‘Misfit, I sit. Lit up, wicked…’

Hello everyone in blogworld,

Hi folks. Did you have a good Christmas? I hope Santa brought you something nice in return for the sherry and mince pie you left out. Christmas was very good with various visits to the rellies and probably a little too much cake. Ahh, tis the season and all that. I guess it’ll be celery sticks and salads in the new year.

With all the socials and parties I’ve been to, I think I must have been out (en femme) more than I ever have before. The thing is, it is rather addictive. There is were I begin to worry a little. Is it that I’m a simply a crossdresser and going out is just pure fun? No work stress, obligations or ties? Just being fabulous in fancy shoes, having a natter with the girls and being able to scratch the itch that dressing up allows you to do? Or – and more worryingly – am I becoming more at home presenting myself as a female? Am I relaxed because I feel ‘right’ or because being dressed ticks the box in my head that reads ‘good times’? I have a wonderful wife and a lovely son. I think I would lose both of those if I went down the full-time path. Deep down, it’s something I do not want to do and I fear it. What really worries me though, is do I get any choice in the matter? Being trans isn’t optional – once your brain is wired that way, to fight it only leads to trouble (self-loathing, purging, guilt or depression). I guess my question is: how far will things go? As far as I want? Until I am happy? What about those I love? Must I chose this over them? Questions, questions. I am hopeful that it will not come to that.

Take care.


  1. If it’s any consolation lynn I’ve been going out for about 10 years now, I’m married with children and it’s had very little impact. If anything I think about dressing up a lot less. Repression is a much less attractive path. My advice… enjoy. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.