“All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world,
So there was only one thing that I could do…”

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Hi,

Today I have – in the words of Jessie’s Diets – been in a buoyant mood. I think that may be due to a few lucky happen stances, a good night and just life in general being good to me. Even the Friday morning meeting slog didn’t dampen my spirits. I must have been really annoying to work with today. 🙂

Lies, damn lies and statistics

I’d like to say a big thank you for those of you who keep coming back, reading and commenting on this little blog of mine. Just this week the stats crept over the 100,000 mark, so thanks everyone. It’s very much appreciated.

Chocolottery

In terms of little fortunes coming my way, while Chez Jones has yet to scoop a lottery win, I did win two bags of my favourite choccy snack (Maltesers) back to back. Mars, the vendor, are offering a 1 in 6 chance to win another chocolate. Despite grumbling earlier in the week that I rarely won anything – and I buy Maltesers daily – it was a very pleasant surprise to win a free bag….. and then to find that the winning bag then let me win again. Result!

Out

Despite managing to be late home pretty much every day this week, somehow I got myself sorted and the kids read to before 8pm. With dad duties sorted and a quick peck on the cheek with the Ever Lovely Mrs Jones, it was off to Nuthall for a t-girl’s night out.

I’d got my outfit choice down to one. I know, shocking isn’t it. Actually, that’s not 100% true, I had taken a long skirt – floor length – along to try on. More on that later on. But the evening’s outfit was slightly shiny black leggings (not PVC), a new purple-white skater style dress/long top and my new boots.

Now, the boots, they arrived about two weeks ago. I bought them with what was left of my birthday money and I think they are the most expensive footwear I’ve ever bought. Perhaps to some folk, ninety quid doesn’t seem like a lot, but it’s a lot more than my regular clothes budget! My, they were fine and I’ve been very happy with my purchase. Sadly, I forgot to unpack my camera, so you’ll just have to take my word that I felt great in said items. 😉

Time Line?

We had a visit from a student who was doing research into the trans community and if there is any domestic violence. As far as I know, there’s no direct correlation, but I can think of two people who may have been affected at certain points of their lives. The question was also raised over what constitutes abuse? Someone suggested that domestic abuse isn’t necessarily physical, it can be bullying or emotional trouble too. The old clichĂ© of “you wouldn’t do this if you loved me” springs to mind…. not that I’ve heard that personally.

That lead us on to the generic life path for t-folk…. well, I can only draw from my own and friend’s experiences, so please, don’t consider this to be gospel. If your story is different, that’s what the comments box is for. 😉 So back to the matter in hand, in some cases, the trans life path runs a bit like this:

  • Early years: curious about how girl clothes feel. Wonder why some clothes are for boys, some for girls.
  • Young (eight to eleven?): realise that there are some things boys don’t do. Learn to lie about your feelings and hide them.
  • Teenage years: Not pleasant for many folk. For trans teenagers, you’ve got spots, peer pressure, coming to terms (or not) with who you are and the fact that you’re turning into an adult. From a male trans point of view, that’s facial & body hair (yuk!) and you’re going to ‘man up’. Good bye childish/girlish frame.
  • Twenties/Thirties: learn to hide your feelings. Maybe buy clothes, have a chuck out / purge. Start dating, get a job, etc. Maybe explore cross-dressing more. The drive to ‘be you’ gets more and more.
  • Forties: The drive to ‘be yourself’ is no longer a quiet call, but a bloomin’ great foghorn. 🙂
Most of the t-folk at Chameleons seem to be in the 30s, 40s and 50s age bracket, so my view on the above is coloured by that. Certainly, I seem to be seeing a shift to people coming along earlier, so more people in their 30s, than 40s. I wonder if the old line about your nature affirming itself in your 30/40s, rings true? The idea that in your teens and twenties, you are discovering who you are and your environment shapes you. However, that’s that twin track race of nature vs nurture and the older you get, the more you revert to the former. Or so I’ve read. 🙂
So we had a good chat about complete nonsense, as well as a few deeper moments about how Chameleons offers trans people friendship, a chance to socialise with people like themselves and support too. I mean, just today, I gave a friend a call as she’d not managed to make it to the evening. That touches on something someone said during the chat, that being trans, it’s not just about clothes. It is, and I’ve said this before on this blog, that it goes right through your core being; I won’t say that I’m female, but I will say I have traits that are more typically associated with women. That’s not to say I don’t have male element too; I do. It’s just that I seem to have a mix of both genders, whereas my non-trans friends seem to have a majority share in their own respective genders.
After a quick announcement about next week’s Christmas Do and asking for volunteers for the catering, it was off to the pub. We had quite a turn out, what with our guest, Sophie, Alison, Rhiannon and Tanya. Luckily the car park was fairly empty. We had a good long chat and Tanya & I tried our hand at The Fairy Tale of New York. The latter was good fun and I really enjoyed hearing the other pub goers start to sing along… thankfully, more tunefully than I. Time marched on and it was time to head home. Purse and heart a little lighter. All good stuff!
Take care
Lynn
[ Today’s lyric: Jesus Built My Hot Rod by Ministry ]

3 Comments

  1. Your time line, dear Lynn, mirrors mine perfectly. Not much of an authority on Gospel, you know, but I am in tune with your hymnal.

    Sounds like a lovely time to be Lynn or to be one of your Chams Pals.

    And thanks for the lyric. Haven't thought of Ministry in near forever. Must go hunting for some dusty old cassettes stowed somewhere ….

    Reply

  2. Hi Petra,

    Interesting that the generic time-line seems to fit you too. Perhaps if enough of us got together, we could create some type of research data set? Not that it would go far, but just for the curiosity factor of it. Hmmm. Perhaps something via SurveyMonkey could be done? One for a rainy day.

    It was a lovely night out on Thursday and I enjoyed every minute of it. Funny how evenings come together just so!

    There's a wealth of Ministry on YouTube should you feel the need for a bit of ear bending nostalgia. I'm off to have a listen to 'Thieves'. Crikey, was it all 20 years ago? 😀

    Reply

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