me say – it’s not a binary. At least, the ‘in’ levels can be mild, annoying, distracting, stabbing, shooting, agonising, to unbearable or worse. The NHS have a very useful scale system that helps give context and stories around the pain felt. The ‘out of pain’ seems much simpler with ignorable to being pain free.
So you’re going about you day and something will happen in which you’re reminded of your discomfort. A migraine flare up, the loud presence of back pain, etc. It’s very far from okay and can be emotionally draining dealing with that. So it is that when whatever ails you is gone, that lack of pain is freeing. I don’t skip about on days of not having a headache, but I’m certainly grateful for the days I am not hurting.
So it is with how my body looks. When it lines up with how I feel about myself – somewhere in the middle in terms of gender – I am without pain. I am just me. No aches or hurts, I just am. It’s easier to feel joy and lean into happy memories when I do not hurt.
In having my toenails painted that’s something just for me. Like a spritz of perfume or a wearing cool shirt, I wear those items because they make me feel good. I go about my day and I might catch sight of my toes when popping my socks on, or seeing my shirt’s cuffs as I type. It’s then I remember and that’s a moment of joy. Likewise, getting into bed or applying body lotion, I’m conscious of the absence of fuzz; my skin feels good, feels right, and I am grateful for that.
It’s a build up of those little things into something big that happens. Perhaps another title for this piece might have been reminders or choices. Such things help me remember and validate who I am. I am more than the clothes I wear, but they also help me feel who I need to be. It’s good to have the option to wear earrings or just the one.
He’s hoping you have you own little helps and they add moments of joy to your day.
L x
PS: Has Twitter disappeared yet? 😋
But what colour did you paint them, that’s the key question 🙂
I always put a pair of earrings in, even in man mode. Although always my left one I end up playing with when thinking. Never even thought about just putting one in.
This week’s colour was pink and before that a rather pretty blue. I do need to replace this week’s colour as the finish isn’t very good. I know, fussy bugger eh?
As to earrings: studs, hoops, or something else?
Oh well, you can have more fun re-doing them 🙂
They are black 4mm balls made from PVD steel, with the standard push back.
Ha ha! 😁 Yes, and then keeping my feet warm on a hot water bottle as they dry. We’re still keeping the heating off at the mo. Something to look forward to when the house is quite on Monday.
The earnings sound very cool. My bloke ones are silver with a simple jewel in them. I think they were from Outfit. Does that make them vintage if the shop is now closed? 😋
Do you have one of those toe spacers thingys too, i’ve not got one yet.
Yes they are totally vintage now, old school cool 🙂
No, I think Mrs J had one as part of a Christmas set years ago. I’ve been using twisted up kitchen paper.
Good post Lynn.
Smooth pins are the best thing ever! I’m like you, having smooth shaved legs helps.
Little things help too, ear piercings, painted toenails, my nostril piercing, my long hair and my slightly longer finger nails all steady the ship and allow me to express my feminine side when dressing isn’t possible.
I get what you say about moments of joy, I get them too. When the light makes my nose stud sparkle, when I see my painted toes, when I feel the wind blow through my long hair, seeing my ear piercings and feeling my smooth hairless skin.
I like your nail polishes, nice colours those.
Thank you, Lotte. Yes, those moments of joy do indeed help. See also that first cup of tea when coming in from the cold or bring greeted by our dogs when we’ve only been out five minutes.
It’s been a while since I’ve felt the wind through my hair. Across the bounce is more likely for me! 😁
Yes to shaved legs. Shaved everything pretty much. Body hair both depresses me and at the same time makes me not feel like doing anything about it. A depression indicator and a depression enhancer, as it were. Alopecia universalis is one medical condition I wouldn’t mind having.
I think I see what you mean about indication/enhancer. To have to somehow tolerate – or more likely, not – something that’s not right about your body is tough. Being stuck in a situation where it’s not safe to change is bad as well. I feel your pain 😔
As to the medical condition, I think missing eyelashes and eyebrows would be a step too far. At least, if the experience would be similar to Gail Porter’s.
Hurry up scientists, we need a spray to switch hair growth off. If I never had to shave my beard again or go for a wax, etc
When it comes to removing my body hair generally it improves the mood/ dysphoria greatly. Problem is sometimes having to clean the bath afterwards.
At least the bath gets a good clean, though! Yes, if there’s been quite a gap between treatments, there can be quite a build-up.
Hurry up, scientists! We need a follicle deactivation cream for our body and a reactivation one for our scalps 😉