In usual YATGB style this will be a bit of a ramble around the subject. Ah, if I was to be paid by the word eh? 😉 The other day, the Ever Lovely Mrs Jones said that her mum was thinking of visiting, but was put off by the drive. For the record, Granny J lives north of the city and we’re very much on the southern edges of the county. We had a conversation about how when you don’t do things regularly when you do need to, they become a bit tricky. Tricky as intimidating, worrisome, etc.
So it was that on Wednesday evening, I was in a bit of a dither when it came to packing my bag for Thurday’s visit to Chameleons. Unusually, not about what I was going to pack, but knowing that when I had, I would be heading off, getting changed, and, I think this was the nub of it, making myself ready in ‘Lynn mode’.
It’s been six months since I was dressed and/or made up, and when I read that statement back, I feel somewhat… well, shallow would be a harsh way to put it, but it’s more complicated than that. I’ve said before and I’ll say again here, that I am me no matter how I look. My thoughts or worries around my appearance, my body, my language, etc, they vary in terms of feeling okay / could be better, but, they don’t so much change in terms of a male/female binary. I am somewhere in the middle and listening to female colleagues and friends, it seems my concerns around age and weight aren’t a million miles apart. Even if I am lucky enough not to have to swim against Everyday Sexism and the constant drip-free of Young/Thin/White is the narrow ideal of what’s consider beautiful. Maybe I’m wandering in the edges of the water, but it’s not my everyday experience. Well, unless you jam me in a suit at a family do, and then I don’t feel right. We may come back to that later 😉
The Ever Lovely Mrs J was her wonderful supportive self about me heading out and I think me making an early tea helped things run a little smoother for the family. I headed off into the night and being first to arrive at the Centre, opened things up, navigated the one-way system, and headed upstairs to get ready. I’ll spare you the blow by blow account, and as I got into the routine of hosiery, corsets, padding, boob tape, etc, so it all started to come back (as Sue commented last time, bless her). I did try on two dresses – one I got in the summer sale (which you won’t see this time around), and the new one (see later). I did have a wry smile to myself on having done what I thought was a reasonable job with blush and lipstick: why? The mask is going to cover those up. 🙂
Coming back to feeling right, having sorted my legs now summer is over helps. I feel more like I should. Does that make sense? Having furry pins while clearly a bloke thing, for me, even as a guy 99% of the time, that look doesn’t work for me. It feels wrong having them like that and I am happier in myself if they smooth…. even if I probably should look into a slight fake tan to bring them a little more colour. Ah, there we go with the fitting in with beauty standards eh? 😉
The evening itself went very well, and the temperature check gun and Checkpoint Charlie was being staffed by Val (thanks Mrs!). Conversation ebbed and flowed as different folk turned up and we caught up with what people had been doing. Some furloughed, many not, etc. I think the distancing and makes make talking a little harder, but we managed, and I think it’s better we do our best to keep safe and protect others. I did miss having a cup of tea during the evening, but again, you have to make the best of it.
As the time ticked by, we put the tables away, said our goodbyes, and it was time for me to switch back. We were out by just after 11, so hopefully, that wasn’t too late given our rental agreement. It’s been so long since we met at the Centre (ignoring last time’s meeting), that I struggled to remember locking up details. Still, I wouldn’t say we were late out all things considered.
With the upstairs being unused by anyone but me, it was time for a quick socially distanced photo of the new dress. The eagle-eyed amongst you will notice a return to the older hair do and I’m looking at getting the longer number restyled at some point. The shorter cut feels more me and with putting on a mask – careful of the earring choice! – this was a lot easier.