Lessons Learned: Part XI – Avoid Purging

Hi, The other day, someone asked about how they could stop purging. Okay, so first off, from a Trans community point of view, purging is all about throwing all your your clothes, shoes, wigs, and makeup away. At least for Assigned Male at Birth folk, and I would guess there’s a similar process for Assigned Female at Birth people too It typically follows periods of very low self esteem and/or high levels of guilt. What do we have to be guilty about? Oh, you just need to listen to that negative voice in your head. The one that tells you are aren’t good enough, that you’re ugly, that you’re a fake, hideous, attention seeking, a perv, etc. I would wager […]

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Lessons Learned: Part X – Things when out & about

Hi, With luck and confidence on your side, just maybe you’ll be stepping out into the world. That might be to a support group, social event, a day out, etc. Whatever it is, there’s a few key items that can help. Brolly – a fold up umbrella can help keep dry, save your wig, and provides a handy privacy of the weather turns against you. Change – have a few quid in loose coinage for parking meters, snacks, beverages, etc. Some of the fancier toilets may require you to pay, so don’t be caught short. 🙂 Exit Kit – a ‘bug out bag’ with makeup removal wipes, nail varnish remover, spare male clothes, and somewhere to store your fancier clothes. […]

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Lessons Learned: Part IX – Nails

The other night after closing up Chams HQ, I was sat in my car removing my nail polish. Having fancy nails is something I enjoy and as I switched from fab to drab, I realised I’d not written anything about nails in the Lessons Learned series. First off, let’s get the usual disclaimer out of the way, in that this post is based on my own experiences in muddling through life. I am not recieving any kick backs from any products I mention. Shame, as honesty lets you sleep well, even if it doesn’t pay to keep the heating on 😉 The Choices Over the years I’ve tried the following with various levels of success and, uhh, could-do-better. 🙂 Nail […]

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Lessons Learned: Part VIII – Fake your shape

Hi, In previous Lessons Learned I’ve written about various things including finding your personal style and shopping. This post (hopefully) fills a gap around building your shape. Now, that might seem a bit odd – I almost wrote nuts, but we’ll come too those later 😉 – in the idea you can build a shape. What I mean is, what are the tricks, hacks, and ProTips to help you have more of a femme figure compared to your regular figure. I will touch on FTM stuff as well, but as that’s not my area of expertise, it will be light. First off, let me a clear – oh dear, I sound like a politician about to not answer the question […]

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Lessons Learned: Part VII – To pass or not to pass?

Hi, In the last Lessons Learned I wrote about going out and the need for some self-belief to help make that happen. Listening to trans friends and reflecting on my own experiences, one of the things that can really hammer us is passing. For those not in the know, shall we aim for passing as appearing as your preferred/new gender and not being ‘read’ (spotted/outed/seen) as transgender. It’s not about tricking anyone, it’s often about personal safety, but there’s more than that. (Note: a slight edit to that paragraph. I’m not a huge fan of definitions – I’m more a story person – but I think we need to start somewhere 🙂). I think passing is a curious thing: an […]

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