Hiya,
I was going to lead in with an apology for not having a pun about a certain chocolate and caramel biscuit snack. Well, two fingers to that idea 😉
International Women’s Day
Firstly, happy IWD and I hope you saw some positive news stories or events wherever you are. This year’s theme is Inspire Inclusion and PinkNews have a list of amazing queer women who are inspiring and leading change.
I was deeply moved by Jess Philips and her speech around the lack of progress for women’s safety. The ineptitude and shrugging off around the need for us to improve legally is, well, shocking… and yet unsurprising given our current bumbling administration. They truly seem asleep at the wheel. Okay, maybe that’s unfair: they do seem to wake up for tax cuts or a chance to punch down on rights.
I’ve written before that I don’t think of myself as a women. Genderfluid, yes. Transgender, also, yes. But I’ve not transitioned, so while I think of myself as somewhere in the middle; socially and physically, I’m a bloke.
Yet, if I go out in the world in Lynn mode, I’m aware of my safety – or more accurately, the risks. Partly as a trans person and partly as appearing female. BTW, if you think I’m “cosplaying as a woman”, we need to have a talk about just how uninformed that is 🙄 That and the shortsightedness that that’s both invalidating a swathe of the population’s lived experiences, and putting enemies in front of allies.
As someone who’s caring for a partner with long term health issues, I do the school run, errands, and more housework. I don’t say this to get the violin out, but more that it’s opened my eyes to the pressures of balancing working life with home. I should point out that my employer is really progressive in this area, and still, my internal (infernal? 🤔) guilt trips as a pop out to fetch Child 2.0.
I’ve heard from other working Dads, who’ve said how they’ve been pressured over why are you picking the kids up? This isn’t a oh, poor men grumble: it’s the opposite; why are we expecting women to do all the childcare? All that stress and nonsense…. and for less pay than a male colleague. It’s not right.
So, no, I don’t have the life experiences of having been raised female not living as such. I think I do have some common ground, but I’m well aware of my male privilege too.
So, what can I do? Support female colleagues in what they do; stop male colleagues from talking over them; listen; try not to be That Guy; and push for equity and inclusion where I can.
Blog stuff
Six months has gone by quickly, in that it was time to pay the new hosting company. Not a lot of money, but certainly more than free – which I see the attraction of with Blogger, WordPress, and – what’s that new one? 🤔 – Substack.
I’m happier with the new company as their support, while not telephone based, is friendly and quick. They’re also based locally, so while YATGB lurks somewhere in a data centre, far, far, away; I feel some of my pennies are making it into the local economy and employment too.
As I tapped on the phone to pay up, I looked at the numbers and thought about what YATGB means to me. It’s around 14 quid a month to run the site, and in honesty, I enjoy writing things here. It’s good to hear from you as well, which makes me feel part of an online community. I think there’s also a certain amount of old school charm, to have kept plugging away on an old medium like this. Lots of other folks have moved between social media platforms as tastes and companies have changed.
I guess, sometimes it’s not about the money, it’s about what using it for things that help bring you happy memories.
Gaymer fail
I think it was around May last year, that I restarted Skyrim for another play through. Through changing the game through modifications written by the community, it’s been an absolute joy to add new features, boost realism, or visit new lands created (and voice acted) by some incredulity talented people.
When it comes to gaming, if there’s the option, I’ll play a female character. Pretty much because that feels right to me and there’s something to be said about gains of self acceptance, even when I know this is just a game: some clever programming, well done story, environment, and play style. It helps, well, balance me, I guess. Feelings of rightness and representation.
I managed to survive the Great Christmas 2023 Update Wreck that broke a lot of installs. Given I had pretty much played most of the extra adventures, I was in a slow spot. So, I thought I’d update and embrace the new. I mean, I work in IT, and I’ve some experience of backups, restores, and trawling through crash logs to fix things. What could possibly go wrong….? 😁
Three evenings later and it’s clear that version of the game is never coming back. In the words of Mr Hugh Grant, in a popular 90s film: “Bugger.” 😣
So, that setting, the character, their virtual family,et al, are kaput. On the positive, at least it came at a time when I’d just about finished all I could. Yes, I shall miss the little world of built up. I will not be able to tweak things with ‘just one more mod… Ooo! That’s clever“, and of course, losing the boon of feelings around self acceptance / validation – even in a make believe game – where you can be openly queer without issue.
So, it looks like I’ll be downloading a new set of modifications and replaying with that. Given this set is created and bug fixed by a well known creator, I’m hoping to dodge some of the wobbles and weirdness of handcrafting my own build. Still, it’s a learning curve and another chance to enjoy.
Besides, I didn’t find the trans wizard, looking to magically reform to who they needed to be. I feel a mission coming on 😉
“Once more unto the battle of Whiterun, dear friends, once more!” 😉
L x
To be honest, I can’t keep up (or be much bothered to keep up) with the constant evolution/churn of different social media platforms. I still use blogger, though I haven’t posted anything in over six months. A lot of my friends are still on FB so I’ve not felt any reason to move. But then I am old tech generally. I still have a working turntable, CD, DVD and even (whisper it) VHS and cassette, though I can’t remember the last time I used the latter.
The nightmare of software updates. What would possibly go wrong indeed? Good luck with the new character, and the quest for the trans wizard.
True, Susie. FWIW, I think if what someone’s using is working for turn, and it’s not a big faff, why change? Okay, there’s perhaps security issues with software, but if that DVD player is offline and does the trick, I think new doesn’t always mean better.
A few years back, I remember reading an article in the IT press, where the author suggested to not buy a smart TV*…
( Shall we skip the pub about chic office wear dressing? 😉 )
…but use a plugin gadget, as the latter where easier to update, to replace, and, of course, not buy unless you need the goodies l features.
Talking of which, I’ve recently reconnected our BluRay player, as Child 2.0 has discovered a love for concert DVDs.
Managed to get the game reset and the basic level of mods going. Jeez, when you start using your ITIL Change Management and bug fixing should, you know you’re heading off piste and into the lands of Deep Geek 🤓
Your overlooking Baroness Casey actions in the house Lords yesterday
Thank you, Anon. I’d not heard of Casey’s actions and had to rummage online to read up on her.
IMO, I think Casey and Phillips are completely correct in that legislation – and pursuing prosecution – needs to massively improve to reduce crimes against women.
Meanwhile, sections of the press and politics are focusing on the targeting trans rights and immigration. Talk about avoiding the obvious. 🙄
So, 50% of our population has less pay, more discrimination, less opportunities, and are a greater rush of being the victim of a crime? That is not okay.
It amazing the amount of poisonous vitriol that some news organs can generate all aimed at small community all suggesting that they are danger to the moral soul of the country which just happens to be a old of old cobblers.
It also don’t like the way that Sturgeon used trans rights to try and force a conflict between Scotland and the rest of the UK
The last survey I read, suggests that its actually 51%, we should all be equal, its rather sad that there is still much rampant discrimination
Vilifying a minority – IMO – is a tale as old as time. I remember reading some research about how medieval gossip around witches, covered the points of A) they’re after your children, B) they’ll looking to recruit, and C) they’re going to take your things away. Hmm…. Where have I heard that repeatedly about gay people, immigrants, and now trans folk. 🙄 A load of old cobblers indeed!
Sturgeon, I think, like all politicians, is a complex figure. I feel she was on the right track trying to push rights forward with the party, and with all rights changes, there’s those opposed to them. Crazily, see women against women having the vote, during the suffrage movement.
If we’d had a more progressive government in the UK, I wonder if it would have passed. I guess we’ll not know the answer to that.
I’m think I would be happy with trans-woman, although I don’t feel I am changed enough to be there yet. Getting nearer at least. I felt a little bit awkward when a lovely cis women nicely included me as a woman in an IWD post. It was nice of them to do so, but I feel a bit like an imposter.
Was nice for the Notts Womens centre to include trans-women in their invite for their event.
I guess having your own hosting gives you more security in knowing you can back it all up somewhere in case the worst happens. Were you able to migrate your blogger posts and pictures fairly easily ?
Ah, feeling like an imposter. FWIW, I get that too when folk talk about trans women. Not that I think there’s a power hierarchy – knickers to that idea. Always together ✊ but more, I’m not directly part of that transitioned community.
Nice to be included, however, bless her. Likewise, NWC – they’re incredibly supportive of all women and do an amazing job.
So, Blogger migration: yes, there’s an app for that 😉 I found it a bit difficult, but I think that says more about my skills that the software. You could test that out on InstantWP on your own computer. Or Docker if you’re a clever clogs 😉
I practically used to live off Twix. Made me the man I am today.
Personally, I’ve never felt anything worthwhile came from trying to define things like “woman”, “trans” or “gender” precisely. Such definitions are almost always connected with compartmentalising and controlling people. Traits vary from person to person and some are more masculine or feminine but no-one at all, it seems to me, is ever 100% masc or fem throughout their life. Drawing a line where one trait ends and another begins is entirely arbitrary and doesn’t seem to reflect nature.
Sue x
Did you dunk your Twixs in your tea, though? Serious sugar hit of done into hot chocolate. Well, so I’m told. 🙂
Yes, definitions with hard and fast rules can be problematic. Just look at the platypus, the science bothering little minx 🙂 But, communities of people make sense I think, but – IMO – I think they with best when self defined by the group. At least, until you get to gatekeeping and “you’re not a proper blah unless you do/have/are…” 🙄
All that said, I think International Women’s Day is important. Perhaps like Pride and Trans Awareness Week, we need them until we reach equity.