The Terrible Truth or the Beautiful Lie?

Two posts in a week? Shock horror! 🙂

In time honored tradition I’m going to make it a good news / bad news situation. 🙂

First the good news… the good news is? Well, I still have my family and P. is at least talking to me after last night’s tears. This is at least a good sign. Other good news is, that it’s shopping day today. Time to go and indulge in some retail therapy for P’s xmas presents.

The bad news? Ahh well, we had That Conversation. You know the one, it even gets capitalization. I’ll be honest (which is a rare thing) but you can afford to be straight with complete strangers can’t you. I’m not going to see you in the street and any questioning looks will be lost in the crowd…. 🙂 Honesty? Oh yes, I’ve been overzealous plucking my eyebrows. They’ve never been huge before and now they’re probably the wrong side of arched. This has understandably upset P. and we had a late night conversation about it.

We’ve had one before and it followed a similar pattern. We had the apologies, a few tears (me & her), anger (her), despair (me & her), worry (what about the kids?) and then we came out with a few smiles and jokes. I tried explaining the various reasons psychologists had behind it and maybe that helped. God bless her for sticking with me. I appreciate it must be very hard to understand just why I cross dress – hell, I’m not sure either. 🙂

In one way it’s cleared the air a little – which is always a good thing – but in another I know there’s no way in hell I’m going to Chameleon’s xmas do this week. Not unless I suddenly develop Obi Wan-type powers.

P. said that she hated the secrecy and the lies… I’m entitled to agree – hence the title of today’s blog. So, do you want to know the truth? Do you want to know that I’ve got a cupboard full of clothes, make-up, wigs, shoes, an on-line diary and some photos on a popular trans web board? Or… would you prefer that I don’t mention it and it just lurks in the background? Ahh… is ignorance bliss? I bet this is a column Carrie Bradshaw would never have written! 🙂

I’m fighting the urge to bin everything because I know this is a pointless exercise. I’d be lying to everyone – including myself – if I thought I could give it up. I’ve been their and got the t-shirt (I’m sure others have too) and for me at least, it just didn’t work.

So what’s the answer? If anyone does know, answers on a postcard to the usual address.

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