“And you will be so happy to know,
I’ve come alone, it’s over.”


I’m a bit stumped on how to start this post. Not through any requirement to put out a massively important message, I guess it’s just breaking in the white space. Did you ever get that feeling when you got a new exercise book at school? That first sheet was somehow sacred because it was unmarked and full of what might be. Then again, I may just be being a bit of a mentalist. 😉

Anyway, let’s start with some good news shall we? As way of a change 😉 Whatever synergy it was that’s sent the old Black Dog on holiday has kept working its mojo. I’ve felt… well, just kinda normal over the last few weeks. Okay, as normal as I’ll ever be (LOL) but you get my drift. It feels good, nay, very good, to just be myself once again. To be able to be enthused about life and if I am sad, to know that it’s not forever. No more bouts of stooping under what felt like the weight of the world.

Sure, I get tired and things nark me on occasion, but they are fleeting moments in the long view. A good kip settles one, discussion or joking resolves the other. I no longer feel like I’m hanging on trying to avoid slipping down the slope. Neither am I parked up in a lay by staring into space, lost to the world, or obsessing on why dressing up could cure my ills. I didn’t, I think it was an attempt at distraction – not that it helped. Still, whoever said humans made sense? All of that seems far away and in an unreal sense, a bit like it happened to someone else. I’m struggling to reconnect with that depth of sadness… not that I want to go there again. 🙂

But, enough about me, what else has been going on? We had the Chameleons Christmas party on Thursday. Having had a buffet last month, we went for the option of having a Chinese meal to make the catering easier. Given that we were flush on funds, subs were waived and it was just a case of popping a few quid in to cover the food. I was lucky to get their early and put out the tables and chairs. It’s not a lot, but it’s one less thing for someone else to have to do. Besides, a little exercise helps doesn’t it? After that, off upstairs to get changed. Funny, I’ve managed to resist buying a new dress this Xmas. There are a few I like the look of. I mean, Maddy had a fab number on that was a fitted, asymmetric little black number with this season’s lace sleeves. But then I thought when would I wear that again? 🙂

I packed just the two outfits, a red number from yesteryear – okay, the early 90s – and a purple dress I got at the Bring & Buy. The purple one didn’t quite work, although I love the colour. So it was on with the body-con red dress. I saw a very similar number in New Look while out Christmas shopping for the Ever Lovely Mrs J. Why re-spend when you can re-wear? 🙂 Top off with my trusty slightly Gothic black lace cardy and I was good to go. Oh and I struck trans gold with some bangles from Evans. Okay, highstreet chic, but they went on over my man hands… and after I caught Maddy wanting to try then, I did let her borrow a few. Hey, it was Xmas. 😉

Oh talking of Maddy, I did pass her a sequined number I had from 3 years ago. It didn’t quite fit right on me, but Maddy’s shape is different to mine and she was rather chuffed with it. No point hanging on to stuff you don’t use. I was hoping to bump into Kate and hand over some boots (not from Sophie – I’m coveting those LOL). But no show on that regard. I offered Alison my purple dress because I’ve tried it a few times, but it’s never felt right. I’ve got to make a bit of room in my wardrobe! 🙂

Make-up wise the look was a bit stronger and I dabbled with a bit of black eyeshadow (Urban Decay) via an Avon eye brush I bought last time. That and… oh, how dragtastic… false eyelashes. I thought I’d give them a whirl because it was party night. Dare I say, there were fairly easy to put on. I probably helped that I had a good pair of tweezers and some good glue. The cheaper glue took ages to dry, whereas this stuff was just the right level of stickiness in a few seconds. A couple of blinks later – and an audience (why?!) – I was fluttering away. I’d gone for a more natural shape and it did make a difference to my look.

Downstairs, Sandy, Tracey and Rebecca had decked out the hall with table clothes and tea lights. There was a Christmas tree and sparkly disco lights too. Folk mingled and there was lots of chance to catch up with friends. Tina had a new wig on and for a mo, I didn’t recognise her. I had that nagging doubt that I knew her. Funny how hairstyle changes a person’s appearance so radically. The Chinese food when down a treat and afterwards we had the raffle. Muggings here volunteered to pick the tickets out, although we had a slight problem with the wrong tickets in the bag. Adds to the fun I guess. A quick tidy up and it was time to crank up the laptop. I’d found an audio lead that plugged into the group’s stereo, so it was soon tunes a-go-go. Nothing too Christmasy, some disco stuff, some kitsch, some heavy and some old school stuff.

I think we had about half and hour or so of dancing, then it was time to rush upstairs and get cleaned up. Maddy was kind enough to take a snap of me – on the stairs as way of a change – and then it was goodbye to everyone until next time. What a cracking night.

Take care,

[ Today’s lyric: Landed by Ben Folds ]


  1. Claire: Hurry for small victories 😉

    Sorry, no snap of the eyes. I have tried zooming in on the other snaps, you can't make them out.

    I guess I should have taken one as I finished putting them on. Or better still, before and after? Oh well – lessons learned! 🙂

  2. Glad the black dog has wandered off to pester someone else.

    And what a lovely photo of you in your red dress – really suits you, in fact the whole outfit works well.

    Merry xmas to you and yours.

  3. Alex: Hopefully it's wandered off and is moping about on its tod… and not bothering anyone else 🙂

    Merry Xmas to you as well – the first of the season LOL. Oh, and thank you for the kind words on the outfit.

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