‘The way that we talk, The way that we walk, It’s there in our thoughts’

Hey again folks,

How’s life treating you? Back to work huh? Yeah, it sucks after such a good Christmas holiday. Taking extra time off at Xmas has been really nice. It was great to have those extra days off between Xmas and New Years. Yeah, sure you don’t actually do a lot of work during that time, but let’s be honest, wouldn’t you rather be snoozing in bed or tucked up on the sofa eating chocs and watching a DVD? Still, back to the grind. However, there are the Sales to think about! 🙂

Radio Thoughts

If you pop over to Becky’s blog you can have a listen to her radio interview. No, not a podcast, an actual interview with the BBC. Impressive in itself, but it’s the content that makes it stand out. Certainly it is one of the better explanations of transness to the masses.

It does, however, kick off a couple of thoughts in my head. Firstly, for some crossdressing folk there’s this whole want to be seen, not be seen thing going on. It is hard to put into words, but for me at least, you kind of what to be ‘out there’: either in the real world (going out en femme), socialising (support groups, clubbing) or being on-line (blogs, forums, Flickr, homepages, etc). However, while you want to be seen by other t-folk, there’s this insane irony that you (the guy underneath perhaps?) doesn’t want to be seen. Perhaps it is more that you want your t-side (no, not a place oop North) to be visible, but you want your oridinary bloke life to remain closed off. Ahhh… the strange world of being trains eh?

Oddly, if I go out dressed (translation for non-trans folk = going out in the real world dressed as a female) I don’t want to be noticed. What I do want is to just get to my desintation and enjoy life. Realistically, I *know* that I’ll be spotted for what I am, or to use the lingo; ‘read’, but that bothers me less and less. Don’t get me wrong, going out is still rather exciting. I wonder how much of that is risk? Is it the risk of being spotted that we enjoy. Certainly, George Michael’s behaviour rings a feel bells here. But at the end of the day, I can really only comment on my own internal nuttiness. If anyone would like to chip in, please do!


I was doing some computer backups the other day (sad I know) and I found some of my old TG fiction. Back in the day I used to enjoy writing these. I even uploaded one and a few people were kind enough to say some nice things about it too. Writing for yourself is one thing, but a pat on the back is very nice (Ed: egotist!). It’s weird, but I guess now that reality has overtaken fiction, I haven’t bothered to write anything for… well… years. Maybe it’s because I do get to go out and I can now talk to other trans folk that I don’t need the fiction outlet any more. There was also this nagging doubt that if I ever wrote proper fiction (which I still toy with occasionally) somehow people would put the two together – the style being ropey prose, over use or cliches and no spelling checking (wink) – and they’d link my private life to my…ummm… trans-life. Course, writing this blog has kinda blown that option! 🙂

If you read any type of fiction a lot, themes do repeat and in many ways they do become cliched. I’m not disrespecting *all* of the TG fiction that’s out there but like every genre – and to paraphrase Sturgeon’s Law – that’s because 90% of everything is crud.

Recycling Memes

A little while ago a certain IT news site ran an article asking if any blogger was capable of indipendant thought. Once you get past the ‘cheeky b*stards’ knee-jerk reaction there is a grain of truth of that. If you visit certain people blogs you (natch) pick up on what they’re talking about. I’ll be honest and say that moreoften I’m put off blogging about something that someone else has written about. Hell, they’ve already written about it and frequently, anything I add will simple be opinion rather than fact.

But… this week – and as you can see – things are a little different in that both Becky’s radio piece got me thinking and, if I’m honest, Jo’s blog article on captioned images, made me question certain things I’ve accepted as truths. Truths about being a crossdresser or just things about myself.

Going back to the bloggers-recycle statement earlier, how true is this? To look at things from another point of view; do we slate *all* of the media because it promotes discussion in the pub? Nah. What amuses me, is that sometimes the Press really get things wrong. Now, this’ll sound a little crazy, but sometimes it almost reads as if they press do have it in for someone. What throws me is that the people I talk to (friends, workmates, etc) just don’t have the same opinion at all. So what is going on here? Are the people that shape conversation so removed from what is really going on? There’s an interesting thought. The concept that modern day life is in many ways influenced by a press who clearly do not have their finger on the pulse of modern life. I wonder what that’ll do to the history books.

And finally…

Not that I’m knocking the media at all. You Brass Eye wannabes. 🙂 Welcome back Jo.


  1. The going out thing is interesting isn’t it? Like you, at one level, of course, I don’t want to be noticed. I want to blend in and just be another woman out shopping or whatever. And so far, that’s what seems to happen…no-one pays any attention. But then there’s this other side of me inside which is saying ‘Hey world, look at me, look at what I’m doing here! Don’t you know how fantastic it is for me that I can do this?!!’ And then I’m oddly disappointed that no-one notices…

    When out shopping I find the very best, most fulfilling moments are when I actually forget – for a few moments – that I am dressed the way I am, when I lose the self consciousness and just allow a sense of naturalness to flow through. At these moments the constant, incessant consciousness of wanting to present myself as a woman, be a woman even, is quietened, and true true relaxation follows.

  2. Hi girls,

    Okay.. in order of posting:

    Joanna: It was pretty much the opening paragraph that made me think that I’d not viewed any of your captions, nor checked out fictionmania or Crystal’s storysite for a good couple of weeks. It’s funny (not ha-ha funny) that a few years ago that image/story sites would have been my first port of call. So that lead me on to wonder why my behaviour had changed and if it changed for me, who else was gone through this too. I hope that answers your question! BTW, the new red hair is fabby.

    Jo: Heh. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with the bit about forgetting. As you say, to forget and simple be (does that sound like a perfume ad? [wink]) is a great place to be in regardless of where you sit on the TG spectrum. To be honest, I personally would rather not be noticed and just go about my business, but as Tracey (Notts Chams) once said, the more tranny folk go out, the less we are an oddity until we just become part of the crowd. No more funny looks or slightly too loud comments. That would be nice.

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