The Memory of Things


Last weekend, the Ever Lovely Mrs J bought a new car. Well, new to us, anyway. What it is and that we’ve bought it, aren’t fully relevant to this post. What is, at least for me, is the concept of the memory of things.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m a hoarder, although I’ve certainly got more stuff than I need and clothes that I wear. I do have clear outs. At least twice a year, I go through what I have and if I’ve not worn it for six months, or – and this is more usual – it doesn’t fit, out it goes.

Despite that, there are some items I am loathed to get rid off. Books I’ve enjoyed, certain soft toys*, DVDs, old RPGs, pebbles I’ve collected from holidays with a beach, and often, anything that has a memory associated with it.

[ * I have a soft toy goose that the Ever Lovely Mrs J bought me and he looks down from my monitor called is called Lord Snooty. Yes, I appreciate this isn’t standard behaviour for a chap… but then, neither is a fine collection of heels and skirts. So sue me 🙂 ]

Yes, perhaps it’s more to do with memories than the item itself. Unless, of course, that acts as a trigger. Take for example a small blue car that we bought when Wee Man was truly very wee. I think that was my first visit to Chameleons and if I think about that car, the other memory arrives shortly afterwards. The long drive up through the city, snaking my way through the housing estate, before finally arriving and then feeling almost too nervous to go in. At least, that’s how I remember it. The truth of the memory may be different. Perhaps I should re-read my own blog? 🙂

Yet, with these memories and thoughts that are easily triggered, am I feeling a little adrift in terms of wanting to dress up. When I write it down like that, it sounds very silly, and yet, I dare say there may be those of you reading this, that are nodding in agreement. At least, I hope it’s agreement, rather than slumber. (Ed: zzzzzzz)

It’s only been two weeks since the last meeting, yet, here I sit, almost counting down the days. Odd, given that Christmas was a similar gap and with two week summer holidays, there are longer gaps. But, here we are and I am silently ticking off the days in my head. Why is this? Why now? Is it the hint of the end of Winter, were a not-so-young man’s thoughts turn to the Spring/Summer collection? Or is it simply, just one of those things? A phase were there’s a little more yearning because you know you have to wait.

Whatever it is, it will pass – at least something about me does! – and Chams is this coming Thursday. We’re having a Bring & Buy to help keep the coffers topped up and following a spring clean, there’s items a plenty from myself and Mrs J for the group. Finger crossed it all goes well.

Take care,


  1. "I have a soft toy goose that the Ever Lovely Mrs J bought me and he looks down from my monitor called is called Lord Snooty. Yes, I appreciate this isn't standard behaviour for a chap…"

    I have a lot of soft toys 🙂

    Looking down at me from the bookshelves right now: three rabbits, two dogs, one sheep, one pig, one fox.

    In my bedroom (*goes off to take inventory*): seven little teddies, one little chick, one rabbit (Peter Rabbit in fact), one brown bear (my sister's), one polar bear, one dog, one doll.

    I bought the doll relatively recently (sometime in the last few years). I thought it was incumbent upon me as a signed-up tranny to have at least one doll. My doll has a pretty dress and untidy hair – she's a tomboy femme 😉

    1. Damn, and I thought my stuffed toy collection was big! Yeah, I've got quite a few myself (can't remember exactly how many off the top of my head), scattered about my place. Funnily enough, various family members have "enabled" this love of mine, some of the toys in my collection having been presents from them. For example, a brother and a mutual friend gave me a huge stuffed iguana for a birthday present once (as they put it, "We were going through Toys 'R Us looking for a present for you, saw these, and said to each other, 'They're hideous! Let's get [my real name] one!'"), while another brother once gave me a little stuffed ant called Archie (I call him a Biblical ant, as he only has four legs!), who sits near my computer and is my muse. If that's not bad enough, I also find myself making up crazy little stories about them – stories that, when I finally get off my arse and start my own blog, I'll share with the world!

    2. I didn't, no. But I did have a pink teddy called Christine (no idea why I chose that name). And my favourite fictional teddy was Teddy Robinson, who had a purple dress for best – any significance there is entirely retrospective 😉

  2. Re the OP, while I wouldn't exactly call myself a hoarder either (at least, not in the pathological sense of having a house full of garbage*), there're numerous things I have ridiculous quantities of: in particular, stuffed toys (as mentioned above), books (two full bookcases, and numerous stacks taking up half the floor space in my study), CDs (I probably have thousands of these by now), and clothes. With regards to the last things, even if I stop wearing something, I'll generally hang onto it, as a lot of the items in my wardrobe are things I had made specially for myself, and which I consider akin to works of art as a result. I generally don't pay much heed to those rules about throwing things out if you haven't used them within the last n months, and am glad that that's the case – nothing like, say, digging out an old CD, realizing you haven't listened to it for years, and giving it a play (and then obsessively listening to it for the next week or two!). That said, when I finally moved out of home, I got rid of a lot of stuff that I had little use for any more (or which was just junk), and was glad I did – there was probably only one thing I sort of regret tossing then.

    *A close relative of mine who suffers from severe paranoid schizophrenia, on the other hand…

    1. Two, I think. A regular, well, possibly later generation model. He had blue pants on, rather than the earlier eunuch version. Then a spaceman one with a rubber spacesuit. That smelt very odd if memory serves me correctly.

  3. I have a small soft pig I was given in Pink Punters and a few Doctor Who related figures, I was slow to get rid of my cassette collection (80's child) even after I replaced/ digitised and had no means to play them any more which is probably not enough to interest any channel 4/5 programme maker on obsessive hoarders

    1. How do you get a pig in Pink Punters? Please don't say "you buy them a drink" 🙂 Did you win it, or was it a gift?

      Oh, I hung on to my cassettes for a long time too. I guess it was because CDs were too expensive and I never really like records (there, that'll upset the hipsters 🙂 )

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