“My need is such I pretend too much”


It’s been a bit of an iffy week this time around. A little lacking in the sleep department, a touch too much going on at work and stuff just adding up. I think that lack of sleep didn’t really help and I was beginning to feel like I was slipping back into bad old habits. Luckily…. a self-enforced early night set the clock back a little. To use some project management mumbo-jumbo: lessons learned? Go to be early when it all starts piling up.

So what’s been going off? Well, the event with Boots visiting seemed to go well. The staff turned up with crates of stock and covered five large tables with products. The Chams massive chatted and asked about this, that and the other. I bought a few items, one for me and some for the Ever Lovely Mrs Jones…. including the rather nice freebie Bonus Set. I caught up with friends old and new which is always nice. I managed to hand over the pair of boots that had been languishing in my car to Kate. She seemed pleased which is always nice to see. Plus, I got to reset the trans clock that ticks in my head. Mrs Alison – no real names – asked if I’d paint her nails. I was a little suprised by the request, but obligied none-the-less. Hopefully the resulting paint job wasn’t too cack handed. 🙂

As to last week’s mention of a salon team visiting, I got back to the lady in question and said ‘Thanks, but no.’ It didn’t feel right and have thought about it – and talked it over with the group – the more it feels like it was the right thing to do. Too much of a sales pitch perhaps.

I am…. despite rest, somewhat tired. Not physically, but mentally. I’ve alluded to the idea of social masks before. As time moves on I’m finding it harder and harder to keep mine in place and bottle it all away. I find myself holding back on conversation and events. I know that certain subjects will cause distress and now, I just keep quiet. Anything for an easy life eh? But at what price? I wonder where it is all going. Will I keep the peace to hang on to what I have now, or will it blow up for it all to come crashing down? To be honest, neither has appeal right now. Maybe with careful planning there will be some middle ground. You can hope, right? But then if the safety line is cut, where will it all end?

Freedom, possibly, but at what price and for who and ultimately, why?

Take care,

[ Today’s lyric: The Great Pretender by Queen ]


  1. No matter what happens, remember there are people who care about you Lynn.
    You have my number.
    Big hugs, from the vertically challenged one. ;o)

  2. Sophie: Thanks, Mrs. Much appreciated. Sorry to be a bit of a moaner. I think it all just built up… as stuff does to us all on occasion.

    Stace: Thanks for the kind words. Completely ignoring it all and just enjoying the simple things in life seem to help. I took the kids to the park today and revelled in their energy and lunacy. Bless 'em. 🙂

  3. Hi Lynn,
    Bottling it up is not good – but then 'going on' about something can also be irritating. My daughter bless her is discovering some of the problems of being 'connected' (facebook, BBM etc) and keeps bringing up her worries. She needs to talk but we find it hard to listen. As you say, middle ground.
    Maybe you can engineer something that brings the subject that's bothering you up, allowing at least it to be recognised without making it into 'a conversation'?
    All the best – hope to make it back to Chams sometime. – Penny

  4. Penny: No, neither extreme is good news as you point out. Not sure how to broach the subject really without it be mistaken for a moan or a 'go'. :- Ponder, ponder!

    On another note, if you did make it up to Chams, it would be nice to see you again.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.