Last night at just after 11pm I was upstairs at Chams about to get changed. The heels I’d borrowed from the Ever Lovely Mrs J were beginning to make themselves known, I was heading into A Bit Too Warm due to the industrial-strength shapewear, and yet, I was comfortable. Not physically, but emotionally.

Thanks to Val Photographics

Maybe it was due to a long spell between me dressing, that I was happy with my look, that I’d had a good talk with friends, met some new members, or maybe none or all of those things. Whatever caused it, I’m not sure it matters. What does, is that feeling of being comfortable with who you are.

I think it’s important to keep such moments. Not to hoard them like gold, but to remember and know that when things aren’t 100%, that they can be and you will feel good about things once again. Perhaps like finding a small bag of sweets in your pocket on a rainy day, or a fiver in the back of your wallet.

Talking of feeling good, towards the end of the night, we had a quick chat about the occasional ride on the dysphoria rollercoaster. It seems some of us – this time it was Katie – who said she felt that somehow she was on this up and down journey, and she wanted to know if it got easier. The quick answer is yes, it does, but it takes time. The whole thing settles down and the ups are less, and therefore so are the downs. Time and some self-forgiveness can help. Perhaps, even, looking back at what’s gone well, may help too.

The conversation moved on – this time about earrings – and I passed on a pair of my old clip-on hoops that I’d clung on to. That made someone happy, and if you can help someone, I think that’s a good thing.

Now the temperature is starting to rise and it’s the start of a long weekend. A rather nice way to be eased back into it all, after the big holiday. Now, just a question of paying off the credit card, sorting out the washing, and attempting to clear the meadow that was the back lawn. 😉

Take care,


  1. Oh, I love your shoes, and that top.
    Yes, the hot weather is definitely against us, which sometimes makes it even more difficult when we see cis girls walking around in loose floaty outfits and wish we could get away with that without all the padding, makeup and wig. Sometimes you just have to remind yourself that we are more suited to moderate climes.
    Good words about the inevitable rollercoaster of emotional ups and downs. There's been a bit of that recently due to a combination of illness and the weather.

  2. Thanks, Susie. Something borrowed, something new (to me at least 😉).

    I wouldn't have picked the top as I'm not sure about patterns. Odd considering my love of ditzy print. But it was an unworn gift the Ever Lovely Mrs J passed on (not a good fit on her, sadly).

    Yes, the summer heat and the amount of skin on show to keep cool is not a good mix fun an emotional standpoint. While away, I felt my pasty white legs were at odds compared to the locals much more even tanned look. Ah, hello free entry to the Emotional Rollercoaster 😉

    Sorry to hear you've also had some issues and I hope those soon clear, so you're more yourself.

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