Silver Linings


The issues around the bridge closure continue to cast a long shadow over this week. It’s been a funny old week because I’ve been both not at work and working. Mind you, for those us rocking two genders, that may not seem so odd 🙂

The choice between arriving an hour late and getting home two hours late every working day isn’t really a choice. It ain’t good for getting anything done, puts pressure on the Ever Lovely Mrs J (she picks the kids up in the afternoon), and I would be knackered. My heart does go out to those who’ve not got the choice around travel. It must be really hard for those folk.

So, silver linings? Ignoring the grey cloud of iffy infrastructure, most of my work stuff was shuffled around to be done by working at home. Not only did I get the washing done (a bonus), but I cleared a load of work, cut down on time lost to travel, and even managed a spot of home dressing for once. Luckily, there’s no webcam on the kitchen computer as Little Miss uses it in the evenings.

By sheer dumb luck around timings, my nails reached a length I’m not used to, although annoyingly, I did break one – oh the humanity! 🙂 – drying one of the hounds off after they went running the snow we had midweek. Yes, that’s right: travel chaos and a dose of snow to make most people freak out. We’ve had a busy week in Notts 😀

With Thursday being Chams night out, I was a little worried about getting home, getting back out, and then how to get home before pumpkin o’clock. The Ever Lovely Mrs J – as wise as she is lovely – thought outside of the box: why not just go straight from work? Well, why not indeed! 🙂

So it was that was the plan. With a bag packed over lunch at home and an early pass from work, I missed the worst of the traffic and arrived at the Centre with time to spare. While the lights were on, the door didn’t seem open, so as we don’t rent our rooms until about 7ish, I decided to close my eyes for 40 winks. Oh, and I did set a timer just in case I really nodded off 😀

About half an hour later, the karate crew turned up – they hire the sports hall in the Centre – and I was surprised to see the front door open magically for them. Ah, perhaps it hadn’t been locked? Whoops! Still, I was in no rush and the rest did recharge my flagging batteries.

Upstairs was pretty chilly, but with the A/C on warm mode, I got changed and did my make-up. The dress isn’t new and in some way, I wish I noted when I bought it because it’s an outfit that keeps on giving. It’s certainly one to wear with opaques as, given my height, it is well above the knee.

In other good news, I think I am finally getting used to the new hairstyle. It’s been a few months, but in terms of wears, maybe five or six times. Do (natal) women have this issue with haircuts too I wonder? 🙂

I popped downstairs to find Val sorting out the chairs, bless her, and she commented how early I was. I guess I was downstairs and ready before I usually arrive, so that would explain things. Luckily I’d remembered to order new coffee for the group and while I’m more a tea person (T person? 🙂 ) than coffee, I think there’s something rather nice about the smell of a freshly opened box of ground coffee. I did fancy a cup but knowing I don’t have any caffeine after 11 AM, I didn’t risk it.

A few people were kind enough to say some nice things about my dress which was both unexpected and lovely of them to say so. We – the Chams lot – are a welcoming bunch, and if someone looks nice, we do say. I think given a lot of the doubt and worry people often have, not to mention we blokes generally don’t talk about nice clothes outside of Chams, it’s a nice change. Mind you, I did have a chat with a work colleague about a new (and flowery) shirt I was wearing and I nearly dropped into Chams mode to talk about her dress. Luckily, common sense – and work reputation damage prevention – prevailed 🙂

The night itself was busy-ish and I had a lovely talk with a couple who came along for the first time. Going back to what I was saying about worry, I think it’s awesome when partners do their best to support their trans* spouse. I think it’s not a binary situation of doing anything / no you can’t, but finding the place that works for both of you. That may and does change over time, but I think it shows that being a cross-dresser, genderfluid, bi-gender, or elsewhere on the trans spectrum, it’s not necessarily the end of the relationship. Things are changing for people as people change, and I think that’s awesome.

It was soon time to pack up and everyone chipped in to help put things away and make sure we were out before our end-of-hire time. A great night and after the week’s stress around travel and losing my routine (plus work guilt of not being in the office), the night out with friends has put a spring back in my step.

L x


  1. I have a similar hellish commute most evenings, so I go to the TransOx meetings directly from work although the downside to that is that I have to attend in male mode since it’s held in a pub where there is no place or opportunity to change.
    I’ve never seen anyone come with their partner. Given the emphasis on outreach to non-trans people perhaps it might be a good idea for some groups to think closer to home. TheBeaumont Soc had (has?) a group specifically for partners/spouses (and a no-dress rule on those evenings to make it easier to deal with.)
    The dress is nice. Works well with black tights.
    No caffeine after eleven am?! I would be asleep by lunchtime. (I stop at 3 and then fall asleep on the bus home.)

    1. Ah, sorry to hear about your commute issues. It seems to be a growing issue. On the upside, going straight to a night out afterwards sounds good.

      The partner evening seems a good idea. We tried something similar at Chams, but even when we had four folk who might go, it never quite took off. Fair play to Sandi for trying though.

      Thanks for the kind words about the dress. I feel it would be a bit too much leg without opaques, so it’s quite the Autumn/Winter choice 🙂

      Perhaps the lack of full strength yes explains why I often nod off at six 🙂

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