Reflect well

Hi,

How’s things with you, dear reader? Hopefully okay and if not, hopefully moving that way.

As an unprofessional waffler – you think I’m paid for this guff? 🙂 – I keep a list of ideas should the creative waters run dry. No, not a climate change reference but a case of knowing – and sadly having experienced – having nil in the tank when it comes to a weekly post.

Tiredness is the enemy. Odd given my superpower is napping and to prove it, my proverbial Kryptonite are ticking clocks. They’re just so… regular… with their accursed ticking! 😁

Where was I? Yes, creativity, tiredness, and a stash of ideas. So it is that this week I’m drawing on said list. One of those weeks were it’s been a little full on, shall we say. Not a bad one, just a busy one.

Looking back…

As I was looking at the ideas list, one jumped out to me. The question of when had I been happiest in Lynn mode?

Well, *technically* I’m always in Lynn mode in my head, just outwardly I have to present differently. That may be another post though 🙂

Thinking back to last week’s happy event – nay, possibly transjoy, if I’m honest – I was reminded of a moment at Chams. I’ve written about it before and because I can’t be bothered to search through the umpteen years of posts, here’s the skinny. TL;DR – while getting changed at Chams one night on my own, something clicked within: “This is okay. This is my normal.”

Call it an epiphany, “a moment of clarity”, a lightbulb moment, or even just ‘Oh. I see.’ – however you care to wrap it up, it’s a very good moment and I feel very fortunate to have had it. I would add, for the record, that it feels like a gift. One gained from being with others and listening to their wisdom. It is not an achievement, a badge to sport, or a flag to wave. If anything, it’s a place I would love for others to find.

The gift of transjoy

There is a lot of bad sh** going down at the moment and there are times when it feels the torrent won’t let up until we’re gone. Washed away into the shadows, the closet doors nailed shut behind us.

But… I think about the moment when I found that illusive peace. A time where the dysphoria, the guilt, and the shame vanished. I think to the time I tried a wig that felt like the real me. I think to last week’s joy of feeling right in my own skin.

Whatever those currently in charge try to do, those memories will be with me. I know that there will be others yet to come. In the wide bell curve there will be some bad, lots of average, but there will be more good and some excellence too.

I guess, like the nonsense we had to put up with in the 80s – looking at you, Section 28 and tabloid w*** – we will outgrow and outlive the lies.

Enough voices of real, lived experience will poke at the fear and hate farming. People with friends, family, workmates, etc who are gender nonconforming, they will help spread the truth. That we’re people before anything else and that we’re okay.

Keep on being you, as best you can.

L x