Ghosts

Hi,

I’ve heard it said that as you get older, you spend more time looking back than looking forward. Perhaps that adage needs a slight update for our current times: the less you can do, the more you look back at what you have done, and what you might do.

So this last week or so, old memories of the dressing I’d done at home in yesteryear, and, moreover, that things have moved on.

I was sat enjoying the sun last week in the conservatory and my gaze drifted over to a place by the shed. I think I spent an early evening setting the timer, dashing back to a plastic chair, and hoping to have some success in not looking too flustered. I’ll not be sharing those photos. 🙂

On the way back into the house, I passed through the lounge and a spot by the door, where I’d perched on the corner of the sofa. A red dress, knee boots, and my first wig. We don’t have that settee anymore. I think that might have been the early 2000s. It was one of the first photos I ever put online.

Oddly enough, and despite the usual spot at Chams HQ, I don’t think I’ve any photos taken on the stairs. So much for certain clichés 🙂 Maybe with the staircase being quite twisty turny, it’s been a nonstarter.

The kitchen featured once and so did the back room. That part of the house has been knocked through into one long, open space, and I think it’s better for it. It’s also another way out into the garden.

The bedrooms have swapped around as our family has grown. What was the bedroom for the Ever Lovely Mrs J and I became Wee Man’s, and what was his, was freed for Little Miss.

My early visits to Chams had me getting changed, while the Ever Lovely Mrs J would be reading in the other room. I think Wee Man was indeed very wee, so was tucked up in bed well before I left.

The photo is from long ago. I remember buying those heels in a long closed shop in the Broadmarsh. A place that has almost closed as the owners get ready to strio it back and rebuild. I am guessing that project is on hold given the lockdown. I hope they bring that place back to its former glory.

Right now, we’re all spread out in the house, doing our own thing. Mrs J is upstairs reading, Little Miss will be watching YouTube on her phone, and I can hear Wee Man taking to his mates while they pay an online game. So it goes as we change as a family.

Now, what to do in the summer when it’s safe to meet up again? I would like a day out. To feel the sun on my face, the warm sun through my clothes, the swish of my hair as I move, and the either the tap tap tap of heels or soft padding of my flats. Maybe to meet and laugh with others or maybe just my own. Above all, to be out there in the world and to not be in bloke mode for a time.

L x

2 Comments

  1. It is certainly true that as we get older we (or at least I) look back into the past a lot. During this difficult time like you I have been think about more recent happenings, it seems so long ago when I was at Pink Punters with my friends and sadly it will be some considerable time before we are able to get there again. But I am looking forward to just getting out in the fresh air in femme mode and away from this man thingie for a while, sounds like bliss…………….

    1. Hopefully you’re looking back with fondness and not regret. ♥️ Been there, doesn’t help 😁

      As to future things, that sounds good. At the moment, clearly time moves on, although being in the same room, at the same desk, does feel a little Groundhog Day sometimes. 🤔

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