Ah, Friday night at last. Hello old friend. I see your best mates Saturday and Sunday will be joining us later…
This next bit may seem a bit odd, but then if you’re not expecting that at YATGB by now, I wager you may have missed a few posts 🙂
Now, there are a few rare times when I have a physical reaction around who I am. Or, more accurately, a response to the… issue of not being able to be who I need to be at certain times. I’m lucky in that such feelings are short felt and as a part timer, I’m mostly okay in Richard mode. As I’ve said before, it’s all fine until it isn’t. So, there are times when I’m acutely aware of my ‘unlynnness’… and there are times when that bothers me. Like, this afternoon.
I feel such bumps in the road as either a drop in my stomach, a poke in the heart, or similar. Is it a feeling of loss or even pain? Well, I wouldn’t say it was agony, but it’s not exactly something I look forward to either 🙂 But at whatever level of is, and I’ve swapped out the words hurt as, well, they’re not quite right. Too strong perhaps? Or if I’m honest, I don’t actually want to write them because A) they feel a little dramatic*, and B) do I want to admit to these feelings?
Yet, as with the wee star in the above paragraph, would I make such judgment on the words of a friend? In honesty, no, I don’t think I would. So if I apply the idea of being kind to oneself, perhaps such feelings – like experiences – are valid. To run the self care programme a little more, maybe it’s wise to acknowledge feelings as that, momentary and fleeting. That I can choose to react or not.
There’s also a sort of tangled feeling. Like the one where the t-shirt isn’t quite on straight under your shirt, only in this case, the tangledness is within. Like I want to shake loose or work out a knot in a muscle that’s not there.
Does this ring a bell with anyone or I am just crackers? Actually, it can be both 😋
In other news, it’s nearly the Chams Christmas Do… or, at least I hope it will be and the COVID goblin won’t put pay to it. Who would’ve thought leaving a large swathe of the world’s population would’ve given the virus plenty of hosts to infect and mutate in? Oh, yes. Scientists… but when do those in charge listen to them? I’ll give you a clue: when it suits.
Fingers crossed things will come together. By lucky happenstance, I remembered I had some barely there shoes that would go with an old dress. I have bought new toeless tights and I’ve got a dress on order. As much as I had hoped not to buy anything new, sometimes, I guess a gal – even a part time one – needs a little help to boost them up. 🙂