Hi,
Yay for Fridays! The magic of what might be as the weekend stretches out before us.
Mind you, the above is no less, even if you’ve been a work dodger, like me, and had most of the week off. 😉
But, it’s half-term and I think I can safely say, everyone at Jones Towers was in bed of a break. Certainly Child 2.0 (exams + school), the Ever Lovely Mrs J (difficult to be that awesome day in, day out), and Muggins here…. who just needed a break to recharge.
Past Behaviours
As it was half-term, Mrs J and I have been balancing child care, looking after the hounds, and Life Stuff – so far, so typically working parents.
With Child 2.0 wanting to go to a far away venue, off they both went as I was on dog care duty. In days gone by, I would’ve long planned outfits and perhaps even a destination out…. but instead, I stayed home and tidied up.
I know, there must be something wrong with me. 🙂
Okay, something else wrong with me. 😉
No, not that else. The other else! 😁
The truth of it, is that I just wasn’t in the mood for the faffing about, rummaging, then shower/shave/slap, and rushing around A to B.
So, instead, I tidied up my ‘fancy wardrobe’ of old paperwork, bags from shopping (Xmas, birthdays, and mine), and sorted out a few things to go to Chams.
I would say, having the choice that I didn’t have to rush in to that gap, felt like a boon. What I mean is, I think it’s a good thing to feel that I don’t need to ‘panic dress’, because I’m lucky enough to have the group and the Ever Lovely Mrs J’s acceptance too.
Little Things
On our walk today, we happened to stop by a jewellers in the village and do some window shopping. It’s not like we’re interested in buying any items, but sometimes you can just admire the crafting of an item.
That and try to keep my jaw shut, when I spotted a 300 quid pair of earrings. They were just along from the 600 quid set. I could feel my Scottish heritage trying to make my eye twitch 😉
Fer a pair o’ wee studs ya stick in ye tabs*? Ya daft Ned!
( * Clearly I’ve been affected by the Nottinghamshire slang for ears 🙂).
We chuckled at the prices, knowing that folk pay more and we don’t. Cue the Ever Lovely Mrs J to say that we could keep an eye out for some new gemstone studs for me, bless her. Mainly as the set I bought from Outfit / Dorothy Perkins are looked passed their best. Mind you, how long since Dotty O closed their doors?
Ah, the age of ones clothes as you notice stores of yesteryear…. like the jumper I had on today from Debenhams. Still, things that last and stay current are a good thing IMO.
A Break
It’s been a very pleasant and laid back week with a staycation. Breakfast out, long walks in the woods, some tidying up, and putting a shoe rack together. Not exactly the white knuckle ride of the Kessel Run, but it means we can find our boots, rather than having to track them down from a dog bed.
I’ve managed to sort out the group’s payment account, so we can collect subs again. A happy side effect of this, is that I’ve worked out I can use my phone as a payment terminal. Useful in case I forget it or it plays up.
More gaming has left me in a virtual safe space which is cool. Yeah, bandits and demons are literally out to kill you…
– rather than defraud the tax payers and dismantle democracy. Steady on, old gal 😉 –
…. but having a character that looks right, is accepted for who they are, and the world doesn’t bat an eye that it’s two women married; yeah, I can dig that. Yeah, I know it’s just a game. Yet, that virtual space lets me wander around, Interact, and it’s validating in a way.
Oh, and I was touched to see a local florist had put up a Pride coloured, inclusive L O V E in their window. That and the nearby church had a Love is Love rainbow too.
So good to see acceptance and representation 🏳️🌈💜
L x
Ah yes, having the whole day to yourself but without feeling the urgent need not to waste a moment of it by changing out of boy drab as fast as possible. Which can sometimes feel equally stressful, especially if the makeup doesn’t go on quite the way it should, you can’t lay your hand on the top you want, or the face in the mirror looks back and says “Who do you think you’re kidding?”
Yesterday was a bit like that. I did let Susie take over for a bit in the afternoon to relax and sit down to read for a bit and watch the snooker, but only after I’d done the washing and shopping and been told off for logging into work in the morning on my day off to run a couple more tests. (I still haven’t completely broken that bad habit.)
Good to hear you had a relaxing time off yourself. More self care and less stress – either from outside or self-imposed – and time to do things at your own pace rather than feeling everything has to be done at once. I enjoy our Sunday meals for that reason, because I have the whole day to prepare rather than rushing at the last minute to get everything ready on time.
Ah, the Spectre of Self Doubt*, then the gap between how you’d envisaged your efforts, and the results. Not always an easy line to walk, IMO, and personal disappointment can be an ’emotional heavy lift’ to push aside and enjoy the time and freedom to be authentic. Jog on, Dysphoria Demons* 🙂
( * Other metaphorical alliterations are also available 😉 )
Instead, I think there’s a benefit of, if you forgive them old reference, That’ll Do, Pig. What I mean is, is go in to just try and accept the results are likely to be good enough, given your time, energy, and whatnot.
Being at home and having the opportunity to dress, then do some household chores: that seems to help. It’s not the BS that keeping house is women only (that attitude can get in the bin), it’s more moving around, getting things done, having something to show for your efforts, and while authentic: I’d say that’s a win.
As to cooking, I leave that to far more practiced and skilled persons. Simple stuff is okay, but freestyling with ingredients continues to elude me. That said, there’s some complex meals we do that, as you point out, if taken slowly and carefully, payout if that’s the right word.
See also the phrase “it can be better to travel in hope, than to arrive.”
At least when spending time ‘home alone’ you don’t need to worry about passing (although, as a number of people have written, you shouldn’t get too hung up worrying about passing anyway) and so it becomes more about how you feel rather than how you look. That said, wookiness and visible stubble are probably not going to help your you feel either so taking the opportunity for self care and pampering is also good.
I’ve done domestic chores from my early teens (working parents) so I never fell into that trap, but you’re right; it’s as much feeling you’ve not frittered the day doing little more than admiring your nails.
Improve cooking is fun, but means I can never exactly repeat the same meal twice, but have to trust that the next attempt will be as good, but slightly different.
As for that last quote: It was definitely not written by someone wanting to get home after a long day who runs into a nose to tail log-jam on the A40.
Ah yes, passing. That’s a pain and, for me at least, it’s something I try to ignore. Not easy, though. All the stuff you absorb about ‘how you should look’ and what have you. A stick to beat ourselves with. 🙄
Perhaps the quote applies more to learning, creating, or reading? Not sure so much the commute home 😁
I think the importance of pottering around without feeling you must be doing something more productive can’t be overstated. It’s hard to push aside the guilt but sometimes one just needs to amble along a bit. Sounds like a good week to me. Sue x
Thank you, Sue. Yes to pottering about. Just the other day, I was reading an article about the importance of downtime at work. Giving yourself some space to ‘freewheel’, rather than constantly pushing to improve and do stuff. Perhaps this applies at home too.
We’re not machines, so breaks, rest, and relaxation are vital for us.
Cheers to you and the Ever Lovely Mrs. J for making the most of every moment, even if it means resisting the urge to splurge on those fancy earrings!
Thank you, Melody. Yes moments together are quite the gift.
Mrs J surprised me with a set of jewelled silver studs for when I’m in bloke mode, bless her.
PS: Just taken a look at your blog and FWIW, I’ve really enjoyed your posts. The ones on metal health, clay eating, and the style posts too. The afro and fascinator combo are fab 🌟