Hi,
Today is World Kindness Day so I am hoping that some positive vibes will spill out into the wider world, and maybe, just maybe, things will be a bit better for a spell.
Finding Hope
This week, Positive News published a story – interview? 🤔 – with Caitlin Moran around creating hope. I’ve enjoyed reading Caitlin’s articles for a while, and certainly her quote about “I’ve nothing to wear” – and what that really means – remains as sage advice in my head. It’s not a long read – that’s neither good nor bad, it’s just an observation – so please do take the time to have a look.
Perhaps the article – nay, attitude? – chimes so deeply because I would like to think that we’re not yet ****ed. I don’t know why I asterisked out ‘cooked‘ but hey ho 😉That and the previous enjoyment of other writings have activated the Halo bias 🙂
So while Ms Moran writes about the world, society, family, and the personal; is there anything we might take away from a T point of view?
I would argue – perhaps ironic, given what I’m about to say – that not looking online at the haters and liars might be a good start. I think I’ve certainly been there thinking in the past that “if that’s the narrative, then won’t that win?“. But over the last few years, the unassailable idiocracy of bigots, rent-a-gob grifters, and their ilk – well, in modern parlance: Haters Gonna Hate. I doubt anything I write here or even when I was back on (anti)social media, would change views. Not that you can change a bot’s “mind” – it’s just a slop generator, spewing out nonsense.
Talking of slop, this still makes me laugh:
“My friend… I’m not going to answer any more of your questions. I hope you won’t take this personally, but I am reminded of something my old uncle told me, long ago, back on the farm. He said. ‘What’s the sense of wrestling with a pig? You both get all over muddy . . . and the pig likes it.’” –
Cyrus Stuart Ching (source)
I am mindful of the phrase you can’t argue with stupid which may seem to punch down – but hey, if you can’t mock a bigot, what is the world coming to? 😉 Side note: a bit of turning bigoted arguments to look at different targets often reveals how insane the thinking is – or lack of. It can, IMO, show the lunacy for what it is, and through humour, what seems powerful can be brought low. I feel you only need to look at the summer of 2026 and Count Binface’s antics to see that in action.
So, if we’re not engaging with that, does this mean those views will proliferate? I would argue, no. Instead, meeting folk in the real world, being out & about, being just – well, normal! – and kind; is the thing that changes views. If I think about Val’s trips out; Sue’s recent holiday visits to Scotland with Roz; Ally sharing her love of bikes, photography, *and* looking femme – I think all of these have interactions and raise the profile of us T folk. There’s also Stevie, Joanna, and Izzy who are out and living their lives as they need to. Again, being in public and reminding folk that trans folk exist and we’re not these scary monsters the media – and others – paint us as.
All of the above and – dare I say – being out. Out as is in open about your trans nature, being non-binary, or genderfluid – however you identify. I will admit that I struggle with this one. Yes, I pop out into the real world for a handful of times a year. I have done outreach or education Q&A things in the past too. But, I am still in the closet at work and I am not out to my family. I don’t say these things as negatives, but as a statement of where I am right now.
I am wondering with the kids now grown and having left home, if now might be the time to be open with them. I don’t want to make things weird for them. I know some (t) friends have and it’s gone okay. Likewise, I wonder about work. We’re not a big firm and I think I’m leaning on an open door. Why come out? I guess to link the “those people” with “but Richard’s not like that” vibe. I’ve read a few times that what makes the whole Those People Are Coming For You witch-hunter nonsense collapse, is the simply lived experience of knowing a queer person in your family or circle of friends.
That’s my ramble of thoughts on it. Do you have any ideas you’d like to share?
Family
Eee, it was chilly that night! 😉 I’d been to see my folks on Thursday as Dad wasn’t 100% well, bless him. He’s seeing specialists, so I think things are going in the right direction. Considering he’s in his ninth decade, he ain’t doing bad! 🫂
Oh, Jones Senior lifehacks: light exercise from gardening, avoid booze, walk the dog, enjoy things when you can, and if you want to do something – give it a go!
Ah, that would’ve been better than my previous multiple paragraphs about hope. Pants… 😁
Chams
I will be honest and say I’m still not used to getting ready at home, and driving to Chams HQ. I guess I am so used to the old routine over the last two decades or so, that this feels quite new still.
In an effort to avoid being delayed by the traffic, I decided to go for simple in terms of outfit. A much loved dress – which I seem to have worn last month! Ah, but it is a fave and there is the Richmond/Jones Style Directive* – which Sue and I absolutely didn’t just make up for a laugh…. honest 😉
When in doubt, wear something that makes you feel good about yourself.
Richmond Jones Principle (source)
So, favourite dress in mind, boots because it was cold out, and – bless her – a loan of a very, very old coat from the Ever Lovely Mrs J. I think the coat may be proper vintage. As in bought in the 90s and kept safe in the cupboard.
I am fairly sure we bought that coat before we had children. Possibly from a big old department store in Boston, while on holiday in the US. Ah, but had Fall Out 4 been out then, I might have known a bit more about the Boston history! 😁 Meh, and the say gaming doesn’t teach you anything 😉
Talking of games – it was a fifteen year anniversary of Skyrim this week. I remember both Maddie and Sam talking about how much they were enjoying that on the game’s release. Jeez, that would’ve been downstairs in the big room at the Centre. Larks, fifteen years.
It did seem to be serving X Files Dana Scully vibes, but I don’t care – it was cold and I was warm in it! 😁
Once I got Chams HQ’s heating running, that took the chill off the room, and as some less than kind previous hirer had put all the tables away, I was soon warmer having hefted them between rooms, unfolded them, and then put out a dozen plus chairs for the evening. Still, good for the heart rate I guess!
I had decided to do my nails on arrival, as that would reduce the risk of messing them up while traveling, and – more importantly – let me save time at home. Yes, they can be taught 🙂
The evening itself was fairly busy with two new folk coming along for their first visit. Good to see them being welcomed in by the group, and for some of our recent regulars sharing their experiences. Again, all good stuff, and maybe that’s something for the Hope notes above – being part of your community helps you, and it helps others too.
No matter was silliness the (sarcasm) the Great & the Good are up to, that you can be with friends, enjoy tea & biscuits, somewhere safe – there is always that, and a safe place is very much welcomed.
Next time we’ve got Nik from Wigeroo visiting (fingers crossed) and then December will be the Xmas party. I guess I better get 2027’s meeting dates on the Chams’ web site, and start a forum post about the Christmas Fuddle.
Oh, and the washing machine has just played it’s tune, so best crack on!
Toodle pip! 🙂
L x