I’ve watched the little white box of the Blogger window on and off for one too many minutes. For someone sat so quietly, listening to the distant and infrequent sound of passing cars, you would think that something would come forth. But, not yet. The memories and hopes spin around my mind, fleeting in focus, and then fluttering away. A quick diversion to Pexels finds a suitable graphic and my imagination – or improv – kicks in.
Much like the long, slow, loops of a butterfly’s drift, so too has this week been a case of gentle drips and rises.
The temperature continues to frustrate me, although I did get out on my bike a couple of times to stretch my legs. It’s either that or I’ll be needing to stretch my clothes. 🙂
The dips have been around the feeling that the heavy heat will remain. As I posted last time, I don’t really do hot weather, and chuck in a wig, shapewear, and the need to cover up Ol’ Wookie pins…. well, it’s hardly a recipe for summertime bliss.
But, not wanting to back into the dark woods (yay, CBT for the win!), I decided to try and do something about it. Hence, moderate exercise, time outside of the office, engaging with people, trying to create things, and, that old devil, a bit of material non-therapy.
Why that last term? Because I think I think I now know that retail therapy isn’t a fix for me. Sure, the search for something ‘just right’ – feel free to think of a new riff on Goldilocks’s story 🙂 – helps distract, but that’s about it. I’m wary of using shopping as some type of medication or tool to hope me cope with what’s lurking within.
But, this time I felt it was different. Ah, addicts, how they lie to themselves and others 😀 Could I work around the problem? Did I have to do vest top and skinny jeans or tunic and leggings? Could I do a maxi dress? Well, I have *ahem* invested, so we’ll see I guess. It’s certainly long and loose enough. Maybe with the right wedges and a top….?
So, perhaps when the butterflies of wish and memory circle, I should let them flutter by. Maybe they will land and show me something. Maybe not being too hands on is a way to let the world – and I – be, and, just maybe, I’ll find a little corner of peace that is more just so than anything from a shop.