A long time ago, on a computer somewhere far, far, away I signed up to a retailer’s feedback forum. Surveys and questions come and go with fairly long gaps – not that I mind, I’d rather have something interesting, than noise – and one popped up recently that piqued my interest. Oh, and not to be Mistress of the Obvious, clearly it’s a retailer for women’s clothes. 😉
If you’d like to play along at home, here’s the questions to cut & paste later on:
- What would you like to feel when you’re getting dressed to go out?
- Does getting dressed form a key part of the night?
- Are there any pressures when dressing up?
- What do you do about deciding what to wear? What does a look for different events – meal out, party night, visiting friends – look like?
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| Mirror, mirror, in the woods, Has Lynn Jones, got the goods? |
So, here’s mine and – as ever, ‘cos I’m a nosey mare – I’m interested in how things play out for you, but no pressure if you don’t want to join in.
What would you like to feel when you’re getting dressed to go out?
I want to feel pretty, confident, and that I am all I can be. I want to feel like I’ve made the effort, and that that effort has paid off.
Does getting dressed form a key part of the night?
It is a big part of it, yes, but not all. I think it’s like a ritual, where it’s a warm up to the main event, but the key element of a night out is what I get up to with friends.
Are there any pressures when dressing up?
Oh, where to start! 🙂 I think the main thing is the pressure of not wanting to get it wrong. By that I mean making a mess of my make-up, my outfit just not feeling right, or even just not quite being with it, if that makes sense.
What do you do about deciding what to wear? What does a look for different events – meal out, party night, visiting friends – look like?
So, deciding, for me, comes down to who I’ll be with and where I’ll be. This is also affected by how I feel about my body, so yes, mood does come into it. There are days when I’m okay to show my legs a bit – I know, how racy! 🙂 – and other times I reach for the opaques.
But body issues aside, there’s also questions about how long I’ll be on my feet, will I be sat down, will there be a lot of walking (or dancing), to what’s the temperature going to be like? Do I need a coat?
Whatever the above is, I do sometimes pile everything I think will work on to the bed. Or, if I’m bored at work, I’ll run a series of ideas through my head about what might work.
As to different looks, most of my social life – as a trans person – involves Chameleons, so outside issues – like needing a coat, or a long walk to the car and back – aren’t an issue for me. I guess I gravitate towards dresses because they’re easy, but I’m trying my hand with skirts & tops to mix things up. That’s not to say I’m not comfortable in skinny jeans, and I’ve been known to go a bit ‘office smart’ if we have someone professional come to see us.
Take care,
Lynn
Interesting.
My answers would be:
What would you like to feel?
Feminine, admired but respected.
Does getting dressed form a key part of the night?
Unless you’re off to the nudie party, it’s pretty important. OK, real answer: no, getting dressed is the means to an end. The key part of the night is meeting friends and enjoying oneself.
Are there any pressures?
It’s not so much the clothes as the peripherals: making sure my hair is tidy, my makeup done with care, epilation perfect and I haven’t inadvertently tucked my hem into my knickers. So actually getting the frock on is the easy bit.
What do you do about deciding what to wear?
The classic TGirl advice of wearing what suits the occasion. Do stand out, but only in the right way, i.e. don’t go to the ball in jeans, don’t go to the supermarket in a ballgown.
Sue x
Ah, skirt in kickers. Not a great look, IMHO. 🙂
I did actually do that once, leaving the loos in Costa in Central London. Not only did I then walk through the crowded coffee shop in that state but didn't notice till I was in the street outside. It's the kind of mistake you make once only! I always check carefully now. Sue x
Oh, the shame of it all. 🙂
Interesting questions!
What would you like to feel when you're getting dressed to go out?
Sexy, quirky, badass, and desirable
Does getting dressed form a key part of the night?
No. It's a necessary evil. If I could magically go from naked to dressed and made-up I would take it
Are there any pressures when dressing up?
Not appearing dumpy or frumpy. I want to show I'm genuinely trying to pass, even if I fail. And I would rather people questioned by fashion choices, than my gender. I'm OK with "What the fuck is she wearing?" (I was cosplaying as Black Canary last time that happened 😀 )
What do you do about deciding what to wear? What does a look for different events – meal out, party night, visiting friends – look like?
I try to match the event, but I only really have two looks – nerdy girl and hooker 😀
Black Canary? Five points to Gryffindor! 🙂
BTW, could you do nerdy hooker? Asking for a friend. 😀
Hi Lynn, came across this while idly browsing though a chain of back links from your recent post. First thing I spotted was your tag word-cloud and pleased to see that ‘it gets better’ is in a bigger font than ‘black dog’. Long may that continue.
Then of, course, the Q&A:
‘What would you like to feel when you’re getting dressed to go out?’
Given that most times I go out I am on my own and in public places (a park, nature trail or shopping) my main concern is whether I can blend in or at least not stand out and invite the wrong sort of attention even if I don’t pass. Secretly of course I would like people to think ‘She holding up well for her age’ (with the emphasis on ‘she’) at least from a distance, rather than thoughts about mutton and lamb.
‘Does getting dressed form a key part of the night?’
Odd one. Mostly when going out, I dress (and tend to dress down) in the morning, but I may decide to dress up for myself if I have a whole evening.
‘Are there any pressures when dressing up?’
If I’m staying in, no. But otherwise, looking as good (as in natural) as I can get before I leave the house. Choosing a wig (I might dither between two or three) before I’m happy with how I look.
More practically, trying to avoid the neighbours when leaving or returning to the house (though I think that boat may have sailed a while ago as far as a couple of them go and to be honest I’ve stopped caring overmuch).
‘What do you do about deciding what to wear? What does a look for different events – meal out, party night, visiting friends – look like?’
I haven’t done any of those (though I wish). One pub meet as Susie (sweater and jeans) and a local Pride this year (legging and long skirt, company Pride t-shirt and and hat threaded with trans ribbons). Mostly it’s a dress down sweater and jeans/leggings or long skirt when going out in the day. At home, alone, either the same or a dress or even shorts and a thin top/t-shirt depending on the weather. Also, how much – or little- shapewear do i need or can get away with depending on the weather.
Ooo, I’ll take the ‘it gets better’ as a win! ⭐ There is a discussion thread over on the Chameleons’ forum about stoicism and the conversation is very much about how you can choose to view something. With that in mind, I think part of the YATGB aim is to write about things that I think bring good into the world. Not just things for me, but good stuff that happens in our community too. If nothing else, it’s being able to look back at my own life and think “actually, it’s a bit sh*te at the mo, but there is a lot of good stuff and that will happen again.”
Thank you for the answers on that older post. I had completely forgotten about that, so your comment on those questions are been really interesting. FWIW, I’m with you around wanting to blend in. I think that certainly helps with feelings around personal safety and just being able to get on with your day. Oh, and the mutton comment: that, very much.