The strange lens

Hi,

As I was getting ready the other night, I had one of those moments of why am I doing this? That sightly off-centre thought that makes you question what’s going on. It’s all the…. malarkey and faffing about. A close shave, packing a bag, strapping in to shapewear, painting my face various colours, and then putting on fake hair. It’s all a bit…. confusing at times.

But, so to perhaps is yelling at eleven folk pushing a ball around the grass, getting involved in a fabricated drama about people who do not exist, or tapping madly on a plastic controller to move some coloured lights on a screen.

Well, look who’s had their vitamin cynicism today 😉

Perhaps the truly strange thing isn’t any of the above. Maybe it’s ignoring who you really are, not trying to keep the planet habitable, or supporting organisations that are actively hostile to who you are.


In related news… I’m tired of replying I’m tired. Not the physical lack of energy, but whatever internal – which autocorrect kindly put as infernal 🙂 – issues are currently affecting my mood and lethargy. When M asked me how things were on Thursday, I wished I could have said oh, okay really, but that wouldn’t be true nor accurate. I’m frustrated things seem to be dragging on… and not the right type of drag either 😉 More fab, less flag, please brain 🌈

Not quite knee length and at my age too. Tsk 🙂

A night out certainly helped. As much as I am okay with my own company, listening to others and being with people like me, well, it’s both rewarding and somehow recharges something within me. It’s something I don’t seem to get in CisTown as much.

It’s sort of like the feeling you get when you do a good deed because it seems the kind thing to do. I don’t do the latter because of the joyful feeling, but because I think the world could do with a bit more kindness. Perhaps in these troubled times, we need a lot more…. but I’ll stop there before I go into a scathing comment about certain governments near and far.

So, I’m grateful for an evening with friends, the Ever Lovely Mrs J’s health hanging on in their, and getting a few things done this week. West good stuff have you got in your life right now? It doesn’t matter if it’s big or small, so long as it makes a difference for you.

L x

4 Comments

  1. As ever, a warm hug and best wishes for getting over all the drags on happiness that there are at the moment. Glad you got to Chams, which I know is your fortnightly recharge. And may I say that you look lovely. That top is gorgeous and the skirt is so cute (well, so’s the model wearing them, but we’re not into flattery at all at all 😉 ). Have a good weekend and hope next week is a step towards a better outlook, a better life, a better world. Sue x

    1. Thank you, Sue. Yes, there’s a lot going on in the world at the mo, but let’s take a moment to ignore that just for a mo. Perhaps even take respite that we have the luxury of being able to switch off from it.

      The top is a hand-me-down from Mrs J. The pattern and fit are spot on for me. The skirt I’ve had for ages, but I often pass over it. It’s partly the fit and partly the length. However…. I think sometimes you have to step away from what’s easy, comfortable, or safe and try something that pushes you a little. Yes, it’s only a skirt, but small steps and acknowledging that it’s okay to make a change: I think that’s important.

      As Mrs J said to me while the dinner bubbled away on the hob, sometimes you have to look at your options and pick. That’s the way out from the guilt of not doing. Wise and beautiful as ever, bless her ❤️

  2. I know what you mean. Between the horror and tragedy of what’s going on in the outside world, the knock-on effects on prices over here and L’s frustration at being grounded by an intermittent hip problem, my own thoughts and concerns about dressing seem trivial and selfish and have either retreated or been pushed into the background. I’ve already abandoned two or three draft posts before hitting publish because I couldn’t justify the reason for writing them, let alone posting them.
    I don’t know whether the lack of pressure on that side is a welcome relief or a more worrying sign that I’m starting to close down where I’m just living for work rather than the other way around.

    1. Sorry to hear that, Susie. FWIW, I don’t think your concerns are invalid or trivial, and I think I know what you mean when you say (worry?) that they are. ❤️

      It, blogging, can feel like hauling a heavy load and I think there’s times when you do that, only to pause and think ‘why have I spent the time writing that? What does that do, either for me or others, in publishing it?’ A thought that pushes content back into draft.

      Perhaps, and to riff on the words of a writing course, the post of quite ready yet. It’s not rubbish, nonsense, self indulgent, or any of those judgements: it needs a bit more time. Perhaps not just to hone it or think it’s good enough, but for you to be okay with stating it as well.

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