“You know my hips don’t lie,
And I’m starting to feel it’s right”


A bit of a late post from me, but it’s been one of those strangely busy evenings. I clearly remember coming home before six and then after that, it was all a bit of a blur. I guess a part of the evening has gone due to the fact that I’ve been setting up a new computer – well, new to me. This one, despite being four years old, is a  quieter and a lot faster than the other cobbled together unit I had. Sometimes, it’s the little things. Plus, that’s a few hundred quit that I don’t need to spend. I’m not a fan of buying gadgets when I can repair / hack something together to meet my requirements. Money saved means good news considering we’ve started the Xmas shopping already. What about you? Oh and I don’t mean looking for that perfect Little Black Dress either 😉

Gifts Galore

Talking of spending, this week I finally got around to spending some of my birthday money from last month. I bought a top from New Look (no photo yet), a floral pattern bodycon dress (see right) and a jumper dress. The latter two both from Very and after picking them up, I headed home (as it was half-term) to have some lunch at Chez Jones. Unfortunately, my cooking skills are clearly not quite up to par and a few hours later, I was feeling less that 100%…. more like curl-up-and-hide-and-want-it-all-to-stop-kinda percent. Yup, I’d given myself food poisoning. Duh.

Luckily for me, the Ever Lovely Mrs J is a most wonderful nurse and was very kind in ensuring I could rest up. She also kept away during some of the “incidents” and that’s as much as I’m going to say about those. Well, other than the comment “I don’t think I’ve seen you that colour of green before”. 🙂 So, bad times and time of work, but upside? I lost a bit of weight and as I’d got time booked off for the following two days, I was eased back into the world of the living nice and gradually. I guess I was proper poorly; considering my two dresses remained packaged up until Thursday.

Mrs J and I had a lovely chat about clothes and the whole trans situation. We’d been looking at winter boots together and we chatted about what I’d bought from Very. It means an awful lot to me that we can share such activities. It really does make my day…. and yes, I did tell her that too. 😉

Out & About

With two days off to look after Little Miss and Wee Man, I was ready for a night out. Hmm, reading that back sounds awful! That’s not quite what I meant! 🙂 What I meant, was after two days of Dad Duties – y’know, fixing Lego, de-tangling Barbie’s hair, putting Teddy’s shoes on for the sixth time, etc – the idea of a night out where I could let my hair down (so to speak), was very attractive. Plus. I’d got some outfits to try on. What more could a t-girl ask for? 😉

With an early pass out of the door, I headed upstairs to get changed. I bumped into Sam – not Sam H – and we had a chat about various things. She was kind enough to give her opinion on the new clothes I’d got and we both decided the floral dress, while fab, wasn’t quite right. Maybe if I shifted a few more pounds, but hey, I’m not falling into the trap of keeping clothes I’ll slim into.

So, sweater dress it was (see right – and thanks to Soph for taking the snap) and it’s the first one I’ve had like that. It was certainly cosy, although later in the evening, I switched to leggings as I felt a little self conscious when I crossed my legs. Okay, it wasn’t short-short, but you know how hemlines ride up when you fidget. 🙂

After catching up with folk at Chams, Sophie and I headed off to catch up with Sam and Rachel at the pub. It would mean a late night, but with Tanya on her way too, it seemed rude not too. I did delay matters – well, Sophie, actually – as I stopped on the way. There was a young lady waiting on her own not far from the centre. Now, I’m not 100% sure why I stopped, but I did. I guess it was to make sure she was okay. Luckily someone was coming to collect her and she’d just hung up her mobile as I pulled alongside. Hopefully I didn’t frighten her at all…. as much as a 40 something guy dressed like a woman might. I do recall making a joke of “I thought I’d offer you a lift if you were stuck…. not that I’m a murderer or a weirdo.” She laughed and my mouth ran off with “Well, I am a weirdo, but not that type. I better be going.” (Ed: stop talking Lynn and drive on. There’s a love 😛 )

The pub is slightly different to Chameleons, in that there’s often Karaoke on and it’s a different crowd there too (in a nice way). Tanya and I played up to our Scots’ roots with a rendition of 500 Miles by The Proclaimers. We had a lot of fun with it, but. I think the audience merely endured and then joined in. 😉

DIY Curves

Sam was curious about how I managed to get my figure to work. Well, that and kind to enough to say I had a nice figure too. Yes, I did manage to say thanks. I don’t own a corset, but I’d like to. What I do have a control top, home made hip pads and padded briefs to help. Cue then a discussion about how tricky it is and the honest truth is that it isn’t.

(1) Raw materials.

I’ve used two pieces of medium foam – about the same depth as your thumb is thick – to make two shapes. I got mind from a padded parcel box, but I guess you could buy some if you prefer. 🙂 Then I put a pair of regular shoulder pads on top to round them off. If you’re good with a needle and thread, you could sew them together. Personally, I just slip mine under my tights, although for summer / with trousers, I’ve used a trimmed down pair of flesh coloured fishnets to hold them in place.

(1) On the left, are your raw materials. Four regular shoulder pads and some parcel foam I’ve trimmed into shape. I went with some about the thickness of my finger, although I guess you’ll want to vary that depending on your own figure.

(2) Trim to size

(2) The next step is to trim the foam. I’ve put a CD on top of the shape I’ve cut to give you an idea of sizing. I’m just over six foot and a UK size 16. I guess you’d need to lengthen / shorten / widen the shape for yourself. One thing I will add, start over-size and cut down. I did mine through trial and error, basically by trimming a bit off and then testing under tights and leggings. If you know of a better way, please do let me know.

(3) Final shape

(3) This is the finished article – well, so to speak. All this image shows is how I’ve positioned the two shoulder pads on top of the underlying long shape. You may find you prefer to use extra thick shoulder pads, or if you’re lithe, just the long shape. It’s really up to you. I can only write about what’s worked for me and we’re all different.

At only a few quid, it’s a fairly easy way to give yourself some shape and based on what other t-folk have said about the professional hip pads, easier to move in too. I have seen a couple of YouTube videos on the subject. There’s a great one from a drag queen, although she’s way more creative than I am. I guess it’s my IT it-works-it’ll-do mentality coming to the fore. 😉

Take care,
Lynn “No more eggs for me” Jones

[ Today’s lyric: Hips Don’t Lie by Shakira ]


  1. Dear Lynn – oh, please hang on to the floral number. Don't give up on it till you dropped a few bob on a little waist cincher. Between a little hemispheric tightening up, your wonderful DIY curves and your considerable personal charisma I have no doubt you can knock that frock for sixes.

    I am envious of your craftiness. Well done. I just cop out and buy the padded knickers.

    Delighted to hear tales of spousal comfort and happy participation from you. We (chez Bellejambes) dip a conversational toe in the water now and then but try to avoid waves and tidal pulls.

    Proclaimers … that brings me back.

    Take care m'dear.

    1. Hi Petra,

      The floral number has gone back I'm afraid. A waist clincher or corset wasn't going to help. I think the issue is that the dress is bodycon with a capital B. It felt lovely on, however, I'm a bit touchy over dresses clinging around certain areas… and that one clung on in spades. 🙂 So, back it went. There will be others.

      Thanks for the kind words re the Do It Yourself hips. I use padded knickers too, the hips just help balance out my shoulders. Well, that's the hope anyways.

      I trust you and yours are all tucked far away from Hurricane Sandy.

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