The future and the past

Hi,

Welcome to the future! Flying cars; near free energy from the local plasma tokamak; the three day week; snow at Christmas; food for all; bespoke clothes that fit and that are ethically and environmentally sourced; and everyone so jolly there’s no need for war and hate.

…. and then I woke up.

Bugger 🙄

Still, has it ever been thus if we only hear about the bad stuff?

Shall we instead turn from the wider issues and take a moment to look at the smaller stuff? No, not my IQ number 😉 but the things we can do locally, and try to do good where we can?

Chams 2024.01.E1

If I was a proper geek I might have written StarDate, but that’s a numbers thing, and that’s so not my bag 🙂

Yes, the first meeting of the year for Chams and it was fairly busy. That’s a good thing in my book. We had three new people contact us checking to see how to find us, what goes on, etc. The turn of the year seems to nudge folk into action. Gold stars to those of you working to help accept yourself and take care of your needs! 🌟🏳️‍🌈

It was great to see new folk chatting with regulars and the return of a few folk who’d not been able to make a meeting for a while.

I also got to wear my new boots and despite Not So Little Miss Klutz nearly tripping over a table leg, they were really comfy!

Also, I bought two things this week that were useful. Snag are re-releasing their 120 denier tights and they’re super cosy. Teamed with a pair of leggings they certainly keep the chill out.

I also bought a Nyx lip prep pencil and that’s really helped keep my lippy on. I’d had a problem with my liquid lipstick wearing off – especially on the inside of my lip – and this sorted it.

We were all kids once

Last month I happened to be reading Philippa Perry’s advice column. Trigger warnings for parental issues, family violence, and abuse.

As ever, Philippa’s insight, expertise, and empathy shone through. The reader’s question wasn’t something I had any experience of, but this comment, well, derailed me:

Have compassion for that scared little child that was you.

Philippa Perry, The Guardian

I put my phone down and just looked into the distance; gaze and mind stilled. I’ve written before that my thinking akin to a firework show of ideas and concepts popping, whizzing, and exploding as they form. For something to still that noise and give me focus. That’s quite rare.

When I slow my thoughts and think on her words, I find myself thinking:

How could I know, as a kid? I wouldn’t (and don’t) expect my children to instinctively know how to behave, to not say the wrong thing, etc. Yet, I did of myself.

I didn’t pick who – or more accurately, what – I was. My sense of being a blend of feminine and masculine was innate: it was inbuilt and natural. Conversely, hiding and suppressing it were not.

If anything, the outside seemed at odds with the inside. My early years seemed to push the narrative that boys were rough, loud, sporty, active, hard, and did not cry.

Meanwhile, I hated violence, I worried about others, I preferred collaboration & discussion, and I was sh** at anything involving speed or aim. I cried at films and music being the sensitive type (overly so?).

Have compassion for that scared little child that was you.

Maybe I need to look back and do that. To metaphorically (spiritually?) hug them and say quietly, it’s okay.

It’s okay not to know. It’s okay to get things wrong. This is how we learn and grow.

It’s okay to be you, and know that this will pass. You will survive this.

Some kids – and adults – will be mean for reasons you don’t understand. You don’t need to be mean and you’ll learn how to avoid such things. Yes, words hurt, but that doesn’t make them right or true.

The world will change, you will change, and you’ll find people who understand you, love you, and want to be friends with you.

Have compassion for that scared little child that was you.

It’ll be okay.

L x