Hi,
The other day I happened to fall on an article about the positives of journaling. Now, I think we can say that blogging isn’t quite the same as the former, but it may not be sat too far away on the bench.
Yes, there’s stuff I do not write about on YATGB. There are family matters, stories that aren’t mine to tell, and – honestly – things that I think are fab, but would bore the socks off you.
Stop that snoring at the back! 😉
Differences aside, I think there’s still something magical about the old blogging lark. Firstly, there is the ability to write about the Good Stuff, whatever that is. For me, that – despite the aforementioned privacy of holding back – this wee blog is still a place where I can be me…. or ‘all of me’, even. Less filter and second guessing.
The process of writing about the good helps, I find. I guess that’s why we – trans folk – often take a lot of snaps. It’s a way to look back when things were working, that we felt authentic, we were with friends, out in the world; any or all of those positives that warm you with a dose of contentment and time away from the gloom. Any of those, be the the written word or photos are, IMO, to be held on to, to be remembered, and brought out or reflected on, when things are not going well.
Even little things – which are often lost in the whizz and fizz of a week – become stronger, more memorable when down on paper or screen. Take for example this week, some new tights arrived and rather than shirt plus basic troos, I took the time to find a skirt that matched my (bloke) shirt, and try on some heels I’d had the shoe-stretcher challenge. I felt quite professional and while even low heels aren’t exactly comfortable, emotionally I felt in a good place. Not distracted or anything else, but okay, with it, and focused on the work.
Later, it was off for a walk in the spring sunshine and let the hounds have a good sniff in the grass. I dare say they’ve got the scent of the local rabbits, but thankfully Bugs remains off camera. Shame, their drag was very impressive 😉 No doubt the Wascally Wabbit will be on the list of thoughtcrime 2.0 from the BWAC – Bigots Without a Clue. 😏
Part of me feels Little Wins are somehow the pursuit of trivia, but that’s not a phrase I’d use to describe a friend sharing some good news. I mean, in modern parlance: don’t yuk someone’s yum. Conversely, taking joy in the every day, that feels (almost) like an act of rebellion given the [engage polite mode] nonsense that’s being thrown around by useful idiots, grifters, bigots, and morons. Interestingly, those four parts of the Venn Diagram often overlap, but let’s move on 😉
In wider positive news, The Good Law Project continue to represent communities and, IMO, they’ve stepped up to the mark in taking on a number of cases to hold power to account, protect those without the power of money, and challenge the unlawful & unethical. Not just around the debacle of anti-equality that’s been applied to the trans community, but the persecution of trans accepting organisations by bad actors. In further good news, NION – or Not In Our Name – published they’d reached a milestone of over 100,000 signatures to their open letter in supporting inclusive rights.
So, here we are again – like the 60s, 70s, and 80s – where a minority number of the No group who have the money and the ear of governments, want to spoil it for the rest of us.
Like Section 28 and all the rest, I am hoping the continued efforts of allies and the community will pay off in time. That we will see off this bigotry and it’ll go into the history books along with other dumb things humans did back in the day. You know, stupid things like not allowing a person to rent a house because of the colour of their skin, or not allowing a grown adult to have their own bank account, unless they have their husband’s permission.
L x
Blogging shouldn’t be about presenting your personal diary to the world but sharing thoughts and experiences that resonate with a particular community. That strengthens community cohesion. If you can share something positive, as you have, then great but if it’s something negative then there’s support and recognition to be gained. I’m glad to hear about the Good Law Project’s work here and, as I often say, I don’t think this minority of trans haters will get as far as they hope because they’re hanging on the skirts of populism that’s becoming increasingly unpopular so transphobia itself should become more unpopular by association.
Have a nice weekend.
Sue xx
Hi Sue. Yes, it [blogging] is not quite the same. Related in that their might be personal stories, experiences, etc. But – and this is probably the key difference I missed in the post’s opening paragraph 🙃 – is one is private and the other, well, isn’t.
The latter part will, I think, have conscious and subconscious influence on the nature of the content. There might be blogs out there where that’s not the case, but I think – hand on heart – that YATGB is in the self-censored, written* for viewing.
( * Not always coherently 😁)
I think I have sought advice directly on here. I have certainly written about my experiences and there’s often a advisory “well, this worked for me” aspect to it.
There’s also emotional posts in which I’ve shared because I needed an outlet. The replies on the latter can range from ‘yeah, me too’, “I did this”, and/or empathy.
Buuuut, all of that aside for a mo, keeping both a track of the good stuff and focusing on writing about it; I think that’s the key win for me.
As to Good Law Project and related allyship, I am seeing “that exclusion targets me as a woman/parent/punk/artist/parent of a trans person”. Then there’s the growing, frankly, anger that the actual issue – predatory men and violence against women – is both underreported and shockingly, rarely prosecuted. I was listening to the Ever Lovely Mrs J discuss the stats and it’s just…. I’m struggling for the words due to my feelings… disgustingly wrong.
Interesting post, Lynn.
For me, blogging is both a form of therapy and a creative outlet. As you say, it’s a place where you can truly be yourself. I made the mistake of deleting content from my old blog, and I regret doing so now. Some of those posts were quite raw and captured exactly how I felt not long after coming out to my wife. There was also a post about betrayal, about confiding a deeply personal secret to someone you trusted, only to have that trust broken.
I like to think of blogging as my “happy hobby.” I enjoy working on things like the layout and presentation just as much as the writing itself. I’m never quite sure how my blog looks to others, but when I see it on the screen, I’m pleased with both its appearance and the content I’ve created.
I’m not sure about you, but sometimes I struggle to get my thoughts out of my head and into words on the screen. I know what I want to say, but I just can’t seem to articulate it. Other times, the words flow effortlessly and seem to write themselves.
Thanks
Lotte x
Ah ‘happy hobby’, that’s rather lovely, IMO. I may take that away and re-use, if that’s alright. In contrast to the rawness of writing – and sometimes such things need to be written about, if you’re safe to do so <3 – reflecting on what’s gone well or what you have to look forward to, I think they help with creating a contented vibe.
As to getting things out the head: yes, there’s been times at either end of the procrastination spectrum. On one far end, there’s so much fluttering around my head, that I can’t seem to grasp any one thing to start. At the other, it’s radio silence, crickets, and/or “duhhhh”, where the lights are on, but no-one is at home 🙂 The happy place is somewhere in the middle, where there’s some creative drive, but not too much. Perhaps like a good coffee – you want to be awake, but not rave-ready with your own inner drumbeat! 😀