How’s things with you? Hopefully all good. After last week’s drift into and back out of the past, I guess we’re back again to the present. Blogging, IMHO, is somewhat of an odd thing. It’s got that kinda weird public/private thing going on. There are things on here that I write about that I don’t talk to many of my friends about. Well, certainly not workmates or friends who aren’t trans.
Take for example Tuesday evening; the kids have broken up, the Jones Massive have had tea, and everyone is doing their own thing. I decided to pack a bag for Chams, hoping that taking a little more time would mean that I wasn’t in quite a rush Wednesday, or even Thursday itself. Much as I leave my holiday packing until the 11th hour, with Chams, I don’t. I’m sure a wiser person than I could make some value judgment about my emotional investment in one versus the other 🙂
Anyhoo, I’d hung up all the items I’d rather lazily left folded in my cupboard, and took to the task of sorting out what to wear. Nothing. Zip. Nada. I was knelt looking at an empty sports bag, and no outfit came to mind. From the bed, the Ever Lovely Mrs J was reading, and she piped up: “You okay, Hubby?” Not her exact words, but not everything is shared here 🙂
I answered honestly and truthfully, that no, not completely. I did not know what to take. Now, considering I’d just taken twenty minutes packing dresses, tops, jeans, and a tunic away; the words “I don’t have anything to wear” would not be accurate. It’s times like that when I’m reminded of Ms Moran’s comment (below), which seems as true for part timers like me….
When a woman says, ‘I have nothing to wear!’, what she really means is, ‘There’s nothing here for who I’m supposed to be today.’
The Ever Lovely Mrs J put down her Kindle, and looked at me. “Is there anything you’d like to borrow?”
Again, in truth; no, I have a sort of unwritten rule that if I’ve bought her something, it’s for her, not me by proxy. If she offers, that’s okay, but to put another unwritten rule into text, I like her to have had the pleasure of wearing an item (not literally) first-time around.
I laid out what I’d thought about on the bed. It was the vest, lace top, footless opaques, and denim skirt. A sort of go-to I-don’t-know-what-to-wear-in-the-summer outfit. Mrs J’s expert eye was cast and found, like me, the outfit choice lacking. Cue a series of suggestions, including white skinny jeans, sandals and a red tunic. Hers, incidentally.
With a bag now packed, and an emergency outfit sorted (black jeans + top), I was much happier than before. Not just because of the help – but for the acceptance. It was a joy to have the openness and not the corrosion of secrecy between us. Yes, it’s taken a while to get here, but that’s okay. Good things don’t happen overnight, and a relationship needs care, attention, and, above all, love, to keep it going as things change.
Skip forward to Thursday night, and as Val readied the chairs & tables, I gave the outfit choice a spin. Well, it didn’t work with leggings, and the white jeans weren’t quite fitted enough. So, fall back to my black skinny jeans, and wedge sandals. Cue one happy, if not-so-typically-dressed, husband. 🙂
Chams itself was fairly busy given the cooler weather, and we had a very interesting conversation about the group towards the end of the night. All in a positive way, I should add. There’s some notes over in our forum, and two of them are around doing more for our transmen. Let’s hope with some team effort, we can make Chams a go-to place for them.
For a change, I’ve made the staircase snap into one. Left is the outfit the Ever Lovely Mrs J suggested and loaned; centre is a new Joe Browns dress; while right is the vest from left. I wasn’t sure about the Joe Browns’ number, but it’s too late to send it back now!