“One by one we gonna stand up with pride”

Hi folks,

Happy Saint David’s day to the Massive from the Valleys. So…. what’s occurring?  🙂

Stand Up

This month sees Comic Relief starting its charity events and this year, as I think I’ve mentioned in previous posts, they are running a gig – literally – for folk who fancy a go at stand up comedy. Yours truly, has decided to give it a go. Not that I consider myself to be funny per se…. and that’s not false modesty. There are plenty of people out there sharper, wittier or just plain ‘out there’, than I. Yet, it’s not a competition – as it states that on the T&Cs, I should add. If it was, I don’t think I’d be as interested. I’m not after fame and while a little fortune would be nice, I think it’s more that I’d just like to have go and see how it is. Personal challenge? Maybe. A few (trans) friends have asked if I’ll be doing it in Lynn mode. The answer to that is no. I’ve enough to remember without having to worry if my outfit is right or people are being weirded out (Ed: Oh the vanity!)

Well…. I can say this, it is scary. Even if you’re running off some routine in front of half a dozen like minded folk – training plus hopefuls – the butterflies / shakes still kick in. Much as I can gibber on for England, being able to focus and trim the words down so you can go from set-up to punch line delivery in just the right timing, it’s tough. I am a natural born waffler, so I know I’ve got to keep practising and learn my routine off by heart.

We covered some of the basics – projecting confidence, mic work – and then mechanisms for drawing from your own experiences, to techniques to help you draw new material from the everyday. It was tough in places, but if you get the chance to go to such an event, I’d say do it.

What next? Well, it’s the waiting game as there is one training session to go and then the organisers will see who’s stepping up – so to speak – and then we’ll know for sure. My work mates have expressed an interest in going and I know a few friends from here/Chams have too. It may be an interesting experience as the two social worlds collide.


A little earlier in the week, an email arrived detailing the start of a documentary project. I’ll be honest with you. I get about one a month of these blind drops. Unless the email is really spammy (Ed – is that even a word?), I’ll take a look. If the item catches my eye, I’ll share it. The film is called Finding Kim. I’ll let the producer explain, so I don’t make a hash of it.

The message of “Finding Kim” is one that speaks beyond gender. It’s about knowing and understanding yourself & who you truly are as an individual. We want to unveil Kim’s story in the most organic way possible while staying true to the documentary film making process. We wish for Kim’s voice to resonate with anyone struggling with gender identity or self-acceptance. We will follow Kim around for the next year filming the most intimate parts of his life, including his top-surgery, struggles and moments of happiness. We will also be interviewing the individuals closest to Kim. We wish to discover their thoughts on his process and how this will affect their relationship with Kim. Other segments will include others who have gone through the process of gender reassignment. Ultimately, we want the viewer to walk away with a new outlook on gender.

You can find notes about the film here.

Dirty Stop Out

Yes, it was time for a night out and I was determined not to get into a state over packing, or the perceived lack of time on my part. Wednesday night I had everything packed ready. Including the new lippy and mascara I bought the day before.

I thought I’d try a new high gloss lippy, but it was rather vivid and as I’d done my eyes a little strongly, the two didn’t work together. It did go on nicely, although you do need a steady hand to get a good line. Still, back to the free lipstick from Clinque! Like all IT (un)professionals, I keep a backup. The mascara, Maybeline The Falsies Express, worked a treat though. Easier to apply than my usual Clinque one, although I’d say that the latter is far more ‘day time’, if that makes sense. Usually, I used Maybeline’s Great Lash, because it came recommended and I lie the effect. I guess I’m a sucker for those adverts…. the ones where you think wow and then realise the CGI effects and ‘filmed with lash inserts’ disclaimer. What next? Filmed while high on acid and completely fake? :-

While I’d been shopping, I spent a few minutes reading the reviews on my smartphone. As I stood up to go and pay, one of the shop assistants smiled and said, “I don’t think I’d trust my husband to buy my make-up.” She meant it in a nice way and the old Motor-mouth was in action before my brain could stop. “True, but they’re for me, so if I mess it up, it’ll be me who looks like a pig in knickers. Best get it right, eh?”  🙂 Luckily, she laughed.

Where were we? Chams…. So, happy with my look for the evening and after a lovely chat with Sophie, it was time to catch up with friends. I saw Rebecca for the first time in a while and actually got some time to see how she was getting along (very well, despite the slings & arrows of oft quoted literacy . M – not Bond’s ex-boss – but our media student visitor had popped into to catch up and update her project (more on that in a mo). Time was zipping by as I was trying not to ignore anyone I hadn’t seen in a while.

M’s original project with us – us being the trans massive – had stalled a little. So, she’d had a shift of focus to do interviews based around the investigation into the prevalence of depression within the trans community. Well…. I think you just hit pay-dirt 🙂 That was the reason I was late home. Given M’s excellent questioning and my inability to keep my trap shut, I was late home. I think it was coming up to 3 AM when I got home. Far from ideal and I did wake the Ever Lovely Mrs Jones up too…. and yeah, I felt like a such a sh** for doing so. Husband fail 🙁

Although I spoke about some rather scary parts of the depression to M, it didn’t get me down. It’s like that old line about the past is a different country. It certainly feels like that. Although I have the memories of what happened then, I don’t have the emotional memory – bad after-taste?  – of those darker times… and that may not be a bad thing. Having rattled on (at length), a few thoughts were left floating around as I drove home. Namely, enjoy the moment by concentrating on the good times; and should I slip towards the darkness, I know it’s not forever. I can get out….. and that’s not from being alone, but with the help from friends.

Good times.

Take care,

[ Today’s lyric: Caravan of Love by The Housemartins ]


  1. I know what you mean about the adverts. Me, I almost always use cheap stuff from a shop in Holland called Hema.

    Good quality, not tested on animals and cheap. The only problem is they change their line too often – though the last time they did that they took about 30% off of the price to clear the old stock and I stocked up on 5 lipsticks for less than 20 euros 🙂

    How do you function on a Friday. I noticed you post that you were home at 3am – which was posted less than 3 hours before I got up!


    1. Tips from friends and sometimes experience, suggests that inexpensive doesn't mean cheap and pricey, doesn't always mean good. 🙂

      How do I function? Barely. 😉 On a less flippant note, I'm a night owl, so staying up isn't a big problem. I wouldn't like to try that for a week, but the odd late night isn't a big problem.

      That said, the 3AM stunt was far too late from a I-don't-want-to-impact-family-life angle. Most nights – from a Chams point of view, I'm back between just before twelve or just after one.

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